I’m trying to recall my very first thought and it gets all muddied up with things having to do with bright lights and moving objects and funny noises. It can’t have been very important or else I’d remember it better. I don’t think it had much to do with a previous lifetime, or being some other critter before. But maybe you aren’t supposed to remember stuff like that. It’s a big secret. Anyway, I know it wasn’t about rockets.
It’s already August and we haven’t taken a vacation. Not even a long weekend. Sometimes I think I’m not being fair to my daughter but then I think, there must have been summers we didn’t go on vacation when I was a kid and I don’t remember it as being that traumatic.
We keep hearing about the “five senses” a lot. Sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch. That’s the ones we hear so much about. But there’s also the sense of fair play, and duty, rhythm, direction, and others like “God gave a billy goat.”
Where are the organs for those other senses located?
speaking of biscuits… have you seen bittersweet’s webpage?
Sidelines are more than just to stand on. Many people have them to keep from having to work at the same place all the time. And the cheerleaders use them to keep from getting trampled, but that doesn’t always work. Just ask those photographers who try to get the real action shots. And those TV guys who like to get closeup shots of the cheerleaders.
So just be ready the next time somebody sneaks up behind you and says, “Hey, what sideline are you on?”
Because I said so!
The Count of Monte Cristo. If they had made that the Count of Monte Carlo it would have been easier to relate to. That way when they closed up the casino at night they could ask the guy who does the counting and he would know pretty much to the penny. But does Monte Cristo even have a casino? Fot that matter where is it? And is it really Monte Crisco? That would sure be a lot of lard.
Let’s make a deal.
Charlie Babbit squeezed and pulled and hurt my neck.
Except for blueberries, which are more like purple than blue, I don’t eat all that much blue food. Those blue drinks I see never appeal to me all that much, but the blue icing on cakes always seems attractive. And I don’t mind the blue M&M’s, either.
I just wonder if blue has a bad name for food in general. Like if you cut into a watermelon and it was blue would you eat it? Or if the inside of an orange was blue would you start calling it a blue?
Must be because your lips turn blue when it’s cold that blue isn’t very appetizing. Or the fact that some anti-freeze is blue. Wonder why that is.
For the love of Og, don’t start this again.
Use sunscreen to prevent skin cancer. But don’t use the kind that smells like coco butter, there are alot better things to smell like and the coco butter smell does nothing to prevent skin cancer.
I guess some people get motion sickness in just about anything that moves. Cars, boats, planes, stagecoaches, escalators.
Is there anything like still sickness? Say you’re moving around a lot and suddenly you decide to stop moving and you get so sick you just slash all over everything. And somebody asks you “what’s wrong?” and you just say “Oh, nothing really. I just got still.”
Probably not good to get that in church. Unless it’s during the sermon. Then you could just leave.
Would you really recognize the back of your hand, if your hands were cut off and mixed with a hundred other severed hands?
the music of Yes… no matter how good it sounds… Is REALLY pretentious.
The Amazon may be a big river but it surely isn’t the funniest one. The Nile isn’t all that funny either. But you really should look at the Tennessee River sometimes. It’s a real hoot. You can ride along in your car and go over a bridge and look down at it and just bust a gut laughing. Not so much at the water itself but just the way the boats and barges and stuff just dawdle along. Like there’s not all that much to do on that river.
I don’t know of any place it goes East. But it goes every other way. And then it just runs out and becomes the Ohio.
Now there’s a dull river. Nothing funny about it.
The new air conditioner in the living room sounds possessed.
I have two bug bites on my toes and they itch like a bleep.
Someone quoted Lewis Black, and someone else quoted Monty Python, I forget who each. Regardless, you both rock.
I hear they’re going to open a hunting season on peacocks at the Memphis Zoo. The herd needs thinning and there are just too many prissy peacocks anyway. They’ll be issuing blowguns and darts at the gate to 5-year-olds only. They’ll have to stand behind a wall that comes up to their noses and then fire their weapon at the peacocks as they priss by. For each kill the kid will get a free ride on a pony, or a popsicle.
I hear that every day. Except for the part about draining the oil before changing the filter. That’s just strange.
The Dun King
It takes fifteen inches of breadsticks for Alice Cooper to wash a lawnmower.
They already have a lot of events in the Olympics where they throw things. Discus, javelin, shot put, hammer, and I guess you can count arrows in the archery part and bullets in the shooting part. I bet they could have a good event with squirting water out of a garden hose. But the fire hose would be a better event. I suspect they’d have to merge that with the gymnasics events thought so there could be judges to take care of the style aspects. You have squirting for distance, and squirting for volume, but I imagine the synchronized team squirting would be a real crowd pleeaser, and it would keep the field nice and moist for the soccer games.