As our former veep is hopefully hurtling towards obsolescence and death resulting from a failed pacemaker, to what uses can we put him to in the interim?
Suggestions:
Scarecrow: Just his face alone will send farm pests scattering in a 10 mile radius.
Punishment for misbehaving children: “Stop whining, or else we’ll have to get Cheney to babysit again!”
Any others?
Driver’s Education Instructor: They are usually pretty cantankerous anyways, so he’d fit right in.
Not good enough? Ok.
Rifle range target holder: 'nuff said.
Stunt double for Richard Dreyfuss.
Celebrity Death Pool candidate; VH-1 Celebreality dating show contestant “Undisclosed Location of Love”; US Army firearms instruction program moving target (Level 1); Old Navy spokesmodel; Supermax prison inmate.
Caretaker/Custodian for an Undisclosed Location.
A prop for anti-Republicanism counselling. “You don’t want to wind up like him do you ? Touch the rose and make it wither again Cheney.”
Crotchedy, often misunderstood neighbor on a Disney Channel sitcom.
Border Patrol guard… We already know he can shoot.
[obscure reference] Actor for the live-action Gunman Stan McKurt show: He can shoot evil in the face. [/obscure reference]
Stage magician: Watch him make working majorities and budgets disappear! Then watch him disappear himself!
Replacement for the scary dancing old dude in the Six Flags commercials.
Replacement for the Crypt Keeper.
Bad Will Ambasador: Send him to countries that are on our ‘shit list.’
I’d got for star in a Survivor-based show, only the viewers get to vote on when he gets off the deadly jungle filled with cannibals. Until such time as they do, the show doesn’t have a definite ending point, much like Iraq.
Failing that, I can see a bright future for him in religion. The minister’s homily on the existence of the devil would work much, much better with such a prop.
I like his new job as interviewee/speachifier who constantly reminds people just how hateful the Bush administration was. I hope he keeps it up.
He can tour as a live action Penguin (see: Batman) impersonator.
Which would not be anything different from what he already does.
Human toilet plunger.
I can also see him making a good horror film actor. A role similar to that clown in the Stephen King movie ‘It’ would be downright chilling. I mean, what could be possibly be scarier than looking into a curbside storm drain and seeing Cheney staring back at you with a shotgun in hand.
Defendant.
Heeeere comes CHENEY ! 
Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.
No, he’s not a mod, so he couldn’t do that.
You owe me a new keyboard.
You obviously haven’t see the movie, or read the book. (Strangely, I’m re-reading it for about the 10000th+ time right now).
“You’ll float…want to float…we all float down here…Saddam floats, you’ll float too. Want an oil derrick? It floats.”
We can lock him in a brightly lit room and play Barry Manilow’s Looks Like we Made It, non stop, until he snaps and divulges the location and destruct codes for the death star.
Chum.