This past week has been hell, but that’s not the general vibe here. I attribute the vast majority of my stress to Always Late, who I’ve been emailing all fucking week.
I texted her today about the urgency of the situation and she replied, “I’ll do my best.”
You’ll do your best? For our most important general operations funder, you’ll do your fucking best? It’s not like I just asked for these things today.
In the meantime I’m trying to piece together the data I requested from her using the board summary report, but if I don’t get these things from her, it will be an incomplete application and probably inaccurate, and this funder is such a stickler, they always hit back with additional questions. There is nothing about this application that won’t be scrutinized.
Now what I’m trying to do is take ownership of these reports so I’m not dependent on this person to get them. I need to learn to pull them myself. This is as far as I can tell the best solution.
And I have a fucking cold, now, and I’m really pretty goddamn sick. So I’ll be working on this a few hours a day for the next few days because I couldn’t get through a full day today. I have wanted nothing more than to spend time with my son but I’ve just been a mess this week.
Last September I had an appointment with my neurologist to discuss my sleep apnea. In addition to setting me up for a sleep study he said that because my CPAP is showing I’m having leakage problems he’s prescribing a change in my mask, which he would be sending to my supplier. So when I ordered new supplies the next week, they replaced my old mask with the new one. When I started trying to use the new mask I had a lot of trouble adjusting to it; the headpiece was completely different from the old one and the mask didn’t fit the same way.
So a few weeks ago I had the sleep study, and the Friday before last I saw my neurologist to discuss the results. I mentioned the problems I was having using the new mask, and he said that if it was giving me so much trouble I could switch back to my old one. In September he had implied that I had no choice but to switch masks, and now he was saying that it was totally up to me what style of mask I used.
Of course, the week before I had put in an order for new supplies, so it will be three months before I can order new masks and go back to being able to be comfortable when I sleep.
I’m really sorry. My uncle died when he was 30 of a drug overdose. I had a very complicated (overwhelmingly negative) relationship with him, he was an ass and we were just starting to maybe possibly get along when he died. Because we grew up together, it was like losing an older brother I hated. But I’m close to my grandmother, and I was there with her in the aftermath of his death (I was 25.) It’s so hard to just be present for that kind of suffering. I did my best. I felt so inadequate. I think that’s part of the experience.
Lord. My ex had a friend who always accompanied him to the dinners. We say hi in text sometimes. I told him I was glad not to see ex at the dinners, as hes recuperating from a stroke, and friend said ex would throw a salad at me if we dont get along.
Puppies are hard. Multiple puppies at once when I already have a very high-needs dog at home… is REALLY hard. I got myself into this entirely voluntarily and it is completely my fault that I’m in this situation and I have no right to complain.
And they are very cute and very sweet. And they are safe and that’s he important thing.
But… Jesus Haploid Christ. if I ever decide to do anything like this again, someone slap some sense into me and consider having me committed.
During the day, all the ones that other people have taken home to foster get to come back and hang out in a pen my (tiny) office while I try to work and one of my co-workers commented that it’s very much like having toddlers- when they’re asleep, you look at them and think, “What angels! They’re the sweetest things ever to exist! Having puppies is wonderful. This is totally doable.” … But then they wake up. And it’s total, utter chaos, and you think “what the hell have I gotten myself into? I am never doing this again.”
It is, as you say, just temporary. And, with puppies, temporary in a pretty predictable way. I don’t expect them to wait long once they’re ready for adoption. Second shots should be on Saturday and I’m not sure when their neuter will be, but definitely sometime this month and hopefully not too long.
Also, bless them, they reliably sleep through the night. I put them to bed at 8, they fussed just a little and will fuss a little more here and there if they hear me moving around, but they don’t cry all night or wake me up. And they can be safely left alone (in crates) for long enough to run basic errands and such. And they are learning really fast, so things are easier even now than they were this time last week.
I hate to interrupt Puppiness, but can I just throw in a random mini-rant?
I have a church friend that I’m on a committee with, and go on mission trips with, and build Habitat houses with… well, I found out HE’S AN Al.
No, not Artificial Intelligence. But that’s what every email from church looks like: “We need to use Al on this project.” “I’ll be editing the press release with Al.” “For those who don’t trust Al, you need to get over that.”
Poor Al… which is short for Albert. He’s always enjoyed the fact that his name looks like A1… but this new “Pseudo-Homonym” is awkward.
He can always adopt “Albert” as his preferred (texted) moniker. I understand if he has the attitude that Artificial Intelligence is the no-talent ass-clown (so it should be the one who has to change), but whaddayugonnado?
I have the tiniest of minirants - I added too much water to my overnight oats. This ratio usually works but I think I grabbed the wrong measuring cup and added a cup and a half when I meant to add a cup. I’m going to add more oats to the containers already in the fridge. But maybe I’ll end up in an endless cycle with an ever growing batch of oatmeal.
I think I finally figured out how to stick to our grocery budget. The first three weeks of the month when my husband goes to the grocery store are a free-for-all. The last week of the month, I order online for pickup/delivery so I can control exactly how much I’m spending and make choices according to how much is left in the budget. Actually we did pretty good this month. I mean our bills are still outrageous but at least we’re not going over. My husband agreed to this compromise. Like me, he doesn’t love the plastic bag situation (we usually bring our own bags), but we can at least recycle them at the store.
Oh, you can complain all you want! This here’s mini-rants! I think it’s funny how some people impose limits on what you are and aren’t supposed to complain about. “Oh, you made a choice to have kids/puppies/kittens, you shouldn’t complain.” Really? Have all ya’ll never made a choice and then complained about it? Anyone who says they haven’t is a liar. To complain is human.
My chief complaint of the day is that I miss my kid like fucking mad. I was sick all weekend, and busy the week before that, so we’ve had very limited play time. And today I have a lot to get done and may miss out on playtime with him yet again. We should get things square tomorrow. I wish I had more energy for him. I’m going to work on that too. I have blocked certain apps on my phone between the hours of 3pm and 7pm weekdays, peak Wee Weasel time, because I am tired of being distracted all the time when I’m with him.
This is a rewrite? of an old rant: I’m again in the I’ve got X model of an appliance that even the official manufacturer website does not recognize the model number. I need a part for my dishwasher. It doesn’t run right now. I’ve got 11 living in this house people and I’m virtually the only one who does dishes. I NEED my dishwasher damn it. I bought a part that I thought would fit/work. It installed alright, but of course, it doesn’t fix the problem. I’m sooo disgusted. I washed dishes all damn day yesterday. Grrr! Why is it sooo hard to find a stupid part?
Sounds like you need troubleshooting, and it might need a service call (which wouldn’t be cheap). What can you tell us about the dishwasher, its symptoms, and what you’ve already tried?
