Okay, I know what they want, so where the heck are they?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Okay, between the many threads here, Maxim, and having predominatly female friends, I have a decent idea of what girls want. (I suppose the right thing to say is that they want me, but they just don’t know it yet. :D) The thing that sucks, however, is that I don’t even know where they are.

Oh sure they’re all over the place, but I’m having trouble finding the venue that both I and the courts of law would agree is the right one for getting to know them. Since I’m not a terribly outdoorsy person, group activities of that sort won’t work well for me, nor does work (as I have the dubious honor of being one of the youngest people at the company I work for). Nor am I having any luck with the FOAF route, as most of those are spoken for or otherwise uninterested.

At the moment, I’m reinitiating myself into the bar scene, though I’m not sure this is the way to go either. So, any advice on where to at least attempt to meet The Perfect Girl? And while we’re at it, any surefire ways to break the ice? (Keep in mind that I tend to get stumble-tongued around Perfect Girls.)

In the meantime, the search continues…

2

I think your post says it all. (And this is not a flame–I like you very much. Not that way!)

First of all, if you are looking for the “perfect girl,” you will never find her. I didn’t think my husband was anywhere near perfect when we met, and I don’t think he’s anywhere near perfect now, but he is the bestest husband ever. Quit looking for perfection, and start looking for someone that you like.

Second, don’t ever assume that you “know what girls want.” Different women like different things. And if you try to do stuff just because you think they will like it, they will know you are faking it. Somewhere there is a woman who wants a genuine KKBattousai, in all his honest glory.

Third, I think you may be looking for a fantasy girl, not a real-live woman. Stop reading magazines like Maxim–they just perpetuate the idea that fantasy girls exist.

As to where to meet women–I dunno. Where do you live, anyway?

3

In my experience, pretty much anything works no matter how meaningless it is. For example:

You: - Hi.
Her: - Hi.
You: - I can balance a spoon on my nose for over an hour. It’s a gift.
Her: - Really?
You: - No, not really. I was just trying to impress you.

At this point you should be able to tell if she’s interested or not. It’s all about getting the ball rolling.

Or you could try:

  • *I like my women like I like my coffee… Covered in beeees![7i]

If she gets the reference, marry her.

4

The fingers you have used to type are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keyboard with your palm now. :rolleyes:

5

Hon, why didn’t you just tell me you wanted to go out with me? :smiley:

In all seriousness, there’s not really anywhere to go to meet TPG. You could always head to places where lots of girls hang out (malls and Backstreet Boys concerts come to mind), but even if you find such a place and meet a lot of girls, there’s no guarantee that you’ll find the one. You might click with none of the girls you meet. This is not to say you can’t find a decent girl this way, but odds are against you finding her before you become disillisioned and cynical about the whole deal.

Not that I think you should stop trying. On the contrary, I like that you are trying. (Sure beats me and my wait-till-they-come-to-you strategy.) Keep it up, I say. Just have patience, and have faith, and something’ll happen.

6

Hate to disappoint, but I’d have to get the reference first… :frowning:

Audrey and GB (in no particular order):
I don’t think I’m looking for TPG, per se, but I kinda want to play the field, so to speak. You know, just to try out this “dating” thing that seems to be all the rage nowadays. Not that I want to be a big ol’ whore (not that the idea doesn’t have some appeal), or look for the future Mrs. KKB, but just to…experience that romantic spark with. (Geez, and I call myself an English major?)

I’m evidently too tired to be coherent, so I’m going to stop now, before I put my foot somewhere unpleasant. :rolleyes:

7

snicker

I don’t know what kind of woman Audrey thinks you want to meet, KKB, but I’d offer that that’s not the right place to try and find her.

It all boils down to what kind of a woman you’re after. In my case, I meet all my women at bars. I like my women dirty and loose and preferably sporting a killer buzz. That’s my perfect woman.

But seriously, going out and trying to find the perfect gal will get you nowhere. Do what you like and the ‘perfect girl’ will be there, right in front of you. Be yourself and the rest will follow.

8

Seriously, I’ve had two great experiences in restaurants. I always have these great stories, that sound so banal in retrospect, so I’m not going to tell them again. There is too much; let me sum up. I’ve had two waitresses hit on me (and one of them started the conversation after we’d paid the bill and gotten up, so she wasn’t just trying for a better tip). Of course, I’m shy (and dense!!), so even after I realized what was happening, I didn’t say anything … but this just happened a few days ago, so I’m going back to that restaurant real soon now. =) Plus a wicked cute friend of mine works at a restaurant, and I know she’s the type to do that, too.

As for Maxim, I read it for the humor value. If it gives you confidence, great. Just don’t let it go to your head. :slight_smile:

I’d agree with CNoteChris – a (female) friend and I go to a certain bar every Wednesday night, along with anybody else who wants to come. She hooks up with a different guy every week. She’s drunk, and that certainly helps, but she sees most of them a few days later, too. Give it a shot (pun intended), and good luck!

9

Hey, I coulda said Britney Spears concerts, ya know! :smiley:

You know, thanks to that “Do you shave your pubes” thread, I had a different type of “buzz” in mind. Sorry, sorry…

10

Take heart, and don’t give up.

First off, as many have pointed out, there are as many perfect girls as there are perfect men i.e. none. So quit searching for them or carrying that mental yardstick around. However, there will be lots you can have a good time with, and that’s a start. And the gems are often not the ones you first notice.

Also, don’t assume you have a clue what any woman wants. You don’t. Not until you meet one and ask. And even then, you might be none the wiser.

And so to the plan…

You say the FOAF route didn’t work. I think it works BRILLIANTLY. May I suggest you revisit this notion, but work a little harder? It’s worth it.

Make a plan. Promise yourself you will call pretty much every friend you have over the next few days or weeks, and set up some sort of social meet, even if it’s just a drink, meal, movie or get-together at your or someone’s house. Tell each friend that you want them to bring along other, new people you haven’t met yet - be they male or female, hot or not.

Be honest. Say what you’re trying to achieve (try a bit harder than ‘get laid’). There will be inertia, negativity and resistance, there always is, but you are charming and confident and persuasive enough to overcome this.

Pursue this until you can see your social circle expanding rapidly. Welcome every new contact. Remember, if you meet a hot girl, you meet a hot girl. If you meet a girl who isn’t hot (in your eyes), well, she may well have hot friends, so you want to know her better. If you meet a guy, he may know some hot girls. So you want to know him better too. So you see, EVERYONE you meet is taking you closer to your goal. Everyone and anyone COULD be the ‘missing link’ to someone special.

I have found this works very well indeed. You just need the honesty, the energy and the determination to make it happen. And if you can’t muster those three qualities, then you probably don’t deserve success anyway… do you?