A friend used to say as the greatest compliment, “She’s not scruffy”. Yeah, staunch NZers aren’t great talkers.
I saw this just recently:
I’d hit that so hard, if you pulled me out you’d be King of England.
More evidence, I suppose, that I’m completely clueless.
I don’t understand this one at all. The other over-the-top statements on this page make some sort of sense to me, but this one seems like a total non sequitur. Urinating in her butt isn’t some hard physical trial you’d overcome to experience her charms, like many of these other statements. It’s not (to me, atr least) a physical reaction to beauty so impressive that I end up doing some blowing-off-steam ridiculous action, like some of the others. It just seems like a gross, unrelated action.
Why would you say it? Or even think it? I don’t get it.
Me either. But such are the ways of love, I guess.
I’ll have to remember that one.
That’s actually why it made me laugh. It almost sounds like something erotic/sexual (along the lines of “I’d lick her head to toe” or “I’d like to tap that ass”). But then the actual words sink in, and you’re like “Wait, what?”
A friend used to say: I’d crawl through glass just to eat the nuts out of her shit.
She’s a tasty little biscuit.
One of my favorites along the “I’d hit it” lines, which I saw a picture of on Fark:
“I’d hit it so hard, whoever pulled me outta that would be crowned King of England.”
“It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.”
– Raymond Chandler
I’d leave it rot in her.
I’d hit that so hard when we were done she’d be three inches shorter.
You’re both naked, and you’re peeing on/in her. What’s not to get?
She’s easily 900 millihelens.
I think you’re reading more into that statement than the guy intended.
Incomprehensible statement of admiration/lust as Rohrschach test
“I’m interrested in her.”
(Pause to watch friends give me the ‘oh really?’ look.)
“Oh, not in the way you’re thinking.”
(Pause to let friends get back into disinterrested mode.)
“I want to have sex with her.”
(Pause as friends choke on soda.)
My favorite … usually uttered ironically indifferntly …
“Eh … I’d throw a dick in her.”
“She’s hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire.”
“I’m deeply in lust with her.”
She’s got a kind face… the kind I’d like to stick my dick in.
“I bet she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.” I was surprised to hear that in Full Metal Jacket.
“I’d crawl 10 miles, on my hands and knees, through broken, jagged glass just to beat off in her shadow.”
For “Robocop” fans:
“I’d buy THAT for a dollar!”
Possibly a reference to the Simpsons episode “One Fish, Two Fish, Blow Fish, Blue Fish,” in which the chef, trying to prepare a blowfish for Homer so as not to kill him, says while looking at the chart on how to do so, “Poison … poison … tasty fish!”