That’s how it sounded to me when I read the OP, as the apologia of a “self-made man.” That’s why I was a bit puzzled why people were attributing mommy issues to the OPer – you wouldn’t have to be the mother of a person who said that to react badly to it if that’s how you interpret it.
The former definition makes more sense though, since we do have plenty of non-illusory support and aren’t alone. “No man is an island”, to counter with another quote.
This seems to fall pretty firmly in the “sounds deep but doesn’t hold up if you think about it” category.
Not necessarily. Even loving, supporting people can say or do things that make you realize they have no idea what you are going through and don’t understand you, at least now and then. My mother once asked me what on earth I had to be depressed about, when that wasn’t the point at all. Knowing that sometimes you absolutely must only rely on yourself isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
You can’t rely on yourself more than you can rely on others. Alone, you are weak; individuals are near helpless. That’s why society exists in the first place. People are taught individualism because it makes them easy prey for the rich and powerful, not because it’s a good idea. And on top of that people can be sick or injured or just screw up.
Relying on yourself isn’t a good thing; it just means you’ve been reduced to hanging by your fingertips, and have to hope that no one wanders by who is inclined to stomp on them instead of giving you a hand up.
"We come into this world naked, covered in our own blood, screaming in terror - and it doesn’t have to stop there if you know how to live right”
― Dana Gould
“I want to leave the world the way I came into it; naked, screaming and covered in someone else’s blood.”
I just read a fascinating article in the New Yorker about how the bacterial that live inside us is far more beneficial than we think. In utero we are in a sterile environment, but during birth we pick up tons of bacteria from the vagina. So we don’t come into this world alone - we’re accompanied by billions of bacteria.
The article said that babies born through Caesarean deliveries often have more health problems in life, perhaps because they don’t pick up these germs.
Thank you.
When I’ve heard it from people in passing it is amusing.
When the man you love says it to you it feels like a slap in the face.
Uh, that is what my mother did with me. At any rate, I think when people talk about being alone they mean that no matter how many people are with you, they’re not “in” you. They are not experiencing the same thing you are no matter how much they may want to commiserate.
Seems like it’s only a positive thing if you’re already so depressed that something slightly less depressing is better. It doesn’t make sense as comfort unless a lot of shitty things have happened to you, and no one is around to help you through it.
And, yeah, saying it to someone you supposedly love is a pretty big slap in the face, just like any other statement that you are all alone in the world would be. What other purpose can you divine in telling someone this? Not suggesting it as something for you to believe, but as something the speaker believes?
That’s how some mothers are.
Sorry, I am confused here. For example, if I hang out alone or I feel lonely or something, should I blame myself?
No
What I meant was if you are going to go around with the attitude of I don’t need or want anybody in my life, and pushing people away, then don’t be upset if you end up alone.
Relationships come and go, even including family ones.
But when you face death, you face it on your own, no matter who else is in the room with you.
The “alone” here doesn’t mean with nobody beside you. It means nobody taking part with you. Like people who swim across the Atlantic solo - they’re not really alone, you know? If someone says sorry at a funeral, do you say, “What are you sorry for? You didn’t kill them”?