If someone almost never is surprised or indicates surprise, regardless of circumstances, would you consider that to be an attractive trait?
On the one hand, it could indicate that that person is steady, dependable or unflappable, but on the other hand, you do want someone to show surprise if you give them a surprise gift or surprise birthday party, for instance.
To separate by gender - men, what would you think of a woman who never shows surprise, and women, what would you think of a man who never shows surprise?
Not a particularly attractive trait in everyday interaction IMHO (although a useful one in other types of scenario). It comes across as aloof and a bit arrogant, as if you’re above being surprised by the petty actions of other people.
Beats the hell out of the opposite reaction, mind - alarmists who lose their shit at the slightest thing. At least the stoics are calm to be around.
IMHO, I would find it annoying for a person to scream their heads off at everything that catches them by surprise. But then again, I’m a pretty unflappable person and I don’t trust the sincerity emotional expresses that seem over-the-top. Someone who squeals over everything would either come across as phony or insane to me.
However, I don’t think I’d get along with a stony faced robot either.
What would matter more to me is why they act like that.
If they are simply controlling and hiding emotions, taking that to such an extreme would be undesirable. There’s a time for a poker face and a time to be more transparent.
If they just don’t react with screaming excitement, but they are still expressing whatever their genuine reaction is, then I don’t have a problem with it. It’s nice to be able to see surprise on someone’s face, but everyone is different in how they express things.
I know for myself, I tend to be the subdued type. I had to learn to “fake” excitement about things like Christmas presents. It’s not that I don’t like them, I just don’t get excited that way. “I won a billion in the lottery? Are you sure? That’s really cool. I can totally pay my mortgage off now. Should we go down to the bank to sign things, or what’s next?”
Not showing it at all is strange, and it’s certainly not attractive. As others have already said, the opposite is also unappealing.
This is slightly off-topic, but this question also made me think of “surprised” as in “surprised by a fright.” I’m pretty jumpy and easily startled. I’m usually the first person to flinch or react if something sudden occurs, like a loud or strange sound, a peculiar sight, or even an odd tremor. I mention this because most people I know seem to take these things in stride and are not affected by them. I suppose it’s paranoia at its core, but I don’t think that is necessarily an unattractive quality.
At least, I don’t go into drama mode if anything sudden or frightening happens! I’ll just be the first one to duck.
I’d fall hard and fast for a woman who could lift one eyebrow like Spock. I like subtle positive responses to surprise, like the look Hermione gets when Ron says something smart. I can’t tell the difference between fear or anger when someone’s eyes get big.
I am not a jumpy person. I found out years ago that my startle reaction is to freeze and evaluate, not to jump and run. This makes people think I am steady and dependable although I believe I just display my panic differently.
I will almost immediately break out into a delighted grin if the surprise is a pleasant one.