Drinking a milkshake without a straw is STUPID. I say this as someone who has drank a milkshake without a straw, and I was stupid, and I paid for it.
Why is it stupid? Well, if the milkshake is cold and/or thick enough, or not mixed up enough, it can solidify. And let’s say you’ve been drinking it for a while and it’s down halfway in the glass. You can’t just tilt it a little to sip from it. The shake is just kind of stuck in there. So you tilt it more, still stuck, tilt it more, still stuck, and then it gets dislodged and you get one chunk of ice cream falling out of your glass onto your face. Like the milkshake threw a snowball at you as punishment for being stupid enough to drink a milkshake without a straw.
You need a straw, or at least a little spoon or something to stir around in the thing to keep it broken up.
But of course Jesse Watters gives stupid advice, and tells you to do things that are harmful. He’s a Fox News host pushing a right wing agenda. At least drinking a milkshake wrong will at worst cause a mess for your face and/or clothes. Other advice he gives will cause a mess for your life or the country.
Well as I posted upthread, hiccuping is not manly, according to watters. And I presume, since it’s an involuntary reflex, the only manly thing to do is tear out your diaphragm?
If not giving a crap about whether something makes you look more manly or whatever means I’m not a true man, then I’m not a true man, and I don’t care.
No, not giving a crap about whether something makes you look more manly or whatever makes you MORE of a true man ™. True men don’t care what others think. True men know lesser men are emulating THEM.
So if some faux true man makes fun of you for using a straw, beat him senseless* and enjoy your milkshake in peace.
Egads, mustard, mayonnaise, and Miracle Whip? And relish, for texture. (shudder)
Fair enough, but he is the one that talked about pursing their lips and the face it makes, so it wasn’t so much gay men aren’t manly as it was Watters is worried about men pursuing their lips and sucking things. Also, I think her last remark was “sucking a man’s cum through a straw” - she certainly says “through a straw”.
And one was about playing with your own dick, not sucking dick.
Hiccups are driven by the diaphragm, but to eliminate the proximal cause, you would have to yank out your epiglottis. Which is easier to reach and remove and not instantly fatal, though, that milkshake filling your lungs would probably be the last straw.
Oh OK, I take it back then. That’s not crass at all.
Let’s wrap up this tangent. I love Alien Super Show, and Beth Stelling was overall great in this episode. I just thought her quips in those couple of minutes weren’t the right tone, that’s all.
I wonder if Watters took the wrong lesson from that old MASH episode, where Hawkeye takes Radar to the officers’ club. hawk orders liquor, but Radar order a grape nehi. The bartender snidely asks “you want a straw with that?” and Radar replies “we don’t use straws on the front.” Manly, Radar, manly,
But a diaphragm is something that a woman uses to avoid getting pregnant! See! It all fits!
In other news, I saw an RV at the gas station earlier that had www.susan4usa.com written all over it in what appeared to be magic marker (possibly Trump’s favorite brand…Sharpie).
A quick look at her website doesn’t reveal her political affiliation, but her beliefs strike me as being very right-wing. Among the things she’s advocating:
the National Guard going door to door and handing out paper ballots
using your SSN (social security number, for those not initial savvy) as your voter ID since you are only issued one
the National Guard collecting all ballots, and then counting them 3x in order to make sure that no fraud can occur.
She’s indicated on there that she’s been communicating with the government of West Virginia about massive voter fraud, and claims to have a case pending with SCOTUS.
Wow, that was fun. All the text was centered, who does that? But the best line on the page was “Is it UNCONSTITUTIONAL TO FORCE U.S CITIZENS to "REGISTER to VOTE " to have OUR VOTE COUNTED? YES!”
He was born in San Francisco, in 1969, to an artist and a gonzo reporter, which tells me that people should be careful about their pre-copulation activities.
