That was sarcastic response to your claim that all males are predators and abusers. “Rape” was a metonymy for “predation and abuse”. The point was not to refute the idea that all men rape, which you indeed did not claim. What you did claim was just as much sexist bullshit, though.
Geeze Diogenes, the fact that the kid enjoyed the experience doesn’t make it OK.
Let’s suppose your 14 year-old daughter got nailed by Brad Pitt or whoever she thinks is cute. Would you be OK with that? Say “Good job honey!” or something?
And yeah, when I was 14 I was fantasizing about Christie Brinkley. So what? Most 14 year olds (male or female) are in no position to accurately understand what sex involves (hell, most of us barely understood the plumbing at that point), so the fact that they get all hot thinking about whoever doesn’t make much difference. Look at the photos of that woman, she’s a pretty attractive 23 year old, and the first place she goes looking for sex is with a kid? The reason that we’ve got statutory rape laws is that young people are not able to give informed consent. Your average 14 year old is physically capable of the act but that’s about it.
Loopydude, I’m sure that such a relationship wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows hundreds of years ago but neither did drilling holes in your skull to let out evil spirits. The fact that people did stupid stuff centuries ago doesn’t make 'em OK today 
Where are all the Van Halen fans?
If the boy was unwilling or coerced, then yeah, he was a victim.
But speaking for myself, when I was 14 I would killed or died to get it on with hot 23 year old teacher. Especially a blonde blue-eyed one, that looked like this. I assure you, I would have jerked to her image in my mind at every opportunity. I’d have daily excused myself from her class, went to the bathroom, entered a stall, and beat my dick like it owed me money.
THERE IT IS!!
Thats the reason the Christian Right is so enamored with GWBush! :smack:
Sometimes I weep for this country O_o
PLEASE!!!
Some of you people are insane (oops-- some of your posts could come from an insane person…)
this is the luckiest kid in the universe for the week, maybe he’
s lucky kid of the year!!!
Go look at that picture!!
Oh my god, something you and I agree on! :eek:
Actually, I don’t think its acceptable behavior on her part. But two things:
[ul][li]Its NOT the same as a 23 year old guy & a 14 year old girl[/li][li]Going by this and most cases like this, it can NOT in any way, shape or form be considered rape[/li][/ul]
Whether its politically correct or not 14 year old boys are vastly different than 14 year old girls, both emotionally & physically.
And in terms of this case, while I don’t think she should get off scott free, I don’t see the boy suffering any long term, irreparable harm. He may very well have initiated things, and even if not he was a willing & able participant. He went back for more, involved his 15 year old male cousin to help him, and bragged about it.
Some of us guys can start treating women like crap at a young age (whether we get to bang one at 14 or not)…
Why, because we DON’T see all men as predators? I don’t understand here.
I’m with you, Diogenes, in that there are differences in how men and women view sex.
I took a class on Human Sexuality recently…I don’t feel like digging out my notes RIGHT this second ;), but there are plenty of studies proving that, on average (note the on average part–there are certainly plenty of exceptions but this is the general case), men are more interested in casual sex than women and are more easily able to separate sex and love, and there are good evolutionary explanations for why this would be true. I think it’s true cross-culturally too.
It is true, though, that using one’s influence and age as power over somebody for sex is bad bad bad.
I’m shocked that so many of you are perfectly fine with sexual abuse as long as the victim is a male, or not assume that a 14 year old girl can “want it” just as much, and be just as unprepared psychologically.
I’m gonna seem like a hypocrite here…
If I had the chance at 14 to have sex with a 23 y/o I would have jumped at it with no problem at all.
But…now I’m a 36 y/o with a 14 year old daughter.
I would probably want to kill someone her age having sex with her. Let alone a 23 y/o… :mad:
Yeah, right. People always say things like this when the teen boy/older woman issue comes up here, but I don’t think it’s true. Despite what the law says, I’ve never seen anything to indicate that people in general are concerned about protecting teenaged girls from older men. Quite the contrary, the common response seems to be to blame the girl for “seducing” or “tricking” the man. In my youth I knew plenty of teenaged girls who slept with older (sometimes much) older men, and the general reaction of outsiders was that the girl must be a little slut, not that the guy did something wrong. The men in such situations may be seen as pathetic losers who can’t get women their own age, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone in real life calling for their heads…or other body parts.
The point is that many guys would have KILLED to be in this kid’s position (or positions). We fantasized about it, and would have sold our mothers into slavery to obtain it.
Yes, he may have been coerced or unwilling, in which case it’s firmly in the abuse column. But it’s ignorant to ignore the fact that many 14 year old boys wake up in a puddle of their own goo after having the finest dreams about such a situation.
Can it be abuse in any real sense if it’s the culmination of one’s most desirable fantasy?
On preview, I see your link. If anybody was claiming abuse was impossible, it might be relevent. For the third time, if he was unwilling and coerced, it’s abuse. BUT HE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN UNWILLING.
I would have been extremely willing, and there was nothing I would have wanted more. NOTHING. Zagadka, would I have been a victim in your eyes?
Not all abuse feels bad, and that doesn’t make it OK. :-p
Calling it “abuse” if my fanstasies are fulfilled without coersion is an insult to the real abuse that takes place.
Of course it isn’t OK. I don’t think the effect is the same for a male of that age however. I still believe that it should be criminal and is deserving of punishment.
How stupid is this lady anyway? Teenage boys aren’t known for keeping there mouth shut on sexual liasons.
As mentioend, a 14 year old girl may dream of having sex with her favorite movie star or whatever - THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT OK.
NOT calling abuse abuse is an extreme disservice to the abused.
I did myself have one teacher who I spanked the monkey about on occasion, and if she had come on to me, I probably would have come on myself right there, given my age and hair-trigger excitability (sexual endurance is not a teen male strong point, if memory serves, which makes me wonder what this woman was after…clearly not the best sex).
The subject of the OP is better looking than that teacher…
Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I’m guessing if the two of them hadn’t been caught, he’d likely be a very, very, very happy camper for a long time. But that romance would be doomed from the outset to crash and burn, and the breakup could be ugly. Or not. It really would depend on the kid and the woman, and how emotionally invested they got in the whole thing.