No, I'm not going to your office's Christmas party, my love.

You’ve been an ass all week and it’s only Wednesday! I’m sorry you got a lame assignment at work, but saying I wasn’t sympathetic enough and saying you didn’t want to talk to me anymore and storming off- WAS NOT an appropriate response for anyone over the age of 5.

You are going to have to learn that things you do have repercusions and I can’t always be the one to make the first move because the first move always has to be me apologizing for whatever slight you’ve percieved.

We’ve shared about 6 sentences since Monday. It’s galling that you think I’m still going to take time off from work to go to your office’s Christmas party.

I’ve checked out until you are ready to apologize.

Way to fuck up Christmas.

Eh, don’t let this ruin your Christmas. Doesn’t sound like she’s worth it.

And the next entry in “Stressed-out holiday break-ups” is…

Now would be a good time to throw her a note stating that you will not be going instead of playing passive-aggressive with her.

I say show up - embarassingly drunk. That’ll teach 'er.

Already told her that I wasn’t going to go.

Apologizing for each and every imagined slight is indeed a bad road to go down. Sounds like you’re sticking up for yourself. Good job.

Now you can look forward to 1. make-up sex, 2. Christmas sex, and 3. post-Christmas party drunk sex.

The trifecta!

You have the power to unfuck it. So instead of playing out this little “I’m gonna teach you a lesson” drama, suck it up and go to the party.

Unless you want to piss away your relationship. In which case, carry on.

Zoe: “Remember that sex we were planning on having ever again?”

Your choices:

  1. Say you’re sorry
  2. Punt the bitch
  3. Have a crap relationship
  4. Talk about it and work things out

Not knowing your situation or SO, I make no recommendation as to the best choice.

Choose your battles, be the sane one, drop it.

I bet it’s just the pregnancy hormones talking.

What exactly is your relationship? Are you married or just dating? How willing are you to just walk away?

If she truly had a bad week, then be the bigger person and try to be understanding. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat. By all means, make it clear to her that it’s unacceptable how she is treating you, and that in the future she’s going to have to change the way she deals with stress. Learning how to fight fairly is something that some people have to learn, especially if she grew up in a household where silent treatments and slamming doors was the norm. The question you have to ask yourself is: Is she worth it?

When I met my spouse-to-be, one of the things I quickly fell in love with was his ability to fight fair. If he was mad at me, he told me. If I was acting unreasonable, he told me. It took many months, even years, for me to learn that I didn’t have to scream or play games or manipulate him when we fought. I simply needed to communicate. And sometimes that was “Please leave me alone. I’m grumpy and need to unwind.”

So don’t go to her office party if you don’t want to, but realize that punishing her in this way can lead to a seriously un-fun game of one-upmanship. One day it’s her office party, the next it’s dinner at your folks. Using embarrassment as a tool to control people is a bad way of “winning.” Instead of helping, you’re adding to the stress on the relationship.

And, to be honest, if my boyfriend decided not to go to a party with me after I had a really crappy week, then I’d have to seriously ask myself: Is he worth it?

Checking out until she apologizes sounds like something I’d only do if I were willing to lose this relationship. You should NOT have to be the only one who ever apologizes, and you’re NOT always wrong (assuming you’re a man) - that old saw about the woman is always right is garbage, and mature women don’t (shouldn’t?) buy into it, but on the other hand, as Dr. Phil says, do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? You might have to give her some leeway when she’s under great stress, and expect her to give you the same courtesy. If it’s always a one-way street, then you need to decide if that’s a relationship you’re willing to continue.

Q: Would dumping her ass after, so she is dateless on New Years, be the ‘bonus number’…?

This guy would tell you, don’t put up with her shit-test, you need to be the alpha male, put her in her place.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

Stories like this always being to mind the song Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow. The main lyric for those who haven’t heard it is “Are you strong enough to be my man?”

I always hear the translation when it’s on the radio though. Do you want in my pants enough to put up with my shit?

That said, relationships are a series of compromises, so choose the battles that are worth fighting. And as PunditLisa said, it’s all about the communication.

Ok, I think you’ve used up your quota for that joke.