Smoothy goes to sit beside SpiderWoman and discuss what to do about the others.
Smoothy and Spidey decide to inflate jb_farley’s alimentary canal, since the compressor and air hose attachment are still on the premises and don’t need to be returned to the rental place until 6PM Monday. It won’t even require the use of an anesthetic (see above), so they proceed with caution.
Cat Random emerges, complaining with great yowls, and proceeds to wash self. Then, noticing invisibility again wearing off all small denizens of thread, prepares to pounce (once a cat, always a cat). . .
-----:eek:
—////\\
Well that was an indescribably disgusting experience. You and I are going to have to have a little talk, jb. Now let’s get all 18 clawses nice and sharp…
(And for the record, the random cat is not with kitten!)
Momma spider wakes all the little spiders, and they stretch all of their little legs, just itching to begin another day of terrorizing silly humans. Smoothy is a little disgruntled at having shared a room under a log with the zillion chilluns.
That sleek orange random cat was stopped in its tracks from attacking jb_farley, who, of course, could not stay awake long enough to enjoy being mauled and mutilated, so it curled up to sleep at a safe distance.
The other contestants, who have been unsettlingly silent, may be hatching nefarious plots. . .
Ogre hangs up his Ogrephone ™, on which he has been talking to his girlfriend, the Ogress, for the past two days. It takes ogres a little while to get up to conversational speed.
Actually he doesn’t so much hang up the phone as drop it on the ground when it becomes apparent that it is either growing or he is shrinking.
He suddenly realizes the giant Ogre is knee-high to a spider…literally.
Oh goody! Another spider-sized contestant! Hey Smoothy, should we ask this Ogre (and maybe the Ogress) if they would like to join forces with us? And they have an Ogrephone tm.
Whaddya think?
But what if everyone else went home?
-------
-----////\\
Hey Ogre, how much sleep do you require? As much as that jb_farley character?
Ogres only take a break from the cartoon antics of fun MPSIMS threads when they’re not behind a computer cranking out ArcView coverages. If, however, they need a break from said activities, well, they just wander on in to the valley and add to the chaos. This will most likely happen again sometime tomorrow morning.
Slowly waking from her venom-induced torpor, purplebear finds herself wrapped up with lots of spider webs. Gently breaking the bonds, in case any li’l spideys may be around, she gets up, and groggily heads towards VB, Trkr, and jb to check on them.
Oh, and Trkr: FYI: I always match!
jb, uhh…thanks, but I’d rather you didn’t use…erm…that part of my anatomy to steady yourself on. Ooops! See what I mean? 
Now, what’s this I see crawling up my foot? Bending down, she sees a very tiny Ogre, so she picks him up in her hand. Bringing him up to her face, she blows gently on him to get off the rest of the webs hanging off of him, and he laughs. And, btw, Ogre, I may be a purplebear, but I am decidedly not fuzzy. Well, at least…that is to say…:o Oh, never mind.
Still a bit groggy from the venom and being hit on the head by one of her Mr Bear’s anvils, she decides to sit down again, and looking around for a clear spot, she wanders over by the tree that’s been planted upside down. Now, if I could just think what to do next…
and starts shepherding the baby spiders away from the danger zone. She tries yelling at PB, but PB is murmuring at a much smaller Ogre. YIKES!
Luckily, just at that moment, jb_farley, who has fallen near PB, lets out a huge snore-sneeze, and scatters all small beings out of harm’s reach (and gives them an unwelcome shower, but hey, at least they aren’t squashed).
PB thinks Ogre might make a nice George, and loves him and hugs him and tries not to squash him (revenge is sweet but not cruel).
Smoothy and the Spiderettes, who are now perched not too far from the air compressor, sneak toward the controls. . .
Spider mama, showing her true nature, has become entangled in some of her own threads, and is busily trying to disengage. . .
-----:o
—////\\
Leaving her an open target for some random orange cat. . .
thnks to the wonders of conservation of mass, jb_farley finds himself growing ever larger in his sleep, dwarfing even the previously prodigous Mr. Ogre. Unfortunately, he was not alerted to the removal of the cat, and has embarked on an eating spree to get rid of it. First he swallowed a dog, then a dogcatcher, then the dogcatcher’s angry ex-wife, than the ex-wife’s auditor from the irs, then libertarian who doesn’t like the IRS none too much, then…
until, th next thing that you know, jb_farley has swallowed the enitre bunch of thread members into his engorged gullet. Is this the end of spider woman? what of purplebear? will they see that piece of bubblegum he swallowed 6 years back? yes, folks, it seems as if a final, death-royale, battle to the max, thunderdome scenario is about to unfold!
beware the evil Gall Bladder!
