I’m going to be driving around with an expired inspection sticker for two days due to my own sheer idiocy.
I had grilled chicken, baked beans, potato salad and garlic bread for dinner last night. It was nice out so we ate outside. But we used plates, we didn’t just put our food on the grass and eat like that. That might be fun though.
Do you ever screech to a stop at a green light to atone for the fact that you just ran a red light at the previous intersection? If so, you’re weird.
I’m glad the county guy finally came and picked up that dead armadillo that was in the road for three days. Dead armadillos are not pretty to look at.
I hate it when you take a car to the mechanic for $700 worth of service, and they fail to perform the 1 thing on the list you needed the most, like a brake job. At least, when they forgot to do the brake job, they also forgot to charge me for it, so it only cost me $500.
Camouflage outfits are almost always all sorts of colors so it looks like you’re in the woods or in the desert. I’d like to see them in all blue and white so when you’re walking along people can’t see you because you look like the sky.
A friend’s golden lab jumped in my pool Friday evening. Then she (the dog) got out of the pool and shook herself off and got everybody around her all wet. That was funny.
My cat’s breath smells like cat food.
How can we get over an inch of rain and the fountain still needs water?
My vacation starts Saturday. These might just be the longest five working days I’ve ever experienced…
Let’s just say you’re a glassblower by profession and that you’re in the midst of a special project to make a glass harmonica for a street musician and you’ve seen the movie The Iron Mistress where James Black uses a meteorite to improve the steel he used to make Jim Bowie’s knife, and that you want to do something equally special to infuse magic into this instrument you’re making. Do you whistle while you work, or not?
The thunder rolls down the valley, until it hits the pins, resulting in D’OH! A seven/ten split! :smack:
In the event of an emergency, press every button except that one.
Next time they send a mission to Mars, I’d like them to take a lot of kudzu and see if it will grow there. If so, I bet it wouldn’t take too long to cover the planet and help create an atmosphere. Then in another hundred years or so we could take some telephone poles up there and the kudzu could climb them.
I just got back from a little vacation to Non Secuador. It was nice, but my English-Nonsecuadorian phrasebook wasn’t much help. Every time I’d ask a hotel desk clerk “Do you have a room for the night?” he or she would say, “I don’t think the tomato is a pro or con issue.”
Getting back to the OP, how much?
I having grilled chicken left over from last night’s supper for supper tonight. I’m going to slice it up and put it on top of a salad. I think I’ll have some ranch dressing, unless I decide to use the Greek dressing. That’s salad dressing, not an actual person from Greece getting dressed on my salad. Though if he’s a cute Greek I probably wouldn’t mind him dressing on my salad.
I’m rude and grim when I go all-in.
I saw a baby lizard on my back porch yesterday.
You see that button? DON’T TOUCH IT! it’s the history eraser button you fool, push tat button, and we’ll be up to our necks in sushi…MMMM…sushi, the breakfast of champion spark plugs…