Hi all!
Just joined at the urging of my friend concrete. This looks like a pretty cool board! Think I’ll hang around a bit. 
Hi there! Welcome!
Help yourself to some snacks, wipe your feet, and smoking is outside. The bar is self-serve, too.
WOO HOO!! A virgin!! Pretend like I am a bottle of fine champagne smashing against your bow. Do you have a bow?
Self serve bar?? this is my kinda place! 
I think I just smashed the last of it. DAMN! Liquor stores are closed! I’ll make a run…Strawberry flavored Boone’s for Everyone!
::Walks in with a case of Cristal::
Welcome aboard
checks features yes, it appears I have a bow and a stern 
Welcome, marble!
As the single most beloved poster on this message board, I want to offer my personal welcome. Sure, you’ll notice the other posters pretend like they “don’t know who I am”, but that’s just an act. Much like the friends of superstars make a big show of not gushing and being impressed by their celebrity status, the other posters of the SDMB try very hard not to fawn all over me. Sometimes, they try so hard that threads I post in immediately die an ignoble death, and hilarious remarks I make go uncommented upon. The price of fame, I guess.
Stick with me, kid. You’ll go places.
(glides quietly but quickly up to marble)
Hello
(revealing fangs, continues to follow marble down the street)
You will join usss, yessssss?
(effortlessly keeping pace as marble gains speed)
Yesss… yessssss, join ussssss…
join usss…
usssss…
yesssss…
(stops, blinks)
Oh, shit. Did I do it again? Sorry marble dude.
(wanders off sheepishly)
Oh Ross, don’t be silly…marble would never run away like that! marble has no fear…marble is strong, yet beautiful.
Giraffe, I hate it when one goes to all the trouble of coming up with a snappy extremely entertaining reply and it gets overlooked. I shall keep a sharp eye in your direction for witticisms.
Heya dude, welcome!
It would probably help this thread quite a bit if you could tell us a little something about yourself and your general outlook on life.
We’re not only voyeurs, but we like to speculate on what to expect
— G. Raven
Why, hello!
I know you will have fun here. In the (almost) four months that I have been here, I have met all sorts of new friends. You could be my friend, too, if ya wanna. Anyway, I just wanted to say hello and give you a nice little welcome. You will love this place.
Thank you all for the nice welcomes!
Trying to weasel information outta me already, huh? OK.
I work in the construction field, marble and granite flooring mostly, hence the name.
I live in Florida
Married
3 dogs
oh, and I have a terrible tendency to be a smartass I don’t really try to do that, it just sort of…happens
Better a smartass than a dumbass.
That’s what I alawys thought!
Your friend Concrete?
Hmmm, Marble you say.
Ok then, uh, welcome to the boards, I hope you enjoy your stay.
My, but you are an attractive young thing. Come to my study, sit on my knee and we can talk it over.
I have some boiled sweets…
From one newbie to another, welcome to the World of Smartasses
Ruby! Put that .sig back on RIGHT NOW!
…yes, dear…