This little snippet caused me to giggle madly for a good five minutes. Please be more considerate in the future, I nearly passed out from lack of oxygen.
FelchtheLizard, I hope you don’t post in this thread again, because every time you do, you make yourself look like a bigger fool. Before posters tolerated you the best they could, but now you’ve given them the perfect oppurtunity to BBQ your ass, and some posters, Coldfire especially, will not pull their punches.
When I logged on just now and saw this thread, I could not believe you could be so stupid. I still can’t.
Coldfire, that was an amazing post BTW
I was gonna stay out of this one, but I can’t.
Lizard Person said:
Umm yes it was his business, as is the business of everyone on this board. I posted my issues with you. You came back with one of the most moronic and insensitive statements of all time.
As for other people responding to this, well you brought it out in the open. We will see it and we will respond. If this is not acceptable enough for you, I suggest that if you have a serious beef with someone you take that to email.
If you harrass a board member via email, it most likely will end up in the Administrators’ hands and you will be dealt with swifty and cleanly.
As for your general whineyness, it’s really getting tiring.
Realizing that the thread subject is not a joke, I am truly amazed. Relative to where this occured, that was the stupidest and most suicidal thing that I’ve seen in a long time. Coldfire handled this like a gentleman (well, an ass-kicking one). Sometimes the big dogs have to grab the little dogs by the necks and give 'em a good shake. Drainthelizard, you’d better stay up on the porch from now on.
That does show a lot of class – the boy is attempting to insult Coldfire, and he reaches out his hand to offer comfort to the boy’s frustrated goat. (btw, Coldfire, your customer support technicians were very helpful and courteous. I’m using your “Got Felch?” wallpaper and screensaver as we speak.)
I was gonna stay out of this one, but I can’t.
Lizard Person said:
Umm yes it was his business, as is the business of everyone on this board. I posted my issues with you. You came back with one of the most moronic and insensitive statements of all time.
As for other people responding to this, well you brought it out in the open. We will see it and we will respond. If this is not acceptable enough for you, I suggest that if you have a serious beef with someone you take that to email.
If you harrass a board member via email, it most likely will end up in the Administrators’ hands and you will be dealt with swifty and cleanly. Just FYI.
As for your general whineyness, it’s really getting tiring.
Nope, I don’t think that was good enough Coldfire. Brainthelizard has made some really astounding and witty comments. Did you see the way he said “Fuck you”? Pure genius.
I think you should flame him a few more times.
DTL, shut the fuck up. I like Coldfire, he has a brain cell or two (maybe even three) whereas you are a fucking idiot.
Please go away.
Trust the CGI, trust the CGI, trust the CGI.
< sorry bout the double post Lynn >
Damnit!
How about for lying to the entire board by saying you were a victim of Hitler? It takes someone either with the intelligence of cold water or the personality of pee (hence your screen name) to do something that low. It would be like me posting . . . well, a blatant lie to get sympathy. On a board where most people try to get respect by being intelligent, your attempt at satire was, at best, unsuccesful.
So then you’re blaming Coldfire for your lack of ability to construct a successful flame? This sounds to me like someone saying “It’s not fair that you beat me! You’re better than I am!” Grow up and acquire the ability to present an argument.
-
This isn’t a popularity contest. This is a stupid little child saying “boo-hoo! I don’t like you, you stupid . . . bad boy!” and us saying “go fuck yourself” back.
-
We’re not kissing his ass, we’re supporting him. If you had friends on this board, and they had spines, they’d do the same. However, since you’re up against a nuclear warhead here, any friend you bring us just going to end up with soiled pants.
-
This stopped being between you and he when you posted this. If you want to have a private flaming war, email him. Otherwise, anything you post up here is fair game. See, this is a public message board.
[QUOTE]
- Originally posted by drainthelizard * More later, when I have the time.
[QUOTE]
Ooh baby. I can hardly await your next bathroom break.
Except that isn’t a point, dtl. A point is something that serves as a means for discussion or argument. Saying “fuck you!” serves no purpose but to show one’s futility in an argument they have already lost. It would behoove you to learn the difference.
Please come back when you have more insulting things than warm pee and bread crumbs to throw at us. It’s actually getting boring to flame you . . . you don’t have anything harmful to say. And “fuck you” as an insult got old during grade school.
