Yup. I’ve been Doping for two years now. Two whole years. Yup.
In two years, have I learned anything? Uhhhh… nope. Not a thing, thanks for playing and have a muffin. I have made a couple of friends around here. A good four or five of you. Maybe four or five. Three. Three good Doper friends. Fight it out amongst yourselves as to who my friends are.
OK, I kid. I’m a kidder. I gots lots of Doper friends. Lots and lots. If you think I’m talking about you when I say I have a lot of Doper friends, odds are you’re right. (Even you. You know who you are.) You can tell I have a bunch of Doper friends from my e-mail. I’m always getting e-mail from my Doper friends. Everyday I get a good scad of e-mail from my Doper friends. Usually it’s along the lines of:
My Dearest Rue,
You are the most wonderful poster on the Boards. Knowing you are around somewhere makes my day that much brighter. You’re like a glowing piece of the sun in my otherwise drab, cold day. Because I want you to be my friend I’m sending you pictures of me.
Your best friend ever,
(I’m not saying who sends me these e-mails. It could embarrass them.)
Then there’s four or five pictures attached. They make me think of things like “bendy” and “acrobatic” usually. Sometimes they are all arty and have soft focus and dramatic lighting, but usually the word “bendy” pops into my head. I just wish I could get girls to send me pictures like this.
Another trend in my e-mails from you, my fellow Dopers is that you all want to be more like me. Since I’m just here to help, I threw together a list. It’s a reading list. The Rue DeDay Reading List to Mold Your Brain Into a Shape More Like Mine. It’s even better than the Oprah reading list. Really, it is. It has to be better because these are all my books. Not like books I wrote personally, but books I have on my personal bookshelves. (Since it’s books I have myself, I couldn’t exclude that one book I got from the library that one time that was a History of the Toilet. Really, I got a toilet history book from the library one time. I forget what the actual name of the book was and even who wrote it, but really how many toilet history books are there?) So here goes,
The Rue DeDay Reading List to Mold Your Brain Into a Shape More Like Mine
[li]The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams[/li][li]The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - (non-ibid) Douglas Adams[/li][li]Big Trouble - Dave Barry[/li][li]Against a Dark Background - Iain M. Banks[/li][li]Where is Joe Merchant? - Jimmy Buffett[/li][li]The Warrior’s Apprentice - Lois McMaster Bujold[/li][li]The Big Sleep - (Everybody Loves) Raymond Chandler [/li][li]Moonlight and Vines - Charles deLint[/li][li]Buddy Holly is Alive and Well on Ganymede - Bradley Denton (just because of the title, it being pretty good is just gravy)[/li][li]Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Philip K. Dick[/li][li]American Gods - Neil Gaiman[/li][li]Good Omens - Neil Gaimon and Terry Pratchett[/li][li]Neverwhere - Neil Gaimon[/li][li]Neuromancer - William Gibson[/li][li]Shadows Fall - Simon R. Green[/li][li]The Maltese Falcon - Dashiell Hammett (more sex than the movie!)[/li][li]Friday - Robert A. Heinlein[/li][li]I Will Fear No Evil - Robert A. Heinlein (more sex than The Maltese Falcon!)[/li][li]Job: A Comedy of Justice - Robert A. Heinlein[/li][li]The Moon is a Harsh Mistress - Robert A. Heinlein[/li][li]Starship Troopers - Robert A. Heinlein[/li][li]Stranger in a Strange Land - Robert A. Heinlein[/li][li]Catch-22 - Joseph Heller[/li][li]Batman: The Dark Knight Returns - Frank Miller[/li][li]The Fifth Elephant - Terry Pratchett[/li][li]Hogfather - Terry Pratchett[/li][li]Men at Arms - Terry Pratchett[/li][li]The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales - Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith[/li][li]Where the Wild Things Are - Maurice Sendak[/li][li]The Goblin Reservation - Clifford D. Simak[/li][li]Hyperion - Dan Simmons[/li][li]The Fall of Hyperion - Dan Simmons[/li][li]The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien[/li][li]The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien[/li][li]Superheros - Edited by John Varley and Ricia Mainhardt[/li][li]20,000 Leagues Under the Sea - Jules Verne[/li][li]All the “Calvin and Hobbes” compilations - Bill Watterson[/li][/ul]
(Of course you should read all the Dougie Adams, Loie Bujold, Bob Heinlein and Terry Pratchett (even though I’m not so cool as to call him “Pterry”) you can. Sometimes you get busy though and these should get you started.)
Along with all those books, there’s also a play list of music you can listen to. You could listen as you read, but you don’t really have to. It’s not like it’s a rule or anything. (And I just have the album I have for each version of the song. You don’t have to have the same album, but to really be authentic you should.)(And by “album” I mean “CD”.)
[li]Ants Marching - The Dave Matthews Band - Under the Table and Dreaming[/li][li]Amnesia - Chumbawamba - Tubthumper[/li][li]Birdhouse In Your Soul - They Might Be Giants - Flood[/li][li]Bonnie & Slyde - Béla Fleck and the Flecktones - UFO Tofu[/li][li]Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison - Bang Masters[/li][li]Chanson Pour Les Petits Enfants - Jimmy Buffett - Volcano[/li][li]Closer To Free - Bodeans - Go Slow Down[/li][li]Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen - Greatest Hits[/li][li]Diamond As Big As The Ritz - Jimmy Buffett - Barometer Soup[/li][li]Domino - Van Morrison - His Band and Street Choir[/li][li]Galaxy Song - Monty Python - Monty Python Sings[/li][li]God Is A Real Estate Developer - Michelle Shocked - Captain Swing[/li][li]Good Riddance - Green Day - Nimrod[/li][li]I Don’t Want To Live On The Moon - Shawn Colvin and Ernie - Elmopalooza![/li][li]I’m Different - Randy Newman - Trouble In Paradise[/li][li]The Impression That I Get - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Let’s Face It[/li][li]I’ll Tell Me Ma - Van Morrison and the Chieftains - Irish Heartbeat[/li][li]It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M. - Document[/li][li]Jump Jive an’ Wail - The Brian Setzer Orchestra - The Dirty Boogie[/li][li]Linus and Lucy - Vince Guaraldi Trio - A Charlie Brown Christmas[/li][li]Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles - Seargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band[/li][li]The Middle - Jimmy Eat World - Jimmy Eat World[/li][li]My Parties - Dire Straits - On Every Street[/li][li]Name - The Goo Goo Dolls - A Boy Named Goo[/li][li]Nothin On Me - Shawn Colvin - A Few Small Repairs[/li][li]On The Greener Side - Michelle Shocked - Captain Swing[/li][li]Pico De Gallo - Trout Fishing in America - Big Trouble[/li][li]Real Real Gone - Van Morrison - Enlightenment[/li][li]Run-Around - Blues Traveler - Four[/li][li]Slide - The Goo Goo Dolls - Dizzy Up The Girl[/li][li]Sultans Of Swing - Dire Straits - Dire Straits[/li][li]Tubthumping - Chumbawamba - Tubthumper[/li][li]Werewolves Of London - Warren Zevon - A Quiet Normal Life[/li][li]What A Wonderful World - Louis Armstrong - What A Wonderful World[/li][li]Women And Men - They Might Be Giants - Flood[/li][li]Yakko’s Universe - Animaniacs - Yakko’s World[/li][/ul]
Since you’re my friends and all I’d just be fascinated to hear all about your favorite books and music. Really. Almost as much as I’d like to see your bendy pictures.