Yesterday did not get better. I got yelled at for my important meeting. I got it rescheduled though so that was good. But my daughter’s IEP meeting was supposed to be today, having been rescheduled from last week when they had to cancel school. Well they cancelled school again today. So, again, no IEP meeting and another day of working from home and another rescheduling of the IEP meeting. I’m so frustrated I want to cry.
And they haven’t fixed the leak so I can’t use the microwave still.
…buddy, I bought a boat last year … do you have any idea how expensive it is to own a boat? … I am completely blown away … every darn piece that goes on a boat costs easily 3-5 times the price of the same piece that doesn’t go on a boat … how is that fair?…
What you need to do, but probably don’t have the bandwidth for, is to schedule a come-to-Jesus meeting with your co-workers and say:
This situation is unsustainable. I cannot have people ignoring my deadlines. When I set a deadline saying “I need X by Y,” this is set with very good reason. I need those deadlines respected, period. If you think it is unreasonable or impossible to meet the deadline, I need to know as soon as possible after I issue it.
The personal stuff will all be much easier to manage when work stress has abated.
This is actually my fault this time, sort of. We had the funder meeting too late, which pushed everything to the last minute. It wasn’t strictly my fault or strictly the funder’s fault but it was just a lapse by basically everyone involved and I didn’t know what I needed until the meeting and I still don’t know what I need until tomorrow’s finance meeting because we still haven’t decided what to apply for and it’s due Monday.
And I am spending at least as much time worrying about it as I am doing what I can to address it and I have to get out of that somehow.
But generally yes, you are correct.
I had a Coke. Not my strongest moment but in the absence of anxiety meds, sugar does in a pinch.
Check with CVS pharmacy, they carry some CPAP supplies. I have been told it is only the CVS that the clinics inside but I have been able to replace everything except the machine and the power supply though them, and I replaced the power supply through amazon.
I got mad at the local supplier, my insurance pays almost nothing for the machine. I had one that kept quitting on me in the middle of the night several times. I contacted them and they said I needed a prescription from the Dr that initially prescribed it, I called the sleep center and they said I had to do another sleep study. I said no way was I doing that misery again. i had an appt with my endocrinologist and i told him the problem and he was able to call me in a prescription. When My last one suddenly quit, I was told it might be the power cord and it might not. Now it takes weeks to get supplies from the normal supplier so I convinced them to send me a new machine that i was paying for out of pocket anyway and in the meantime I ordered a power supply overnight from Amazon. Power supply worked and now Ihave a back upfor when this one inevitably craps out.
Additonaly, my pulmonologist is in a practise that includes a sleep center. He set me up to see that doctor who told me my machine was set perfectly so if I have any further problems I have someone differnt to see. I have a love /hate relationship with my CPAP. I cant sleep without it and they are a pain in the wallet.
Yesterday evening, the electricity was out in my area, including all of the fast food places between work and home. On the up side, the electricity was on when I got home. On the down side, it kept going out for five or ten minutes every few hours. CPAPs don’t work very well with no electricity.
The shit’s getting thicker with this fucking grant report and application. I got word that the $30k they gave us last year specifically for direct services was never spent down - or at least it wasn’t tracked when spent down. And the service numbers dashboard I was sent by the QA Director doesn’t even match the much larger service numbers reported by individual programs in the same fucking report so I’ve gotta create my own fucking spreadsheet with the correct numbers otherwise I’d be reporting a 75% decline in individuals served. The amount of extra work this creates for me is not inconsiderable.
The problem with the fact we didn’t spend their direct service funds is that this year’s application has to be either a request for more direct service funds with a very clear justification for needing more, or basically prostrating ourselves for admin support, which is an uncomfortable road I’d rather not go down.
This whole thing has turned into a fucking nightmare. This funder has always been a nightmare. They are nice people but they feel the need to put pressure on every pain point you have so that every meeting is emotionally exhausting and now they want me to write an emotionally exhausting application. She said, “You will have to be much more vulnerable than you are normally comfortable being with a funder.” I wanted to report on all of our very real progress, but instead we are showing our whole ass here. I’m so pissed about this. Six months ago I did a check-in to ensure we were spending down the grant which isn’t even technically my responsibility.
I’m so fucking tired of people not giving a shit about my priorities. That’s exactly what this feels like.
That was my experience going from an overworked, under-appreciated environment where every day was a crisis; to a job where I had competent co-workers and minimal supervision.
.
I also went from billing 60-80 hrs/week to a maximum of 40 (if you got done sooner, you were done for the day).
Same with me. My job feels easy most of the time but it’s not, it’s just that previous jobs were nightmares where I was juggling what should have been done by multiple people all by myself, and bosses took advantage of me willing to do anything anyone asked even if it was unreasonable.
I got it again this morning and I was going to string him along but I didn’t think he wasn’t smart enough to keep up. Full text of conversation:
Me: Hello? Hello? … … … Hello?
Them: ‘Ello dis is officer Pete Florez of the Office of Border and Security.
Me: Of course it is. Howya doin’ Pete?
Them: I am fine, and how are you.
Me: Fabulous, Pete. What’s up?
Them: Um … why … … … … (long pause as I assume he was going over his script)
Me: Okay, fuck this, Pete. Talk to you later.
I simply don’t answer any call from a number I don’t recognize. In the rare case that it’s something legitimate, there will be a message. My service provider actually has a cute feature where the text part of the caller ID will sometimes read “Likely Spam”, but it’s totally redundant since it’s not a call I’m going to pick up anyway.
I got in trouble with that policy. The hospital’s phone number has started coming up as a random number (presumably, the number of the individual who’s calling). Even calls from the same department are different, depending on who places the call. And there’s no Caller ID, or it’s listed as “Genvieve Jablonsky”. Finally, they left a voice mail: “This is the Pica Clinic at Brobdingnagia Hospital. We’ve been trying for a week to contact you regarding an appointment of yours that we’ve moved up to today.”
I had an hour to get to the hospital, or wait two months.
My iPhone is set up to send any call from a number not in my contacts straight to voicemail. I love it, though it won’t work for some people. If I leave my car at my mechanic’s I have his number in my contacts. If I expect a call from someone not in my contacts I proactively mention this and ask for a number.
Every single call I get from a medical source is like this; my cardiologist’s office has 11 different phone numbers, for example. So, if the number is a local one I have to answer it if I want to get medical messages, since some/many don’t leave messages (due to “privacy issues”). Luckily the majority of my spam calls are from out of the area, plus my phone provider does a good job of marking “spam” and “marketing” calls so I can ignore those. Sucks though.
I’ve been representing this guy for a while now. He’s 29, but kind of a kid; he’s always been sickly (I think he was born without a colon, or something), and despite drug problems, he’s a nice, gentle soul. His mom baby’s him, but she hired me because I was sympathetic to her concerns about his health while he was first in jail without a bond.
He’s been doing well. We had just set a hearing for him to get off probation. He was upbeat about getting on with his life.
His mom left me a voicemail this morning asking me to call. She sounded distressed.
Shit, I thought. He got arrested again.
Nope.
She found him dead in his apartment last night.
And so I spent some of this morning crying with her on the phone.
“They took him! They took him to cut him up? Why did they have to do that? My son is already dead. Why didn’t they leave him with me? What am I supposed to do about his apartment or his car? I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to do!”