I cheat, therefore I win.
I have very strict morals. I only date married men.
I think these are original, but since there’s really nothing new under the sun, you never know. Maybe I stole 'em from the Collective Unconscious or something.
Smile and the world smiles with you.
Snore and you sleep alone.
You can lead a horse to water,
but the blue whale won’t.
Whither thou go’est
send me some money!
People who live in glass houses should never take their clothes off.
If at first you don’t succeed, try shortstop.
It got so crowded, no one went there anymore. –Yogi Berra
If all the girls at Vassar were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised. –Dorothy Parker
Rudolph the communist were arguing about the weather, Rudolph insisting it was rain, his wife insisting it was sleet. In exasperation, Rudolph finally said, “It’s rain, it’s rain. Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
To make an omelet, you gotta break a few legs.
That’s a horse of a different feather.
Fall not in love; it will stick to your face.
It takes a village to mock a child.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m kicking your ass!
-Hank Hill
Never put the horse before Decartes.
Stolen from the PHC show:
When the chips are down, the buffalo’s empty.
One of these happens to be my signature…
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, so please, please, don’t throw sticks and stones.” Gilligan’s Island
“Your simian countenance belies a history unusually rich in species diversity.” Calvin to Moe
“All the kung fu in the world isn’t gonna help when it comes to women.” The Defender
Look at your original post. You indicate that the saying came from Buckaroo Banzai. It didn’t. It is a paraphrase of a line from that movie. If you are going to paraphrase, you should indicate that this is what you are doing. Otherwise, you are misquoting.
It doesn’t matter how many people get it wrong. Majority misinformation doesn’t change the facts.
Here are some of mine that I like to launch at socially inappropriate moments:
A watched boil never pops.
I’d lose my head if it weren’t nailed down.
I think we should immediately start a whole new thread concerning the important Buckaroo Banzai quote thing. It is such an important issue.
To Err is human, to Moo bovine.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers what the universe is for, it will instatntly disappear and be replaced with something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
Like sands through the hourglass of time, these are the days of Burl Ives.
b.
Knowledge breeds ignorance.
If at first you don’t fricasse, fry,fry a hen.
Jesus saves, but Moses invests.
“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”
– Mitch Radcliffe
“We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.”
– Grace Williams
“An expert is someone who knows more and more about less and less, until eventually he knows everything about nothing.”
“I’ve developed a new philosophy . . . I only dread one day at a time.”
-Charlie Brown
“…Really? My village called?”
“If you can read this, flip me over” (Bumper sticker, upside-down, on the back of an SUV)
“Carpe Testiculum!”
Don’t Drive and park, accidents cause lives.
And my very very own:
There may be no I in Team, but there’s a U in Doofus.