You must have missed the class the day we were taught that all sex with someone in a position of power automatically implies coercion.
Zagadka – send Mr2001 your notes, would ya?
:rolleyes:
thanks to all for posting those photos. . .man, what’s her husband giving her so that she goes looking for it from 14 year olds.
When you make such an unsubstantiated, overly broad, and ridiculous generalization you blow a hole in your credibility so large that it can’t be countered. I haven’t bothered to read the entire thread to find out if you defend this ridiculous statement, but even if you were to attempt to I wouldn’t believe a single thing you said.
Yowzah.
Yep, there is no question in my mind: She couldn’t get me out of my pants fast enough. I’d have probably blown my first load before my fly was unzipped. Fine, I’m a dog. I’d be a goddamn liar if I claimed I’d object even slightly to her having the filthiest, kinkiest, wildest sex with me her imagination could conceive.
One thing I would not have done is tell anybody else about it or let anyone be privvy to the activities. I’d want her all for myself. No fucking WAY would I have let my cousin be present for an encounter, or anyone else with the ability to speak or otherwise communicate except her. That’s a secret you guard with your life, because once the cat’s outta the bag, the sex stops, and public humiliation is soon to follow.
I say this because I’ll eat my own dirty shorts if this kid didn’t think he’d hit the jackpot of all jackpots when Ms. LaFave first took him to home plate. I’m sorry. I want to feel sorry for the kid. I want on some level to believe that he was a helpless victim in all of this and deserves complete absolution and infinite coddling untill his fragile psyche is healed and made pure again. But that’d be absurd. This kid knew damn well what was happening was not kosher, and went with it anyway because he is a hormone-wracked teenage boy who would give his left nut for the chance. This is why all fathers of teenage girls should probably have their daughters followed by armed guards until they’re 18, guards prepared to use lethal force if a boy so much as says hello to her. Because we know where that’s going to lead.
OK, I’m kidding, but let’s get real. As Dennis Miller said “You women want to fuck, but we need to fuck!”
Now, if third-hand testimony is to be believed, the woman said she was doing this partially because it was seen as taboo. In other words, if it were legal, she would have been less likely to do it! Irony strikes, in this particular situation.
I’ll state that the following is only my opinion - lest someone accuses me of junior modding, which is not my intention. That being said:
That comment was entirely freaking uncalled for, Zagadka. I realize that this may be a hot-button issue for you, but that’s no reason (again, IMO) to make comments such as the quoted one, especially outside the Pit.
If that’s the case, the chick’s a freak and clearly the husband couldn’t keep up with her. It is FREAKING inconceivable to me how any man would let that piece of ass get away…adding insult to injury with a 14 year old no less.
Insecurity be damned, any man even looked at her, I would be throwing punches.
Yes I agree what she did was over the line, but geez…and what kind of idiot is that 14 year old doing opening his mouth like that? That for me is PROOF that he wasn’t mature enough for that relationship.
He was and acted like a child. She gets the hammer dropped on her.
Zagkada
[Moderator Hat ON]
That is quite enough, Zagkada. You have been warned several times. I suggest you moderate your tone or you will not be posting here much longer.
[Moderator Hat OFF]
Overly broad, yes.
However, based on the general tone of “yea, go little boy, you’re living my dream,” I think it is not “unsubstantiated”
Jesus, you’d think you all have never heard of hyperbole. My point is that the kind of behavior associated with being a sexual predator and abuser is more accepted socially as normal male behavior. No one has a problem with it, since, as demonstrated in this thread, males are “supposed to” have sex with anything that moves, especially if it is a pretty teacher.
I was sexually active as a very young adolescent with adult men. I wasn’t at any time molested or abused. I was almost always the “aggressor” (strange word in this context, there was no aggression!). I said no to those who didn’t appeal to me, yes to those that did. I tormented my poor Jr High teachers, (just like a bad rock-n-roll cliche’) and fortunately for their careers they kept their hands and other body parts to themselves…but make no mistake, I was the one making the moves on them. For the record, it is always wrong for someone in a position of authority to have sex with a person over whom they wield that authority. But I don’t have any easy answers about when the age of consent should be. My husband is a survivor of sexual abuse. I know the difference. There is one. But don’t ask me where to draw the line.
No, I think it was entirely freaking called for.
The number of people in this thread advocating statutory rape is apalling. I merely express that, and everyone blows my head off.
Sorry you don’t like facing the facts. O_o
I originally reacted with the “lucky kid” … but some posts here make a good case for not making exceptions. Still the fact that the kid didn’t complain… that he kept the relationship going. That others knew about it probably also meant the kid bragged about it.
(Sidenote - I’ve seen other cases of where having “intimate” tatoos were a giveaway… I don’t recomend naughty girls having them)
Now this is absurd… way to harsh… but its the USA.
Overall its obviously the kid was not a victim… though the teacher certainly did wrong. The media fuss and rigid american morality are certainly being overblown here.
Yeah, and woe to any girl who says no to him from now on. The hot teacher wanted it; why don’t you? Are you uptight or something? C’mon, everybody’s gonna believe we did it anyway if you’re out with me!
How about this.
All of you abuse supporters scour the web and try to find one peer reviewed study that shows that adolescent sex with adults is OK and normal, results in no side effects, and is merely fulfilling the wishes of those involves, so is a good thing.
You go find all of those studies, and get back to me with your expert theories and lines of doctors advocating this kind of abuse.
Hm.