I thought okatym’s attempt to make them each see the other’s side on the nazi comments made a shitload of sense. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
I think you’d better ask dtl what prompted this thread. To my understanding, he/she/it started it.
And it seems our little pool of pee is, in fact, enjoying this, else why would he/she/it come back for more?
Thanks for the link, Coldfire.
Well, all this flaming going around, and I couldn’t understand the purpose for any of it until the nazi comment was made. The original insult from dtl to techchick seemed to be made in jest, IMHO of course, and didn’t sound inflammatory. But then, I do not know their complete history. I only made an opinion when dtl made the nazi comment and followed it up by saying it was a joke. That was in extremely poor taste.
BTW, someone made a comment about the Holocaust not having the same profoundness on Americans as it does on Europeans. I would have to say this is not necessarily true. My heart weeps regularly for the horror and suffering these people went through and I cannot conceive of how it would be possible for anyone to make a joke out of it, white supremacists not withstanding. It could never be a joke in my mind, and I think about it in a very grave matter. Perhaps having Jewish relatives and friends makes the difference, perhaps seeing the effects of the nazis on an almost broken man does it, or perhaps just being a very sensitive person does it. I don’t know. But I think that anyone who has suffered in the slightest way should at least show Jewish people the dignity of not making a joke of one of the most tragic events in their history.
Rant over.
Note to people who keep telling what the Pit is supposed to be like:
This is it, isn’t it? I can see what you see in it. This is kinda fun.
DTL if you had sincerely apologized for the nazi comment it would have been cool. You, however, had to go off and patronize the rest of us by asking us if we had ever read swift and if we understood “satire”.
If what you did was satire, it was so poorly done that it the vast majority of people on this board couldn’t recognize it.
Of course, you believe this wasn’t your fault! None of us can rise to your level and comprehend this impressive manipulation of words…
And to rip on Coldfire ?!?!?!? Do you truly think that every single person here is “kissing his ass”?
Stop being a martyr. Take responsibility for your own actions. Grow up and be a man.
It is my opinion that when people miss a joke, it’s either because the audience doesn’t know the subject or the joke teller is being stupid (if nothing more). It should be obvious by now that enough of us know the book dlt cited. That leaves one option.
My understanding of satire is that it’s supposed to make fun of something through subtlety.
Since when is it okay to mock victims of the Holocaust?
And dtl, I went ahead and searched on ask.com for satire just to make sure I had it reasonably straight. The first URL I came across in the independent search engine section was a reference to Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal.” So not only did you not necessarily read the book, it would be entirely possible (though I am not saying you did do this) for you to have taken someone else’s idea and used it to attempt to excuse the pitiful act of pretending to be a victim of the Holocaust or to have family members die in concentration camps or such. As you don’t seem to have any problem doing so, I don’t have any problem considering you to be no more intelligent than the result of the action that is your screen name.
Amen, Grendel. The phrase “don’t get mad, get even” comes to mind now, with the problem that dtl seems to be trying to get even and is failing even at that.
You will notice, I hope, dtl, that those who have flamed or mocked you have a noticeable lack (or at least low percentage) of swearing in their posts. It is the mark of an educated person to be able to argue or discuss (or mock) without swearing. It is also the mark of a fool to do as much (swear, if you weren’t paying attention) when it is unwarranted.
Wow - so this is where everyone was today.
Drainthelizard, I give your OP an 8.0 as far as opening rants go, but Coldfire’s response has you beat by 2 points. Of course, there is often a disadvantage in starting on the offensive. All things being equal, defensive flaming can often win out.
And the general public seems to be against you on about a 50:1 ratio here. Most unfortunate indeed.
With that in mind, maybe you should consider that this battle is perhaps lost here, yes?
Make it 51:1…
Some people just don’t learn… :rolleyes:
In all fairness, English IS my day-to-day language, mostly. It’s what I speak at work and online, which is about 60% of my day.
Now, for some more analysis. Spankthelizard posteth:
As I said before, and as you so conveniently ignored, show us where I bash you. It is not every oportunity I get. As for the bashing I’m doing in this thread: you asked for it.
I have merely pointed out an unforgivable mistake on your behalf. Sue me.
