"No-Talent Show" ideas

I want to enter a “No-Talent Show,” but I have no idea what my “no talent” should be. It has to be something very funny and can be any length (probably no more than a few minutes). If there’s a costume involved, it has to be something very simple. And it can’t make a mess.

Anyone have any ideas?

Interpretive dance. If music is allowed, don’t use it. Sing your own song, preferably one you made up yourself.

Or even just hum your tune.

I’d say you can’t go wrong with some hambone.

I once wrote an unproduced script about a superhero named “Jizzman”. Kind of like Spiderman but with a Super-capable penis, sperm, and testicles.

Finally, masturbation for Good rather than Evil!

You have my permission to adapt this concept to your requirements.

Come to think of it, you could do an interpretive dance called “Jizzman” – possibly to the music of Carol King’s “Jazzman”.

BTW, I puctured the suit as a giant white sperm.

Narrative mime.

Who doesn’t like mime? And people who don’t get it will certainly appreciate your explaining as you go along.

No, mimed narrative!

Or would that be deemed offensive by sign language interpreters?

There’s always “NEWS FOR THE HARD OF HEARING!.”