Office cliche mini-rant

So you think my ideas are history? Listen, you are so five minutes ago. Maybe you could walk on water, but I haven’t seen you jump tall buildings lately. You did? Oh, I must have missed that memo. Just set some parameters so we can all be on the same page. Singing in the same choir. We need that because idea is bulletproof. Sometimes it needs to be repurposed. It’s just the nature of the beast. Because if you aren’t the lead dog, the view never changes.

Don’t worry about the company being bought; nothing will change here.

Since Nocktober is now banned, I think we’ll have to take this discussion offline.


Call me. We’ll do lunch.

We need to think outside the box so we can leverage the client’s focus. We need to revisit our knowledge base and fast-track a result-driven mindset to be proactive with our gap analysis. Our total quality, strategic fit will keep us in the loop. Synergy, empowerment, and best practices will definitely improve the bottom line. We will set the standard and become the bench mark in our sphere of influence. With our game plan, we can play hard ball and still have a win-win situation.


Was he banned, or did he get his paradigm shifted out of here?

Going forward, I suggest we helicopter this idea and maximise synergy by distributing resources across a wide skill-set of paradigms, picking the low hanging fruit while maintaining focus. We need to walk the walk, partnering the clients in a highly tailored case-by case model.

Nocktober is banned? But our employees are our most valuable asset! And he was so pro-active. I guess he just didn’t begin with the end in mind.

C’mon. You know you guys are getting this shit off some online Dilbertizer. You just gotta. The alternative is too damn frightening.

Maybe he was downsized?

He departed to persue other opportunities.

That’s rightsized! Get with the program. We need to optimize our staffing numbers for maximum productivity at minimum cost, while keeping our eyes on the goal.

He was decruited.

I’m pretty sure I report directly to one of you guys…


I suppose he wasn’t ON BOARD as a TEAM PLAYER so a mod took a PRO-ACTIVE approach to the situation.

He was made redundant.

He was happysized…

Naw, Ogre, no Delbertizer needed. Just 40 years experience working for areospace companies with government contracts. Crap, I left out a bunch too.

As for Nocktober, it appears that his process dynamics were inadequate and he failed to meet his affordability initiatives and significant business objectives. His position was destructured.

Who moved my cheese?