Hi, interesting forum ! I’ll enjoy this forum and discussions.
Greetings !!
So what’s with the name?
We’ll let you settle in a bit before we begin your initiation.
The giant squid can be a little – offputting.
I’ll have you know that this forum is unabashedly pro-kidney. Tread lightly.
Ok, that’s long enough. Git 'em, boys.
Hello antinephritic. Be welcome. Enjoy your stay. 
Yee haw!
Wait a minute – Who took the Vaseline and the pogo stick? How are we supposed to do a proper initiation without the Vaseline and the pogo stick? antinephritic, bear with us for a sec.
Somebody fetch the goat
You misspelled felch.
Maybe he doesn’t like jade.
Just make sure the squids are fitted with protectives on each tentacle. We don’t want a repeat of what happened last time.
Oh yeah, and welcome to the Dope: Where Everyone Is Right, Even When They’re Wrong[sup]TM[/sup]
Welcome to the Dope, and ignore those buffoons. Here, have a seat in Room #3 and relax. Just hang out and wait, the initiation will be over before you realize it.
Welcome aboard the board for the rarely bored. You should be aware of the following unwritten rules:
- If you post a thread about small mammals kept as pets, pictures are expected.
- Pie is quite popular.
- Once, for twenty minutes, in the 60s, while listening to Rio by Duran Duran, we nuked something from orbit with a 1920’s Style Death Ray, because we thought Opal said Hi. Or something like that.
Welcome. You are free to ask stupid questions, just try to wade through the snark if you do; somebody will actually try to answer.
(Oak, you forgot to mention the thing about Hal.)
No, no, there was a goat felching reference… close enough.
As long as no one tips our new member off to the vat of lime Jell-O, we’ll be fine.
Oops, did I type that out loud? 
Welcome, antinephritic. Enjoy your stay!
(smiles an insincere smile whilst slipping on latex gloves and laying out the instruments)
Welcome to the SDMB!
Now, just relax. We need to adjust these straps a little…
Regards,
Shodan
I thought we agreed never to talk about that again.
But as long as you brought it up – did anyone remember to swing by the trauma ward this week?
Glad you’re here. We could have used you when we were trying to ban that pronephritic guy last week.
The release of pure energy would probably have killed the hamster.