I still haven’t said a thing yet. 
:eek: I didn’t know that was possible! Did you check your temperature?
“Hunh?” followed by, “Yes, you can have the corneas.”
The first sound out of my mouth this morning was something like, “Rahhhhh!” I hate mornings. They’re so early. The first words were, “Oh, crap, what am I going to wear?”
Workdays: “shit”
Off days: “aaaah!” (a pleasant sound)
“Shut up” (slightly garbled), directed equally at the neighbor running a weedeater at 6:30 and the dog barking his fool head off at said neighbor.
“thank you”.
My Hubby also brought me some coffee in bed. Only, he let me sleep until 1:30 
First words: “Happy anniversary, sweetie.” (to husband)
Second words: “Ow! Get yer tail out of my face!” (to big dog who likes to share my pillow)
“How do you manage to look so beautiful first thing in the morning?”
"Brrrrrr. I’m cold.
Where am I?
Why am I in a bathtub filled with ice?
WHERE IS MY LIVER???"
“Off we go into the wild blue yonder.”
In my defense, I usually say hi to the dogs first, but this morning when I got up Papa T. had taken them to the dog beach. So I turned on the TV to see the Air Force Ceremonial Brass performing.
At 5:50am
GET A TISSUE!!!
And don’t drip on the sheets!!!
In response to my son’s massive nosebleed. He didn’t miss the sheets or any other damn thing.
“How did I sleep so late?”
“Where you at?”
After dialing the phone and it being answered.
Me: “And?..”
Boy from Mars: “Italia in finale!”
To my boyfriend who had gotten up early to watch the Italy-Germany game. It’s a good day for him!
My policy is never to speak in a language I don’t understand. I’ve gotten in trouble that way before!
I used to wake up and say/think, “Fuck! I’m still in Texas.” Thankfully, I eventually got out of Texas.
Yeah, used to say that first thing in the morning too, except in less voluntary fashion. See “Fuck! I’m still in Texas.”
Early?
Out of curiosity, what time zone are you and him in?
(I missed most of the first half due to the parents’ visitors–who had only come to pick up some empty boxes–staying around and talking about Washington (state, not president) for hours. Meanwhile I woed my fate at having been born in the USA and not, say, England, Germany, or Spain…)
Oh, damn cat! when, lurching down the hall, I put my bare foot into the place where the cat had urked up a giant hairball.
Dunno about the first words after waking, but my first words, period, are almost always some form of “Jabez, go away”, Jabez being my cat who thinks he has to start the process of waking me up about an hour before my actual wake-up time.
I had a bad dream" before snuggling under my husband’s arm…
and it was bad… 
“Morning, sweetie - how are you feeling today?”
SWMBO’s been under the weather lately.
When I was just out of middle school, I had some nasty, funky-looking, wide open scars on both knees caused by slipping and falling on one of those amateur basketball courts with lots of little pebbles and rocks. I had been applying all kinds of ointment and the wounds finally started healing up…then I woke up, walked downstairs, slipped in a HUGE pile of cat puke, fell on my ass and the force jarred open the scars all over again.