Avalonian
What an inspiration you are!
Love is the conduit of goodness. You seem like a wonderful son who loves his mother. Just accept her gifts, and give her love in return. Kiss her cheek and tell her thanks. Tell her she is beautiful. And by all means, tell her that you love her.
Miller sagaciously wrote:
**
[quote]
God may be vengeful, but you simply do not fuck with Miss Manners. **
[quote]
Excellent!
WWMMD?
Be gracious, thank your mom and tell her it is now a part of your collection and you look forward to the chance to compare it to the other versions of the bible that you own. This will probably stave off any future Bibles being sent to you, as the message hopefully will be, *I am looking at this from a clinical detachment and not with the soul of my being *.
Possibly your Mom is out of touch with you and thinking of how you were when you were last home full time. Probably a little lost in life. ( weren’t we all?) and wants to only see her son happy.
I know, I suffer a fate worse than random bible mailings. I receive cooking magazine subscriptions for Bdays and Xmas from my culinary mom. * Sure, sure, Jesus changed water into wine and rose into heaven but there is no why on God’s Green Earth MOOOM that I can make a meal look like its picture. *
In this discussion, we are like Israel and Palestine. 
Do make sure that a gift certificate or check or something else personal is not lurking within the pages. Many a urban legend circulates about how a parent gave a child the gift of a bible and the child was disgusted and never opened it until years later and found the other part of the gift. She may be looking to replay that.
Hey, Avalonian! Could you pop in over here for a sec? I don’t wanna hijack your thread, but I’ve got a question.
Thanks!
laughs Good point, but I’ve actually already flipped through the book itself a few times, just to scan through the “translation” and see what it was like. And, I neglected to mention that my mother also sent a $100 gift card for Wal-Mart seperately, which my wife and I spent on drywalling supplies (we’re getting ready to re-finish our basement). So, good idea, but not the case for us.
Libertarian… I can only say thank you. I don’t feel much like an “inspiration.” Rather, I feel a bit petty for looking at my mother’s gift with suspicious eyes. I do love her, and I tell her so whenever possible. This certainly will change none of that. 
Shirley… the thing is, she knows I’m happy. I’m married to the love of my life, I’ve got three beautiful daughters, and a job that I like reasonably well. I’m glad she wants to share her happiness with me, but I like to think I’ve at least communicated to her that I find my true happiness in my family, friends, and life. I don’t disrespect her religion at all, but I don’t need it for my own happiness.
Gah. I sound schizophrenic here; I love her one moment, and I’m hurt the next. I guess I’m a little hurt that she sent me that, because I love her.
Happy birthday to me… I’m 30 as of 42 minutes ago. Now we’ll soon see what my mom has sent for my birthday present.
You’re a better person than I; I would never consider donating it to a church. Rather, I’d return it to the bookstore (place of purchase to be determined by analysis of price tag) for store credit. Then I’d get books I really wanted to read.
Wait, Avalonian! I know this one! Turn to Matthew 7:11. Your mom’s actually bought you a new car for Christmas and the bill of ownership is hidden inside the Bible!
I do recall a photo taken at the La Ronde amusement park in Canada of someone wearing a T-shirt with massive lettering stating “JESUS IS A CUNT”. I’m sure that would get the job done in this situation too.
We just threw away several Bibles. We’re trying to get rid of things and we had several translations and I’m not even Xtian, so we chucked them.
My dad has given me religious crap as gifts before… I just smile and nod and put it away. Yeah it pisses me off on the inside, but he isn’t going to change and it isn’t worth the vitriol.
Avalonian, you took the high road. Bravo. The gift has little importance; the relationship with your mother is precious.
It’s just a vehicle to show you your mother’s love.
It’s the medium that’s “The Message”
Thank you, Marshall McLuhan.
Seriously, I know. I know her gift was given out of love. It just made me think, I guess. I think my conclusion is, as my wife suggested, my mom doesn’t know me as well as I think she does. No big deal…
I just don’t get the christian zeal for conversion. I officially became an athiest when I was 11. All through my teens I got bibles and holy books from my older sister for Xmas and they went straight to the nearest charity bookstore. Every time I saw her she told me that I was going straight to HELL!!!
This continued until I became a Buddhist at the age of 34. She sent both my husband and I a VERY heavy letter about how we were destined to BURN IN HELL FOREVER.
The following Xmas she sent us
Wait for it…
A fire blanket!!! So useful to protect us from the flames!!!
You have to laugh, don’t you???
a fire blanket would be a cool present!
Are you saying that your sister sent you a fire blanket out of spite, as a way of telling you that you are going to hell?
Lovely.
Yes - well that’s the way it seems to me.We had a laugh about it at the time because it was just so petty, but since my husband died 7 years ago I get regular phone calls to tell me that he’s burning in hell and i’ll be joining him there if I don’t see sense and give up Buddhism. The last time she was in this country I had to ask her to leave my house because she just wouldn’t give up on the subject.
Even though, as a Buddhist, I don’t believe in her “hell” I find her saying that VERY offensive!!
Wow, that’s horrible, and totally against (what would be a true) Christian sense of love.
Imho, this is the most logical and caring post of the day in any forum.
Thanks.