They can be. Bear in mind that this is not about popularity, but about common sense and respect.
The goat is calling you again?
Thanks for calling. Make sure you get your entire head in front of the shotgun, will you?
okatym, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, and I see the logic in your post. But I disagree. It is entirely possible that people in the US are less annoyed by remarks like DTL’s because of the relative “distance” to the scene of the atrocities in WWII, sad as that -indeed- may be.
However:
- This is the Straight Dope, for Gods sake. I expect every single poster to have enough historical knowledge NOT to pull such a stunt. Is that too much too ask? We’re all very smart and inquisitive people here - with the odd exception, apparently.
- This is the Internet. “We” are not in the US, nor in Europe. The scope of ones words here is wider than in your local tavern. I expect people to realise that. Again, not a terrible thing to ask of people who have a decent brain.
NEVER! Is that what you think, that this a popularity contest? I wouldn’t care if the ratio was 5000:1. I said I intend to stick around, and I WILL.
Grendel69- Ouch. That HURT.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
**Links, man. Links. I recall two or three posts that I wasted on your disgusting behaviour regarding humour and the Holocaust. Make sure the people can read them, so they can decide for themselves. By no means did I have to go “out of my way” to bash you: I merely called you on some very, very intolerable posts.
**
[/QUOTE]
“The people”? I see. So unless you have an audience rooting you on, you really haven’t won, have you? Well, you got that. But it doesn’t seem to slow me down much, does it? Call me stupid, call me foolish, call me ignorant (oh wait, you HAVE) but I intend to do exactly what I said I would do in the OP.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
As you can see, statements about people you clearly do not know have no effect on me. Try to make me angry when you flame. This is merely venting your anger. Sure, you’ll feel better afterwards, but you’ve missed the most important goal: pissing me off. Can’t you do any better than Bubba and “yo momma”-jokes?
**
[/QUOTE]
Okay, how about this: Coldfire goes into a bar and sees a huge bucket of cash on the counter with a placard that says “WIN THIS.” He says to the bartender, “What have I got to do to win that cash?” The bartender says “Three things. First, you have to knock out our 350 pound bouncer Tiny with one blow. Then, you have to go out back. There’s a pit bull out there with an abcessed tooth. You have to extract it with a pocketknife. Last, the owner of this bar is a 90 year old crone who lives upstairs. You have to give her a 90-minute orgasm.”
“I think I can do that,” says Coldfire. He walks over to Tiny and Boom, knocks him out with a single blow. Then, all fired up, he charges out the back door to confront the pit bull. The patrons in the bar hear about 20 minutes of fierce growling and snarling, following by high pitched yipping. This goes on for some time. Finally CColdfire reappears in the doorway. His clothes are shredded, and he’s covered with scratches and dirt.
“Okay,” he says wearily. “Where’s that old crone who’s tooth I have to pull?”
Want more? Here ya go!
Three guys are stranded on a liferaft after their boat sinks. (One of them Coldfire) They are almost perishing of thirst and hunger when a bottle floats by. One of them reaches out to grab it, and as he does so a genie comes out.
“Because you have freed me from the bottle, I will grant each of you one wish. It may be anything you desire.” said the genie.
The first guy thinks for a minute, and says "I wish I was sitting down to a huge steak dinner with my wife and family. Poof- he’s gone. The second guy thinks a little harder and says “I wish I was king of a tropical island with gobs og beautiful woman in my harem.” Poof- he’s gone, and Coldfire is alone on the boat. “What do you desire?” asks the genie. Coldfire thinks long and hard, then says “What I really want more than anything is to have my friends back.”
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
Damn straight I am a better arbiter than you, it seems.
**
[/QUOTE]
I’m confounded in the presence of such arrogance. You are beyond belief. So YOU know better than ME about MYSELF? Then can you tell me when I’m going to get my next raise? Will I win the lottery? Are you fit to hold my sack? I think not.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
I have a European collar size 41. Your pencils are mighty big! Then again, lesser primates do have larger hands than humanoids.
**
[/QUOTE]
Uh, all primates are humanoids, dumb fuck. Look up the word.
