Free Tibet, while supplies last.
Guns don’t kill people, kids kill people.
There’s no “I” in team. There’s no “U” in team either. So what the hell are we doing here?
Studies have shown that people who eat peanuts live longer than people who don’t eat.
You’re perverted, twisted, and sick. I like that in a person.
Don’t cross your bridges before they’re hatched in one basket.
Well, that’s the way the cookie bounces.
Thirty days hath September,
April, June and no wonder.
All the rest like peanut butter,
Except for Granny, she drives a Buick.
No man is an Island, but some are waaaay out there.
Once bitten, better get the shots.
Reply to an insult:
My Religion forbids the use of force; please apologize so I don’t have to convert!
On a postcard with a beatiful woman:
Wish You Were Her.
So if you see it anywhere else, it was stolen!
“If a light goes on in an empty room, is anyone illuminated?”
If at first you don’t succeed, cry, cry again
From my mother:
That’s a horse of a different garage
And a classic:
A hard man is good to find
My old friend Gary used to say,
“I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.”
Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is radically cheap.