Spider Woman posits to the rest of the crew imprisoned inside jb_farley’s stomach: “Do ya suppose his stomach lining is ticklish?”
[And if ya swallow this one, I know of a bridge you can swallow too.}
Having had just about enough of this, and tired of the slobber all over his flight suit, VB draws his sword, and as he slides over the back of jb’s tongue, jams the sword deeply between two molars, and having arrested his slide, pulls some spidy thread from his pocket.
Quickly making a loop in it, he lassos jb’s uvula, pulling it tight. This causes jb to gag, which spews VB out to a soggy landing on the grass.
The gagging soon turns to retching, and all the thread members are spewed out as well, with Catrandom absolutely disgusted, in her fastidious way.
Seeing all this, VB stands in front of the gigantic JB, and muttering something about wanting his sword back, starts jumping up and down to get jb’s attention.
“Eat me! Eat ME!” VB screams at the top of his voice…
Awww…I wanted somebody to light a match in there, a la classic cartoons! That’s OK, though, because jb’s saliva neutralized the cursed alum water, and as soon as they’re out on the ground, they all resume their normal size. Since we’re talking conservation of mass here, jb shrinks as well. Suddenly, all the soggy, stinky, partially digested contestants turn as one and give jb one hell of a nasty look…
Oh man, are you ever in for it!
jb is nervous as hell, and he’s not going to take it! he upchucks a few dead cats, then passes out.
While purplebear is holding and hugging and loving on, and trying not to squish Ogre <you’re right, Spider W. I’m not cruel> she suddenly finds herself being swallowed by the now gargantuan jb. Tumbling down helplessly into his stomach, she does manage to retain hold of Ogre, so he isn’t squished or stepped on or worse.
Ok, now what do we do? She wonders, as she then hears, along with the others, the unmistakable sounds of someone gagging. But, before anyone can react, jb retches everyone up.
All together now: EWWWWWWWW! :eek:
Sitting up, purplebear finds herself partially on top of StrTrkr, and next to Smoothy, Spider Woman and a pretty randomcat. She hears shouting, as she’s trying to clear all of the slobber goop off her face, and looks up to see VB trying to get jb’s attention.
Helping the others up, and apologizing profusely for landing on top of Trkr, she sets Ogre down next to Smoothy,asking her to keep him safe. She then heads over near VB, hoping to help him with his plan of ‘internal attack’. <I saw MIB too!>
Wow!!! Standing up and brushing myself off. Thank you sooo much Trkr. That was so refreshing. Now wait here… Hey, PB, look, I have a room full. Here, put these on and I’ll put these. Running back to Trkr… Oh, Trkr… Purple panties, Want a peek!!!
Thanks for the re-inflation, Spidey. Just in time to accept delivery on another FedEx package, this time from Amazon.com.
Opens package and pulls out a copy of “Better Living through Hypnotism.”
Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just readin’…
As everyone shrinks down to size, the sword starts to protrude from jb’s mouth. “Cool! I won’t have to dive for it!”
Wrenching it out of jb’s mouth, VB tells him to go find a dentist as he wipes and impaled cat or two from the blade.
Walks over to GBS: “Sure, sweetie! I’ll peek! I’ve always like the look of purple panties against pale, smooth skin!”
Thanks, GBS! I needed some clean, dry ones to wear, after being in jb’s tummy. <runs behind a tree to change quickly into them> No fair peeking til I have them on, VB!! You either, Trkr! 
VB, I’m glad you got your sword back, but did you have to impale cats too? :eek:
Now running around in her very damp(from jb’s slobber) sports bra and nice clean panties, and some cut-offs she found nearby that just happen to fit, purplebear sneaks up behind Thespos and Bonks him on the head with a stray anvil still lying around. He falls over, eyes glazed, and still muttering to himself.
She then sneaks up behind VB, busy making google eyes at GBS, and hits him upside his head with a large, fluffy pillow she found laying around next to the tree the spider kidlings are huddled under.
Not noticing that sneaking up behind her was…