So I’m thumbing through all 100+ of my cable channels, looking for something good on the ole idiot box. Get to channel 98, and I nearly jump through the roof! There, looking back at me (sort of) is the meanest-looking, wrinkliest, oldest nun, in the full habit get-up, yelling something at me. As if this isn’t a scary enough sight when you’re not expecting it, the damn woman has a full, pirate-esque, eye patch! Great googley moogley, that woman’s a sight!!! Is this something unique to Dallas, or is she nationwide?
Now I’m sure someone will come back at me with some sad story about this woman, and how she lost her eye to cancer, running with scissors, etc., and I truly sympathize. But damn, woman, how about a career in radio, for Chrissake!!!
<<<Is that a lightening storm brewing outside my window???>>>>
Ahh! Catholicism’s answer to televangelism. (With us, if you weren’t already on our side, she’ll never lure you in!)
Of course, she’s still mad that Pope John XXIII convened that council in Rome that let in all the silly stuff, so she does tend to come across as a bit ornery.
I watched the episode with where it was an anniversary or something. They made her a cake, and she and this priest were throwing cake crumbs at each other and had icing all over their faces.
It was pretty cool.
Well, you don’t have to be particularly telegenic to get into religious broadcasting. For Lord’s sake, has anyone watched TBN? Quite the freak show. There’s Jan Crouch, who makes Tammy Faye Bakker look like a natural woman: http://www.tbn.org/about/newsletter/0111/011101.htm
Benny Hinn, wonder what God has to say about that elaborate comb-over: http://www.bennyhinn.org/television.asp
Bob Larson, ditto, on the horrible plug job: http://www.boblarson.org/BobsBio/bobsbio.html
And then there’s that burn-victim guy (can’t find him on the TBN site).
Sometime in 2001 Mother A. suffered a stroke, with resulting hemiplegia – her “new look” is the result of facial paralysis, her L. eye may have been left permanently dilated (thus requiring it be covered) or pointing in a distracting direction. I had a great-aunt with the same condition.
I must admit I have this weird fixation on Mother A. I was brought up in the traditional Catholic manner, went to a Catholic school for 1-8 where all the nuns looked like her, was an altar boy for Christ’s sake (mainly 'cause being an altar boy got you out of school if there was a funeral. It’s sad, we would root for funerals).
When I’m channel flipping, I just get fascinated that a network like EWTN exists. Mother A. is hysterical enough, she tells these long rambling stories occasionally throwing in a joke that she finds funny but doesn’t make a lick of sense. Then a few times a year, she turns her show into a sort of Catholic QVC selling ceramic Jesus’ and what-not (BTW, have you read Sport Jesus over at the Brunching Shuttlecocks?)
I’m glad you brought up the QVC connection. I honestly thought I imagined the fact that it was occasionally a quasi-QVC channel.
And I saw a little of that guy with the bad burns the other day. I forget what he was talking about, but he seemed to be spewing some sort of venow that I actually found disturbing. I want to say it had something to do with the terrorist attacks, but not for sure. Wish I could remember what it was…
And I seriously do sympathize with the fact Mother A. had a stroke. Not trying to minimize that fact in any way. She does strike an imposing figure now, however. I just keep thinking about the nun smacking the hell out of Jake and Ellwood in the Blues Brothers…
OK. Sympathies and all for the stroke.
But does the eyepatch have to be the size of a garbage can lid?
Geez the thing covers half her face. And gloss black!? It took me five minutes before I noticed the right side of her lip was resting on her shoulder!
