With my ex, years ago, when I was still living at home… so my parents wouldn’t hear us, I put some of my CDs on random and turned up the volume so nobody would hear the bed squeaking. And you know, it very nearly enhanced the mood when, unexpectedly, “The Ride of the Valkyries” came on. I was on top, and I threw my head back and laughed as evilly as I could, and sped things up a little bit. However…
My mother knocked on the (thankfully locked) door and asked me what on earth was going on in there… without breaking stride, I yelled back, “I’m making the bed!”
My younger brother (he was 16 at the time) heard my response from his room across the hallway and burst into sudden huge guffaws. That ended it for me, since my brother and I share the same sense of humour, I realised how odd it must have sounded from the outside. I keeled over laughing.
He still brings it up every now and then… he doesn’t know for certain or care much about what was really going on in my bedroom that day, but he does think “The Ride of the Valkyries” is great music to make your bed to.
You have stairs? Lucky bastard! Little Case sleeps in the next room, and pads in occasionally on silent feet: we’ve never actually been caught in flagrante delicto, but there have been some damn close calls.
Never, by the way, explain to a three year old that Mummy and Daddy are “cuddling”, as he loves “sandwiches”, in which he is hugged between Missus Case and myself: it’s a little awkward trying to explain exactly why Mummy and Daddy are naked, flushed, and hastily covering themselves, and that a sandwich would at this point be inadvisable.
Yes, since last year. It is much easier to keep track of where they are!
We have also had great sucess with The Big Ball Of String.
We leave it out invitingly, temptingly, within reach, and slope off upstairs. This results in a glorious half hour of UTTER silence downstairs, as everything is tied up and looped together. A horrible mess to come down to, but EVERYONE has satisfied looks on their faces!! (Kids are now 8 and 4 and the string is the paper type so it will snap if tugged hard…)
… being told by a partner that he recently had sex with someone else and how much she enjoyed a certain act, the same certain act that I practically had to beg for.
Been there, done that. Little fellow snuck in, climbed on the bed, and gave us both a big hug. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew everybody was happy and feeling loving, and he wanted in on it.
Yes, dog nose/tounge in ass crack is surely going to kill the deal. It’s just so unexpected, and so nasty.
Kids, amen. Mine always traveled in a troop, but sneakily. No matter how quiet we were, if a weekend morning lead to some action, the little ones used ESP to sense it and visit.
But, I offer for you consideration one not mentioned before. On our honeymoon, my loving wife and I went to Williamsburg, VA to stay n the reconstructed city. On the main road. It was really cool. We had been under tons of stress because of the wedding, buying a house, and her losing he job in the middle of it all. We were making up for the release of stress in a big way. Morning comes, and feeling the urge, we started again, paying scant attention to the noises coming from the street. Things were getting really hot and nearing a positive concluion when we realized just how close we were to the Armory as the musket demonstration concluded, sadly we did not.