Except you. You’re what they call a rodent.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
What you see is what you get. I’m no different IRL, and I would have commented on in just as easily. As far as beating the crap out of me goes: I’m not a fighter per se, but I sure as hell am not a tiny guy. I’m positive I could handle a nerve-wrecked, trembling idiot as yourself. Not that I would even waste a single Newton of muscle power on you.
**
[/QUOTE]
Ooooooh, look at me shake! I can FEEL how tough you are, clear across the Atlantic! I guess it’s true what they say. Talk is cheap, and you have a lot of currency over there! And those who read the OP will notice that at no time did I say I wanted/intended to fight Colddick myself. But I guess “Newton muscle boy” felt obliged to talk tough.
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
I’ll meddle wherever the fuck I damn please. Especially when somebody crosses the lines of common decensy. Get used to it. Besides, about 40 people commented on you in that thread. Are they all going to get a customized “Flame-by-drainthelizard” thread?
**
[/QUOTE]
You know, I tried to look up “decensy” in the dictionary, but I couldn’t find it. Just what is it? What does such a line look like? Is it a straight line? Does it weave from side to side? Is a “decensy” line recognizable to the average person, or only to “great arbiters” like you, Colddick? How powerful must a computer be to model a “decensy” line? What is the equation for one?
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
You just think I am arrogant. In reality, you are just insecure, which makes you think others (who are secure and happy with themselves) are arrogant, when they’re merely right.
Covering it up with useless profanity and childish claims about the sexual endeavours of my family members does NOT improve your credibility or standing on this board. For that, you need to have a point. And so far, you seem pretty pointless to me.
**
[/QUOTE]
Arrogance: def: undue assumption of importance.
Hmmm. Given that you feel compelled to share your opinion CONTINUOUSLY on what a loser I am when it’s been said already, yup! You’re arrogant!
And just how big a point did the childish profanity in THIS statement have:
“Anybody who feels it is OK to lie about your relatives being killed in WWII, in concentration camps, because they were Jews, just to divert the attention from a piss-poor flame (Ha! It was only satire! No, really!) is, indeed, a fucking loser. And a fucking lowlife mindless idiot to boot. Fucker.”
Oh. So if it had been a GOOD flame (like your overrated effort) it would’ve been okay? And what is the point to THIS one:
"You want a record? Try starting a thread named “Who wants to kick my loser ass?”
Or THIS one:
"Don’t try to speak Italian when you don’t know how, shithead.
So far, you’ve failed to convince us all with your so-called Satire, and now you have again failed to make sure we all know you’re being Tongue In Cheek.
Does the idea that you REALLY are a loser strike you as odd?
In any case, your grasp on the English language does not seem good enough to use the finer subtleties of it. So you might as well skip these exercises, and restrict yourself to simple, first-person, present tense, sentences."
**
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, Colddick. My grasp of the English language is somewhere along your “decensy” line.
(To all others reading this thread, these and many other interesting quotes on my potential “loser” status can be found at http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=33085
QUOTE]Originally posted by Coldfire
Feel free to leave now. I’ll even hold the door for you.
Any questions?
**
[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah. Is it true that the Germans took The Netherlands without firing a shot? And that for all your ranting and raving about the Holocaust, your own people helped hunt Jews down? And that members of MY family helped liberate your sorry excuse for a country? (I have the pictures of my grandfather in Amsterdam to prove it.)
So the question is Coldcock, do YOU have any currency left?
No, shithead, that most certainly is NOT true. This merely underlines your historical ignorance. Tell your grandfather I salute him, and also tell him to kick your ass so hard you won’t know which century you’re in.
What a trainwreck. You fuck up every single coding, yet you think you can accuse me of one single spelling error.
Sorry excuse for a country? Is that what your grandfather told you about the Netherlands?
This last post of yours is just too low, man. Think about it. Do you even see what sort of things you’re saying here? Apparently not. I’m guessing this one will get you banned, DTL. This was just too fucking harsh.
You’re an ignorant piece of shit that doesn’t deserve all this attention. Oh, and those jokes are old enough to be your grandfather. Is THAT a flame? Substitutign a name in a 30 year old joke?
Jesus H. Christ, what the hell are we wasting our time on here. Alphagene, Lynn, please tell me what you think of all this. If he’s on the verge of being banned anyway, I’m not gonna flame him anymore.