This happened a month or two ago, and I’m still a little annoyed by it, but I thought I’d put it out there and see if I really acted as childishly as I think I probably did, or if it was an appropriate response to rudeness.
There’s a swing dance venue in LA on Thursday nights (Lindygroove, for those in the scene) that gives away a great freebie birthday present. Whenever it’s your birthday, you get in free, and can bring 10 guests with you for free, too (as long as 5 of them are newbies). The only restriction is that you have to sign up a ways ahead of time, and specifically name the people who are coming with you. You can’t just show up and grab 10 random people.
There’s a group of us that semi-regularly drives down there to dance, and it’s sort of an unspoken agreement that, when our birthdays roll around, we get each other in for free (along with whoever new we bring along). So back a month or two ago, it was soon to be my friend Lucy’s birthday. She called me up a week before to see if I wanted to go, so she could put me on the list. One car was going down early to have dinner before dancing, but since I couldn’t get off work early enough, there was another car I could get a ride with going down later.
Come Thursday, I call up to work out ride logistics, and am informed that I didn’t make it onto the invite list. Apparently, she invited some other people. Some other, much less reliable people. And it turns out that they aren’t actually coming, so maybe I could just say I’m Bob at the door. “Sure,” I say, knowing that I won’t do that, partly because it feels cheap and partly because I’m pretty sure that Bob and I are regular enough customers that the guy at the door will recognize the not-so-fast one I’m trying to pull.
Now, the cover isn’t much. It costs as much or more in split gas to drive to Pasadena and back than it does to get in. And I make enough money that I don’t have to worry about going out dancing when I want to. But then, so do the people who flaked. I am mostly just annoyed that, after we’ve gone dancing many dozens of times, I’ve invited her to parties at my house, we drive down together often, apparently I don’t make the list. It also does not escape my notice that Bob is a more popular guy than I am. Yeah, I’m not a kid anymore, and I’m usually not insecure, but somehow this made me feel like I was being picked last for T-ball.
So I blew her off. I got invited to another party that night, and I went. I called Lucy up that evening, and wished her a happy birthday, but told her I was unable to make it. Sorry.
Ok, let the pile on begin.