I had a teacher who looked quite a bit like that when I was… eleven, I think. I didn’t even totally understand what Mr. Winky was FOR at that point, but I’d have been more than happy to use it on HER, anything she wanted!
At fourteen, I’d have been only too happy to fling myself at a woman who looked like that, sure.
I’m inclined to think I would have been kind of blameless at that point, because at fourteen, I was more or less a seething hormonal machine. I tried to be a human on occasion, even succeeding from time to time… but if a woman like that had offered, my dignity and sense of restraint would have been right out the window, chums.
This brings us to the question of whether or not it’s “okay.”
My first reflex is to say, “hell, no.” It’s the civilized reflex, the part that says, “Any time an adult and a non-adult engage in “adult” activities, there MUST be some coercion on the part of the adult. Stands to reason.”
On the other hand, the fourteen year old boy who still lives within my aged and weathered soul says, “Yeah, right. Like hell.”
After some thought, though, I have to say “She’s a teacher. She is a trusted authority figure. She shoon’t ha’done that.”
Partly, I think, because it is a betrayal of trust… not necessarily the boy’s trust, but that of his parents and of society. As a teacher currently seeking work, I am here to tell you that it is EVERY district’s *worst nightmare * to discover that they have hired a child molester to work with the underaged!!!
When I am hired by a school district, I’m basically an employee of the community and the state. Seems like one of the unstated-but-heavily-implied aspects of the contract is “Thou Shalt Keep It In Thy Pants When Dealing With Our Children, Dickhead.”
Seems to me that this would apply even if the student in question was eighteen or older, even. Nobody hired me to check out the babes in Senior English, and nobody hired her to inspect the young boys of the district, either. A teacher is in a position of trust, even if that trust is rapidly diminishing to the point of McEducation, and it seems to me that developing a relationship with ANY student that goes beyond the public and platonic is, frankly, a breach of ethics… regardless of the circumstances.
This, unfortunately, means that it really isn’t acceptable to develop any other kind of relationship with one’s students until they’ve graduated, and are no longer subject to your authority (in addition to being 18 or over); this pretty much eliminates any questions of propriety…
This also brings up the question of “what if the younger person initiated the relationship, and manipulated the elder into it?” Well, being a teacher presupposes that you’re SMARTER than the little darlings, and therefore able to deal with their blandishments and manipulations. They CAN be manipulative as all hell, true. Been there, done that. The only solution to that is to avoid even the APPEARANCE of impropriety, and to avoid any situation that might set up that appearance. One of my jobs involves testing students individually, right? I’ve made it clear in the past that I will NOT test a female student alone in a closed room. Nope. Gimme a big window, gimme an open door, gimme a semipublic area or a video camera, or SOME stinkin’ thing; I will NOT put myself in a situation where one word from a child could devastate my career!
Sounds like perhaps someone got a little too tempted.
Alternately, how about this. You scour the web and find one peer-reviewed study that shows that male adolescent sex with adults is never okay and is never as harmless to the adolescent as sex with other adolescents. You’re the one making that claim; back it up.
Note that peer-reviewed studies usually aren’t published in the format of lists of “myths and facts.”
And here’s another idea. How about you lay off with calling folks “abuse supporters” after a moderator has already warned you in this thread, hmmm?
Daniel
Zagadka, you’ve posted many times in the ‘Marijuana should be legalized’ thread. Surely you’ve seen by now that for most of us, the law does not dictate morality. You want to argue that this kid was victimized? By all means, do so. However, many of us (me included) remember exactly how victimized we would feel if we were in the situation as it has been presented. Now, I have very few hard facts about this case. It may very well be that this kid was in fact victimized and was indeed coerced into having sex. If you can cite a statement from the kid testifying to this, we’ll all shut up. However, in the absence of such a statment, it seems reasonable to assume that the kid feels as most of us would feel in his place.
Back to my main point: yeah, it was statuatory rape. When I found the wonderful world of online porn many years ago, I committed several offences of corrupting a minor (myself), as well as several acts of child molestation (also against myself). Frankly, when it comes to sex, the law sucks. Show demonstrable harm or that rape in an actual, as opposed to legal sense, occurred.
I can imagine young kids now having sex with older women and blackmailing them… 16 yrs old is quite a high age.
“Don’t you have a child to be raping?” is (again, IMO) a very nasty dig at a particular poster (one who, coincidentally, happened to state that he thinks it’s wrong for adults to engage in sex acts with minors. I think that’s a far cry from saying something reasonable like, “The number of people in this thread advocating statutory rape is apalling”.
If you’d like to discuss my comments more, we can take the discussion elsewhere.
Hyperbole is an outlandish exageration used as a figure of speech: “His nose was as big as a banana.” Calling all men predators and abusers isn’t “hyperbole,” its a statement filled with malice and venom that is uncalled regardless of the topic for and, once again, destroys whatever credibility you may have had on the subject.
As to your point, I couldn’t care less what your point is. You could have the most well-thought out, well-documented case since Perry Mason was practicing, and I sitll wouldn’t give the slightest bit of credence to whatever you had to say.
You don’t do your cause any favors.
As to the topic at hand - the teacher’s actions were wrong. She abused a position of trust and power and I doubt that any 14 year old boy in Western society, regardless of his wishes and dreams, is emotionally mature enough to carry on a concensual sexual relationship.
Obviously. But how do they learn to carry on a meaningful relationship? Books? Watching their parents? Or by trying and, if I remember my youth, spectacularly failing? (Granted, this is still another matter entirely than the primary purpose of this thread, which I still think is generally a poor idea.)