Or that God is a hen.
Can we practice Barbarianism instead?
That’s going to lead to some confusion with that religion that’s sprung up in France where they worship talking elephants. You know, Babarism.
I’ve heard that there’s also a French sect that worships men with long beards, called Barbeism.
Not to mention the Church of the Streisand. Barbraism.
I’m not going anywhere near Moses. That would put me right in the sights of the Lord of Hosts, and I’m not entirely sure he likes me. In fact, I’m entirely sure he doesn’t. Well, he wouldn’t, only he doesn’t exist, so he neither likes nor dislikes anyone. Anyway, I don’t speak ancient Hebrew, and there was no indoor plumbing back then, so there’s just no way I’m making that trip.
Or the worship of tiny, sexy women with no vaginas: Barbieism.
But surely not the 1989 Coventry City team that went out of the FA Cup to non-league Sutton United, a mere two years after winning the whole competition?
They are Gods too?
Great. They’ll go to Rome and we’ll have the biggest gay catfight since the Athenian Symposium ended in a drunken brawl.
Then they’ll all end up in bed and, once again, Rome will be sacked by the Barbraians.
So you’re a polytheist? Wouldn’t that make you a Pagan?
And of course there’s the shamanistic teachings of Barbiturism. Well, not so much teachings as "whoaaa, maaaan"s. But in a religious way.
This is some seriously funny shit.
But, kanicbird, what if Obama isn’t ruled by demons, but is a demon from Hell himself/? Being born in Hawaii, he couldn’t be found ineligible for office, but humanity would still have let control of the government pass to demonic forces. And maybe we already have!
Isn’t that a far more serious issue? How can we resolve the lingering question over Obama’s demonicity?
Put him on a scale and find out if he weighs as much as a duck?
Make him wear a carrot.
It’s possible, demons do come into the world as people, such as Judas did, though they would not know they were demons, but just have the nature of a demon, again just like Judas.
Also IIRC Hawaii was part of the US when Obama was born, the question if Obama was born in the US or not.
If Obama is a demon, and not born in the US, again the power would shift to heavenly rulers, who may or may not give that authority to Obama (as opposed to use it themselves), it would be their choice if God allows it.
What if he was born in the US but is actually a fish?
Next you’ll be responding to an unexpected attack by an artichoke-wielding assailant by releasing the tiger.
:: Deep breath :: He was unquestionably born in the U.S. The only people who are questioning this are crazy. Do you understand this, and do you understand he has produced both a birth certificate and a newspaper announcement proving he was born in Hawaii?
Build a bridge out him!