Which isn’t to say that I have a job. Only that my unemployment benefits have run out, and I will no longer be counted as unemployed on the federal jobless statistics.
I was all set to come in and say “yay” – instead, I’ll give that a big, hearty, “oh shit.”
(And if you want to come to Philly and be my toy boy, remember, that’s always on option.)
Man, I totally hated being on unemployment, this must be a tremendous relief for you to be able to shake that stigma. 
That toy boy offer is available in Denver too, if you don’t mind. You are one sexy bitch.
Not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but you’re still counted as unemployed. Unemployment statistics are based on surveys, not benefits.