Man I so much want to gloat. I want to jump up and down and cheer. But I can’t. I don’t even know how to bring this up with the boys. A little history can be found here and here, there’s more here somewhere but I don’t want to overtax the hamsters. Today, I got subpoenaed, who’d have thought I’d be glad to get a subpoena? Well almost glad anyway, she’s being prosecuted for Welfare Fraud. Unfortunately it means I’ll also be testifying against her, and I’m really not looking forward to it. Since so many here knew about the situation, this is just for closure.
I hope they nail her for it, and that it’s as low-stress as possible for you and the boys. I remember the troubles you had with her without even having to look up the threads.
Dear Stuffy,
I just now found my own pitting – which is almost a month old! I probably wouldn’t have responded in the pitting thread itself, but I am glad that I have read it so that I can make amends.
In rereading what I wrote to you, I can see why it was so hurtful. And for that I am truly sorry. If I had know you well enough, I would never have assumed that you spoke ill of your children’s mother in their presence. But that is exactly the assumption that I made. That was very insensitive of me. Please forgive me.
As I said before, my father was the nurturing parent for me. I very much support equal consideration for fathers in custody hearings. Your situation has been outrageous.
Now will you be able to get full and permanent custody? Isn’t welfare fraud a federal crime? Will you be able to take the children out of state?
You mentioned the possibility of living in a couple of other places and one of them is Ashville, N.C. It is a haven of sanity, Stuffy. It is quiet and beautiful and cultured. My husband and I have talked about how much we would like to live there if it wouldn’t take us far from family. The Annual Scottish Games are nearby on Grandfather Mountain near Boone, N.C. and there’s skiing. A long day’s drive gets you to the fantastic Outer Banks on the Atlantic.
Again, my apologies for making assumptions, for saying things the way that I did and for hurting you. Believe me, I just didn’t know you. And I regret that your words went unanswered for so long.
Respectfully,
Zoe
Hi Zoe thanks for the apology although I had lost my anger shortly after posting the thread. Still I’m grateful for you words. In answer to your questions:
I got full custody last year after their mother blew off drug treatment again. She has visitation rights as long as she’s with an approved family member (their maternal grandmother is one of them, and she’s offered to host them weekends), though she rarely makes use of it.
I’m not sure if it’s federal or not, I think it’s state because the county administers the grants. But I’m almost sure it’s the county that’s going after her. Further complicating the distinction is that Oakland is the county seat and all three jurisdictions share space in the same building, as far as I know anyway. I have a phone interview with an investigator later today, so I’ll ask him.
I’m still considering moving to Asheville, a lot of that will depend on how my business goes over the next year. If a deal I’m working on now goes through, I may be heading that way as early as this summer. I really loved the place when I was there, and it’s where most of my family lives. The boys are more looking forward to it than I am if that’s possible.
I will check back to see what you learn. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you!