NYC Dopers: On behalf of a Doper and a friend

I’m writing this on behalf of Monkey Mule. Who is probably going to be upset at me for doing this, but damn, he needs some help.

He recently went to England to see about his girlfriend . . . that didn’t quite work out, in that way that things do when you start with love and hope and end up yelling at each other.

He has no place to go in England, so he’s returning to NYC . . . no job, no place to stay, nothing lined up yet.

Being in Georgia and having my hands overfull with stuff here, there’s little I can do for him except be as supportive as I can, which does nothing to help him with anything.

Any of you that would have any idea of where to send him besides the men’s shelter . . . have any leads on a job . . . anything to help him get on his feet and get his life restarted, that would truly be a blessing. As we say here in the south, I’d make him a pallet on the floor if I could, and more besides.

The Doper community is a most unique collection of fabulous people (and, as Cecil says, some Dipsticks) and you’ve shown me time and again how supportive you are. I appreciate you all for what you’ve been and done and for what I hope you do.

your humble TubaDiva

Any particular job field?

I believe his education and experience has been in marketing and publishing; his last job was for Time-Warner Books.

He’s only 23, so we’re not talking extensive anything here.

your humble TubaDiva

Well I was working in publishing, but I’m pretty much open to mostly anything. at this point

And i have to say to Tuba Diva, even though yu posted this with out telling me first, this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me and I’m touched as always by your compassion and kind heart. Thank you in every possible way


I wish I knew of something . . . I can’t even think of any freelance positions at my place. But I do have acquaintances at other publishing companies and will forward them this.

Though I didn’t mention it on the boards at the time, MonkeyMule was the subject of the OP in my Pit Thread If you have no cash, don’t stay out all night. Also not mentioned in that thread was that it occurred at a Doper gathering.

Needless to say, I don’t have particularly generous impulses toward the fellow.


A person quits his job, mails all of his possessions to another country to go live with a girl he has never met, things don’t work out, and now there is a collection plate being circulated online to get him back to New York, and to help him find a new job?

I won’t even go into Billdo’s thread linked above (which is enough to make me see red), but this is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard.

Nice gesture, Tuba, if it weren’t for the fact that you’re leaving out the most vital part: other people should not go out of their way to help… aw crap, this isn’t the pit, is it.

With all due respect, Pucette and Billdo, I don’t think anyone is being pressured to “go out of their way”. If you don’t want to help, then don’t. Don’t try to control MonkeyMule, TubaDiva, or any other posters who might want to get involved. You do realize that by criticizing this thread, you are trying to control other posters.

We’re all grownups here. We don’t need to tell one another what to do.

but perhaps, lola, if you knew the ENTIRE story behind MonkeyMule and not just what Tuba is revealing, your choice to help would change. Don’t you think it’s acceptable to present all the details?

Crap. I need to get a job, too.

Want some fries with that gauntlet, Pucette?


Sheesh Pucette - I guess you’ve never made a mistake before and needed help to get out of it.

Well, there was that incident with the Carter administration, but she got a full pardon before he left office.

My point is along the lines of what jarbaby posted. Tuba’s OP does not quite depict the whole situation. People are absolutely free to help him out for having gotten screwed over whilst displaying incredibly large amounts of poor judgement. As long as they know. Apologies for sounding like I was telling people what to do.

How many mistakes does one have to make before we suggest they find their OWN way out of it?

There’s a big difference between “making a mistake,” “making a mistake that any reasonably sentient adult should have been able to recognize from many miles away,” and “having a history of taking advantage of others’ generosity, making a mistake that any reasonably sentient adult should have been able to recognize from many miles away, and then trying to benefit from still more generosity.”

Nope, not gonna fly.

Please remember what forum you’re in, folks.

If you’re inclined to help someone, you do . . . if not, you don’t. It’s that simple. But, please don’t bitch about it in MPSIMS.

Kicking someone when they’re down isn’t helpful.

Cajun Man
for the SDMB

Helping someone who obviously won’t help himself (except to toher people’s charity) isn’t helpful either. People have a right to know the kind of person they are being asked to help–plain and simple.

If you want to warn people, that’s fine, but get over yourselves already. The guy was a total jerk at the Dopefest by mooching all night long and not paying anyone back and he made an incredibly stupid decision in moving to a foreign country with no job prospects on the off-chance that an online relationship might work but that is no reason to highjack this thread.

Why not keep it in the Pit?

Right. This about soliticing help for this person.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?


[sputter] Is there an implied smiley at the end of this post? I fail to see how it’s a “hijack” to suggest that this might not be the most appropriate charity case - particularly when it comes from people who actually have dealt with him in person.