If she truly had a bad week, then be the bigger person and try to be understanding. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat. By all means, make it clear to her that it’s unacceptable how she is treating you, and that in the future she’s going to have to change the way she deals with stress. Learning how to fight fairly is something that some people have to learn, especially if she grew up in a household where silent treatments and slamming doors was the norm. The question you have to ask yourself is: Is she worth it?
When I met my spouse-to-be, one of the things I quickly fell in love with was his ability to fight fair. If he was mad at me, he told me. If I was acting unreasonable, he told me. It took many months, even years, for me to learn that I didn’t have to scream or play games or manipulate him when we fought. I simply needed to communicate. And sometimes that was “Please leave me alone. I’m grumpy and need to unwind.”
So don’t go to her office party if you don’t want to, but realize that punishing her in this way can lead to a seriously un-fun game of one-upmanship. One day it’s her office party, the next it’s dinner at your folks. Using embarrassment as a tool to control people is a bad way of “winning.” Instead of helping, you’re adding to the stress on the relationship.
And, to be honest, if my boyfriend decided not to go to a party with me after I had a really crappy week, then I’d have to seriously ask myself: Is he worth it?