Oh, For the Love of Chocolate Christ on a Cookie Cross!!

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve had enough. Here’s your final fix, ya bunch a butt jizz junkies:

Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch Felch

Can we move on now? Fuck is still a perfectly good word. In fact, it’s much more versatile. So, fuck you, you fucking fucks! Reverse that felch and shove it back up your ass. All this fucking felching is fucking everywhere. Pluck the straws out of your asses, have a fucking enema and get the fuck over it, pig fuckers!

FUCK!

2

Nothing to add, other than “Butt Jizz Junkies” would be a great name for a band.

3

I’m partial to “squick”, myself.

Dr. J

4

Fuck squick.

Fuck the word of the week.

“Fuck” endures. “Fuck” is forever. I’ll be heartily fucking you all long after your weak little words are lost and forgotten.

5

It depends on how you use it. There seem to be lots of fuckers around who think felch = fuck, but worse. But when felch fits, I fucking use it. As in “Camel felching, goat raping asswipe.” But then what the fuck do I know?

6

I agree with Big Joe; “Felch” is still highly useful when used in conjunction with “Fuck.” For instance:

NOT FUNNY: You are a person of questionable worth.

FUNNY: You’re a pig felcher.

FUNNIER: You’re a squirrel fucker.

FUNNIEST: You’re a pig-felching squirrelfucker.

Here we see that the changing the part of speech of “felcher” to “feltching” allows for the superior insult to have a little more variety and taste to it.

It is true, of course, that “fuck” is more versatile. While “unclefucker” and “corpse-felcher” are roughly equal, “fuck” is much better in use as other parts of speech. “Go felch yourself” isn’t quite as good as “go fuck yourself,” and “Felch you” jsut doesn’t measure up to “fuck you.”

7

I dunno, I’m getting pretty fucking tired of fucking saying the word “fuck” all the fucking time. It fucking gets fucking dull after a fucking while, and pretty fucking soon loses it’s fucking shock value. Can’t we fucking invent a new fucking cuss word??? When you fucking think about it, our fucking vocabularies are fucking limited compared to other fucking countries!!! At least the fucking word “felch” has the fucking virtue of being fucking original.

8

‘Felch’ has snuck its way out of the SDMB and into my IRL vocabulary. I recently told someone quit being such a pig-felcher. I’m waiting to see how long it takes until it infects my friends and family members.
Rose

9

I happen to like using skullfuck myself. Really need to work that into conversation more often. I agree that fuck is a wonderful, versatile, and enduring word that has earned its rightful place as a cornerstone of my vocabulary. I mean, there’s really nothing like good old-fashioned, straightforward profanity for making one’s mind perfectly clear.

10

Tymp said:

This doesn’t sound practical–I think you’d be better off with a cookie base for the whole thing. The cross could be chocolate, and Christ could be made out of those mini M&Ms.

11

T’hell with fuck, squick, AND felch… is anyone familiar with the practice of “munging”?

12

… and to think I came in to hear a rant about Mrs. Fields or Famous Amos or something.

Well, fuck.

13

This is another sad example of how our education system has failed. To think that rants and put-downs can only be expressed with expletives. It is truly sad that we, as thinking humans, cannot find more appropriate missives to describe those around us.

Lamentable but this is the way things are. Callings someone a “fuck nut” is somehow more appropriate and accepted than calling him a “filthy piece of distended rectum”. To say that “your father fucks goats” is more valued than “your father parades his elephantiasis of the scrotum to school children”.

Sad, isn’t it? I know I wipe a tear from my eye, especially when someone uses a “blue” word and doesn’t even bother to spell it correctly. Somehow, the pain of that is even more cutting. But never mind me. Go on with your dark and dirty words. I’ll come back later with a bar of soap. :wink:

14

LOL Tymp,

I have to agree with you on the usage of felch.

Fuck is such a versatile word and everyone knows it.

Just like in the audio clip called f-word.

“Fuck the fucking fuckers”
“Shirley fucks”

And for those who are hearing impaired, I felt you should also enjoy this audio clip (I just wish you could feel the calmness of this clip, it’s done in a mellow tone):

Hope you enjoy the word FUCK as it is a universally accepted word :wink:

15

I thought things were getting a little quiet around here, my faith has been restored by this fucking incredible group we have here.

I must admit that fuck is universally accepted and crosses social, economic, and linguistic boundaries like no other word. I used “goat felcher” the other day at work and just got some strange looks whereas had I used the good old reliable “fuck” there wouldn’t have been any confusion. Goat fucker is really a pretty clear statement and the visual springs to mind easily.

One can get their fucking ass kicked for using fuck in the wrong fucking situation but I think it is more likely that using the C word would get you the pain you so eagerly seek… especially if you applied it to someone as nasty (and sweet) as techchick.

16

???

17

As a translator, it is my holy duty to own the biggest, fattest English-French I can find, and I do. They have a column and a half devoted to the translations of various English idioms using the word fuck, including:

**
fuck, they had a quick f., to be a good f., to be an easy f., what the f. is that, who the f. told you about it/did this, as stupid/rich as f., he ran like f., shut the f. up, get the f. out of here, for f.'s sakes, f. knows why I agreed to come, not to care (or) give a f. (about sth.), why should I give a f. about what you think, she’d like you to apologize - like f. I will!, did you invite them? - like f. I did!, like f. I’m going to help that bastard!, get to f., to f., f. it, f. this, f. you, go f. yourself, f. him, f. what he thinks/says, f. me, f. the President, f. all, she does f. all work, fuck about, fuck around, f. about (or) around with something, if you spent less time fucking about (or) around with your computer program…!, f. off, to tell sb to f. off, f. off!, she’s been feeling really fucked off about work recently, f. over, to f. somebody over, I really got fucked over on that one, he had been fucked over for a thousand dollars, f. up, I think I’ve fucked up the exam/the meringue** (!!!), she was badly fucked up by her parents, to be fucked up, fucked, i’m f.!, his knee/heart/eye is f., his chances of winning the race were completely f., fucker, stupid f., old f., I can’t get the f. out, fuckface, fucking, this f. car, I’ve cut my f. finger, he’s a f. idiot, you’re a f. liar, that’s a f. lie, you haven’t got a f. clue, have you?, f. hell!, who the f. hell does she think she is? why/when the f. hell did you do that? it’s f. cold, you’re f. well out of your mind, what did you f. expect, fuck-up, the whole thing was a complete f., to make a f. of something, I made a real f. of the exam/interview.

18

In theory, can one felch after squicking?

Does it have anything to do with a Colostomy opening?

19

Ya know, MysterEcks, strange as it may seem, I’ve given more that a little thought to the development and marketing of just such a product. The idea I’ve pretty much settled on is a light, ginger wafer cross with a raspberry filled dark chocolate Christ. I can’t think of a better Easter treat.

One more example that I would like to add to techchick68’s brilliant list of practical applications for “fuck” is that of romantic interaction and human mating rituals. There is no more perfect pick-up line, invitation, and statement of intentions than the beautifully simple, “Wanna fuck?” I cannot possibly imagine a scenario in which it would be acceptable or advantageous to substitute the phrase “Wanna felch?” with any hope of achieving a desirable result. Thus, the supremacy of fucking over felching is ultimately demonstrated.

Ah, matt, I’m very pleased to see that there is such a comprehensive account of fucking.

20

SPOOFE

I fucking wish I weren’t familiar with it. But somehow I always thought felching was worse. Not because it is inherently more revolting, but because I can see people actually doing it. But munging…that’s just someone’s sick fantasy. Anyone ever ask Cecil if there were real stories of mung?

MR