NEW Stupid Republican Idea of the Day (Part 3)

Tommy Tuberhead says America has strayed from its “Judo-Christian” values and that immigrants “know nothing about God”.

…make a rock so heavy that god couldn’t lift it.

Don’t try to fool God. It’s even worse than when you give Mother Nature fake butter.

Is it possible for God to make a person that is actually dumber than a rock? Seems like Senator Potatotown is really trying to test the hypothesis.

Karate chop a commie immigrant for Christ!

Because they come from countries nobody has ever heard of. Obviously.

If they can’t talk the talk, how can they walk the walk?

They come from places unknown, don’t speak languages, and have never heard of God.

Are these people supposed to be Mexicans or the Uruk-Hai?

Return of the Sea Peoples.

The going price for Trump sneakers is falling faster than NFTs.

Hell, Tan the Conman was born in the United States*, yet he speaks a gibberish nobody else does.

*Was he really, though? Has anyone seen the long form birth certificate?

He’s speaking in tongues, a time-honored tradition among evangelicals who’ve been struck by ghod, or something like that.

Yuou cuon ilveys use-a zees leenk tu type-a Svedeesh Cheff Speek. Bork Bork Bork!

Look, with Trump, Tuberville, today’s republican pary, and the magatoflatearthers, it’s not only possible, it’s no longer even in the realm of miracle; it’s all too common.

Yeah, like Puerto Rico. At least, that’s te way Tan the Conman looked at the territory, not knowing it’s part of the United States.

They take pride in it. To them, Stupidity is a virtue.

Where do you think I got the idea.

And I believe ending with “um gesh de bork bork” does have precedent in the canon.

From your link:

“We live in a constitutional republic that’s trying to do things without our Judo-Christian values”, i.e. without my values.

I worry that things may become violent what with the Judo and all.

And, of course, there’s no such thing as “Judeo-Christian values”. The main so-called value of Christianity is in direct opposition of the main value of Judaism. But, hey, it’s a cool sounding title the bigots can use to show they’re not really all that bigoted, isn’t it?

Yeah, nothing quite screams ‘follower of Christ’ quite like “I came as a stranger and you welcomed me with barbed wire and hip throws”

Fox News invited a man who once beat his wife because she put too much cheese on a sandwich to come talk about how the browns are all criminals.

A flight attendant’s primary job is one that most of them never have to do, and all hope never to do. The reason they’re on the plane is in case they’re needed for emergency response. All of the serving drinks and the like is just the airlines going “Well, if we have to have them anyway, they might as well keep busy”.