it’s Carpe Scrotum!
You can fool all of the people some of the time, and
you can fool some of the people all the time, and
those are good odds.
It’s always darkest just before…if fades to black.
Rome wasn’t burned in a day.
lord what fools these mortals be~who said it?? anyone??
Puck in A Midsummer Night’s Dream (III, ii, 115), (Shakespeare, of course).
There’s also the well-known “Lord, what foods these morsels be” by anon.
When in doubt, always credit Shakespeare.
We have a saying in Germany:
It’s better to have loved and lost than to enter into a land war with Russia in the winter -Spin City
There but for the grace of I goes God.
I’ve always been fond of this one:
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
I love Douglas Adams! See sig.
My signature didn’t appear above. It contained the following:
“It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
“Ask a glass of water.”
A man should live forever or die trying.
-Off the wall in Callahan’s Saloon
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
-George Carlin
With fronds like these, who needs anenomes?
Paraphrased from someone’s sig here on SDMB:
“Power corrupts. Absolute power sounds like a lot of fun!”
If the foo shits, wear it.
It was all done in one swell foop.
never pet a burning dog.
never trust a dog to watch your food.
“Too many cooks, not enough Indians.”
“You have a keen grasp of the obvious.”
“Where eagles fear to tread.”
I added one to my sig file:
(excellent to use when an idiot insults you, at least they think they did)
Hey! I resemble that remark!
-Curly Howard
I plan on living forever - so far so good.
I used to feel sorry for myself because I had no women until I met a man who had no hands.
If you see light at the end of the tunnel, pray it isn’t a train
Insanity is hereditary: you get it from your kids
I owe, i owe, it’s off to work I go
I can’t resist…
[hijack]
and for all you gals out there (young and beautiful like me 
) Rebuttals for pickup lines!
for example,
guy: I know how to please a woman
girl: then please leave me alone
guy: i want to give myself up to you
girl: sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts
Guy: you look like a dream
girl: go back to sleep
Guy: I can tell you want me
girl: yeah, i want you to leave
guy: i’d got through anything for you
girl: lets start with your bank account
guy: your place or mine?
girl: both. you to your place, i to mine
guy: is this seat empty?
girl: yes, and this one will be too if you sit down
guy: haven’t I seen you someplace before?
girl: yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore
[/hijack]
Okay, now that I’ve changed my sig, this post makes no sense whatsoever. (I don’t even remember what my sig used to be!)