When I get some sprogs of my own, that’s exactly the line I’m going to use. 
You are scaring the living crap out of me. My first child is due in January and if it turns out like that I’m sending it back for a refund.
Seriously though, I won’t tolerate that behavior. I wasn’t like that growing up and my kids won’t either. I must keep telling myself that is true because I otherwise its going to get ugly. 
Nice, I’m stealing this behavior mod!
Children (and parents) like that are one of the major reasons I don’t have kids. I don’t like most children. Even when I know it’s the parents fault for letting the little rugrat act like that, it’s not the parent screaming in my ear.
When we lived in Hawaii, we had a couple with two kids who were friends of ours. (Well, he was friends with my husband. I liked her ok, just had nothing in common with a woman who was so attached to her children she wouldn’t go anywhere without them. This couple had not had a night alone together in 4 years.) These kids were very spoiled and had no concept of manners. Something on your plate you “don’t like”? Don’t just leave it there, throw it on the floor to make sure Momma knows you are displeased at the service. Adults carrying on a conversation so you are no longer the center of attention? Start screaming in your mom’s face! That gets her attention every time! I got to the point that visiting the couple made me sick to my stomach.
I was an only child, and never babysat or anything like that growing up, so I have no experience with children. Looking back, my husband are well-educated, responsible people - the kind that should have kids. And my husband would have made a great father. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so bad as a mother - but I’ll never know. I love my furbabies and that’s enough for me. The furbabies don’t stay out late without calling or get in trouble at school either.
Or as I like to say, “Secret and random beatings”. (Yes, I’m joking. I don’t actually advocate secret and random beatings. In fact, they should be public and fit the transgression).
Sounds like my nephews that I live with, alanak. Truly, I feel for you.
Right, well, to each his own. In the words of Denis Leary, “I got the shit beat out of me and I’m looking forward to beating the shit out of my kids.”
Just wait until those kids hit their late teens and all of the sudden they want a brand new car. Or iPod or whatever it is these damn kids want these days (I am not generally in-tune with my generation…hell, I read Steinbeck for pleasure). Nearly all the kids I knew who smoked pot and drank before 18 were the ones whose parents had no control. It’s a dangerous path in the end, not having guidance and boundaries.
And it doesn’t make the kids happier, either. Kids need boundaries to feel secure. I am pretty darn sure my niece, the brat, is starting to show anxiety symptoms because her world is so insecure.
Like PoorYorick said, are there any consequences for the kids for not doing as they ask? Do they like to go out with you or someting? Is there something you can take away from them that they like to do with you as a punishment for not obeying you? If they like hanging around with you, it can be as simple as, “I’m going to leave if you don’t stop screaming,” and actually leave for awhile if they don’t stop.
Have you talked to your cousin and his wife about this? Do they not see a problem? How do the Brats behave at school?
And STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!
Kids know right from wrong, especially those who’ve been to school for more than a couple of months. 90% of them don’t do any of that crap at school. Their teachers have rules, they give orders and they squash any misbehaving firmly. If it can be done at school, it can be done at home, even by Uncle alanak.
I can’t guarantee anything, because my methods were first learned as a substitute teacher for inner-city middle schools, mainly. Family and friends require a bit more finesse, but you can probably apply the general principles at the very least. First, I don’t act as though I am anything except the supreme commander of my classroom. Be physically close, watch closely, and keep the behavior from happening, but stop it decisively the moment you realize it sneaked past you. Remember that even supreme commanders make mistakes, and even need to change their minds sometimes. That is not a weakness. “Because I said so” is a completely valid reason. You can explain further when the desired behaviour has been acheived and everyone’s calm.
One thing I never do is act like there are certain things I’ll let them get away with because they’re kids (or because their parents let them). It’s just us human beings here and bad behavior when you’re five is no more acceptable than when you’re fifteen or fifty. Even small rug rats know when they’re being bad and are uncomfortable when they’re called on it. Say something along the lines of: “Andrew, what do you think you’re doing right now? Is that the way you would like someone to treat you? Why do you think it’s okay to do it to me?” It brings them out of themselves, reminds them there is more to the world than themselves and what they want. I’ve done this with the child’s parents standing next to me and they’re generally amazed and grateful to see their child is actually a good little person.
After a while, you don’t need to say anything half the time. You can develop a look that says ‘We both know what you’re up to, I don’t like it, and you’d better knock it the fuck off.’ You have to have a bit of a gleam in your eye that says you’re willing to throw them out the window of a moving car. When you’re first trying to get a pack of kids under control again (which is not the same as controlling them completely), pick your battles. Deal with hitting, then eventually work your way down to picking up their toys.
It sounds harsh written out, but it’s really a no-nonsense, respect-for-all-required attitude, not meaness. Kids like boundaries even though they test them constantly, they need rules to guide them, want those rules to be enforced fairly and firmly. When they know what’s what, they feel secure and you get a lot less mis-behavior. Everybody is happier and it’s always worth the trouble. Always.
I can say without a trace of sarcasm (albeit with some wry pleasure) that I can not WAIT until I’m old enough to wave a cane and shout that at kids.
At 38, I’m damned near there. And hey, I actually do have a cane!
Seeing that the cousins are being very accommodating to me, i think criticizing their parenting skills would be a bad idea. I think they just see it as normal behaviour.
The only thing I can really do is ignore them, which really doesn’t seem to bother them. I don’t even have control of the TV, because if I turn it off, they’ll turn it back on. And I’ll eventually get fed up and stop turning it off.
As a new member of this household, they really don’t do all that much to me, unless I prokove. They won’t hit me though. G will scream at me though. And I see it in her eyes, that it’s just an attempt to get the attention of her mommy.
Ashes, Ashes - I’ll take your suggestions into account. The kids are generally behaved better at school to the best of my knowledge. But as I said before, it’s hard for me to be an authority figure when one or more of the parents are around.
My personal theory is that the Kennel Club should be put in charge of issuing parenting licences. No-one should be allowed kids until they have successfully raised two (2) puppies to be healthy, well-adjusted, housetrained and reasonably obedient dogs. Second puppy not to be issued until first puppy has reached adulthood, no outside assistance other than veterinarians and advice - enlisting dog trainers a nono. Well-adjusted defined as an absence of psychotic, needy or over-agressive behaviour, obedience defined as a following a basic set of commands such as ‘stay here’, ‘stop that’, ‘be quiet’, ‘heel’.
If someone can demonstrate that both that they are able to put up with barking, whining, crapping, chewing, fucking, shedding and puking for a few years, AND that they have the ability to turn out an animal that won’t make everyone else’s life a misery, then and only then would I be prepared to let them have a go at producing something I will have to pay for and put up with as a fellow citizen.
Unfortunately, I have yet to even receive a response to my application for post of Lord Command Of The Universe, so you are all going to have to put up with the incompetent current regime for a while longer. :mad:
Since normal methods have failed, and if the walls are reasonably thick/neighbours distant, may I suggest picking a moment when the parents are out in order to throw a huge bulging eyes/frothing mouth/protruding veins/flying spittle tantrum of your own in order to impress upon the little darlings that they are not the only psycho nutcases in the world? Last resorts and all that…
I like the cut of your jib, son.