Oh no no no. Of all people in the world, not HER.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I am weak. I am male.

Start there. The year before I met the Future Bus Wife, I spent time dating the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing close up. No, really, that’s not my heart talking, I mean I was in way, way over my head.

Drop Dead Gorgeous. And, as fate would have it, beautiful inside as well. Smart, easy going, we shared the same weird sense of humor and everything just fit liike a glove.

Oh, and she was married to a dentist. :smack:

Things faded. I’d like to say I developed a moral compass, but it took the Bus Wife, the Kid and some period of adjustment before that happened to me. There was no compass in me at that time. I was led by Mr. Happy, and Mr. Happy loved Susan. I think my other brain did too, because I was really over the moon for her.

I know she was in love with me, because she tiold me incessantly. All I’d have had to do was snap my fingers, say “OK”, and she’d have been all mine. I didn’t want that. Oh, no, I was too smart to get tied down then, even to her.

So it kind of just drifted to an end. A few months later, I met FBW and never looked back.

No hide, no hair of Susan for going on 22 years now.

I’m here, minding my own business today, doing busy work in the off week and the phone rings. New parent, moved into the district wants to know where the twins will catch the bus. I start looking up the routes in her subdivision, and ask her name again…

::Gulp::

She tells me. And asks mine again. Long, intentional silence from her end.

Um, yes Susan, it’s THAT Bus Guy. It has been a long time hasn’t it?

Me? I’m fine, great really. Wonderful wife, perfect child, great job. Yeah, it’s a long way from the goofball you remember plating printed circuit boards at that old electronics firm, it sure is.

And how are you?

No shit, 16 year old twins, and widowed for 5 years? I guess it would be hard to re-marry, sure hope I’m never in that situation, I really wish the best for you.

What’s that? Oh, yeah I remember how you felt about your husband, you’d tell me he was a nice guy but dull and you always thought you had a soulmate somewhere you were missing out on.

::gulp::

(Her): You know Bus Guy, you will always be the One That Got Away for me, it’s so nice hearing your voice again. It makes me believe in fate.

I said no to meeting for a drink. I backed off of even a lunch, but I said she could call next week and we could see about meeting over a cup of coffee one day next week.

It’s coffee for goodness sake. I love my wife, I’m not going to get dragged into something that’s going to hurt her.

I only have two wishes right now. One, that someone could wind the Way Back Machine so I don’t grab that particular phone call. And two, that she got fat. And ugly.

2

My gut is saying “no” to that coffee meeting, here, Bus. A thunderous round of applause for putting the kaibosh on the “meeting for drinks” idea. Let’s say she hasn’t gotten fat or ugly. Do you really want to be ingesting something that lowers your inhibitions?

3

I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but I’m going to say it anyway.

Be careful. Be very, very careful.

4

Hey, now, being male is no excuse to be weak. If you’re weak, blame that on you. :wink:

That said, my dear, you did the right thing. You’re a grown man and I won’t tell you not to meet her for coffee, just be sure it doesn’t scald you. Coffee can be hot. :smiley:

You’re a good guy,** Bus Guy**. I’ll send the fat fairy her way for you, though, if it will make things a little easier. I have a few extra Christmas pounds around my tummy I can donate to the cause. :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Are you the poster who was working as a crossing guard and saw a nekkid woman driving a minivan dropping her kids off at school? If so, I wouldn’t trust your luck that she got fat and ugly… quite the opposite, most likely…

6

Part of me is a little scared. Which is why I only agreed to let her call, and we could TALK about coffee so I could get off the line and stop the pounding in my chest.

I’m a different person than when I knew her before. I was the guy then that knew she was married and pursued her anyway. Still, she represents a tangible artifact of my complete inability (then at least) to not do the "right’ thing when I had the chance.

Oh and did I mention those eyes? Huge baby blues that could melt the coldest heart.

7

I physically shuddered when I read the OP. If it were me in this situation (which it’s not, of course and thank heaven), I think I’d find some polite way to back out of coffee.

8

YOU shuddered? Want to know how many times I had to preview and edit the spelling erros alone?

Maybe I’ll just give up coffee altogether…I drink too much of it anyway. Yup. Good time to go off the ole’ Joe, eh?

::whimper::

9

heeeeee. Life’s a bitch ain’t it?

Back when I loved my wife I worked with someone who I really enjoyed. Never did anything about it, mind you, just thought to myself, “Damn, if only I weren’t married…” numerous times. And she also had said from time to time, “Damn, too bad you’re married.”

So it was with much rebound hope in my heart that, when Mrs. Montoya sought greener pastures I contacted her and, damn. She was married now, but she wouldn’t mind meeting with Mrs. Montoya to introduce the side of her head to a brick if that would make me feel better. I declined but sincerely thanked her for the offer. Couple months later…she hates her husband. Dude is just not working out. Fast forward to yesterday:

Mrs. Montoya and I are on the verge of reconciling sans divorce. Mrs. Montoya is in another state with the kids getteing her dad’s estate in order for a couple more days. SHE calls. Seems he has left her husband and has been moving all her stuff into an apartment all day. Her kids are at her parents’ house. She’s bored. And lonely. As am I. Damned moral compass. I may have missed my first and best booty call.

10

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11

Feel like having some coffee??

12

You’re not my type.

13

Saw it coming and pissed myself laughing anyway.

[sub]Now that’s sexy.[/sub]

14

Hey…you don’t happen to have a cold, do you? Because, man…flushed cheeks, sweaty brow, body tremors, urine: that’s a recipe for uncontrollable carnal lust.

15

Should marriage even be legal? Look at all this trouble is causes. It’s a weird agreement. I’m, of course, married.

16

Don’t do it. There’s no happy ending there. None.

17

I set 'em up, Inigo swats them out of the park.

Hurry and send that fat fairy would ya? I mean to me. I wonder if she got off the phone and said “Gee, I hope he hasn’t gotten all old and ugly…?” Maybe I’m worrying for nothing?

18

Invite her to your house with your wife there.

19

"Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happen to me, but…"

20

Believe it or not, I considered that, for about 14 milliseconds.

The wife has heard her mentioned before in one of those “What did you do before you met me?” conversations. The Wife however, is also, um shall we say “high strung”?