What color is the “This is just a hanky, and I’m not gay!” hanky?
Whatever color hanky you choose. Just as long as you aren’t picking up guys in a gay bar at the time you’re wearing it. 
That’s the one that’s NOT sticking out of your back pocket. You really don’t want to know what Springsteen was inadvertently advertising in the 80s with that red hanky…
Springsteen? Springsteen? No fuckin’ way! Chuck Norris, sure, no doubt. But Springsteen?
So the code thing just applies to hankies, right? I hope I haven’t been sending the wrong message with the bullwhip in my anus…
No fear hon, that’s the code for ‘soccer mom’.
…
Is there a right message to be sending in that particular case?
“I want federal funding”. 
I thought flannel shirts, but that’s Lesbian Nation.
I’m just really stoked about the new Indiana Jones movie.
When I counter picketed against Fred Phelps he used to holler at us for being “crop headed whores”. We’d just laugh and run our fingers through our hair, fluffing it up. So he tried calling the cops on us for “laughing too loud and disturbing the peace.”
I must be straight then. I don’t even know what half of those colors are. Do I have to become an Oklahoma Republican now?
:dubious: Some sort of cruel prank played on color-blind gay guys?
I can’t even tell green from brown in broad daylight, completely sober… Wait, how has there not been a whacky comedy about a color-blind gay guy misreading hanky codes at the gay bar?
“It’s a brilliant strategy! First we send in the lesbian platoon. ‘YAAAH! RAPISTS PATRIARCHY YOU’RE GONNA DIE!’ War’s over, send in the gay men to clean up. ‘Oh my God look at this mess. You call that architecture? Burn it down, we’ll say the lesbians did it.’” - Maggie Cassella
I fear that they will commandeer someone’s penis and crash it into my rectum, killing thousands. I’m not sure how it will kill thousands, but I am rightfully fearful of finding out. Or even worse, what if it was my penis that was commandeered?
I see a lot of threat-level-minded bars around here that have flags out front with all of the threat level colors on them. Maybe I had better start hanging out at one of those to be on the safe side.
You know, we have a word for people who require constant vigilance to be able to keep from having gay sex, it’s GAY.
I’m gay, and unfortunately, I don’t need special measures of any kind in order not to have gay sex these days. 
The best ones do
Not to worry, we live in Minnesota. To commandeer would be rude. Also pretty safe in Iowa, where they can’t spell it.