Hi everyone,so here’s the deal,I use facebook for meeting girls,I know,most will say that I should do it in person,but I have 2 problems that prevent that,I wrote them under,but the thing why I am opening the thread is that I want to know simply what to say to a girl you don’t know at all on facebook if you want to meet her? I know,I know,why would I meet a unknown girl over facebook,well because I live in a small city and most girls are either taken or not interesting to me,but even when I am not searching I stumble upon a lot of girls on facebook that would be perfect for me,but I don’t know them…so what should I tell them in the first message? I tried talking with a few girls,mostly with really stupid messages like ,do I know you?, and so on and some reply,some don’t,one even turned out to be my current best friend,but that just doesn’t really work.
2 reasons:first of all I am an introvert and really shy,not extremely,I can be the loudest in a group of people,especially around people I know,I am perfectly normal,but its impossible for me to go over to a person that I don’t know and ask even what time it is,let alone ,hit, on a girl. Second thing is that I want to know things about a certain girl before I meet her,for example one time I saw this beautiful blonde,I didn’t approach her and I stumbled on her on facebook few days later and she turned out to be an extreme…well slut and before that I had a almost same experience with a girl from school,I met her over facebook and although she looks extremely cute and so on,she is probably the most stupid person I have ever met,trust me,she doesn’t even use grammar at all,so I simply want to avoid girls like that,but I can only do that by meeting people online,too bad that’s still not a ,thing,.
Don’t do it on Facebook. Go to a dating site.
If someone I don’t know messaged me on F’book, I’d think they were a creep and ignore them automatically. On a dating site, however, I would expect it.
You sound less like you want facebook and more of an online dating site like eharmony. Consider using an online dating site (blackpeoplemeet/eharmony/christianmingle/etc) if you want to meet someone who is more likely to talk to you on the premise of starting a relationship (since you are not looking for friends and ar specifically looking for girls). Other than that there isn’t much to meeting people but saying hello. Really whats the worse that can happen?
I wont comment on the whole grammar thing.
arrgh. mobile double post
Moved from General Questions to IMHO.
samclem, moderator
nm
I 3rd the suggestion to stay away from Facebook for that sort of thing. Facebook is for grandparents that want to show off their grandkids’ photos, not so bright political posts and keeping in touch with people you used to know and still want to know just not all that well.
Pony up the money and get on www.match.com. Free dating sites are mostly a waste of time in my experience but things change when women (and men) pony up real cash to get results. People will respond when they signed up for it and have some skin in the game. I have more of them than I know what to do with contact me out of the blue and I didn’t have to do anything except write a unique profile that hits the right buttons and throw up a few well-done photos. I can have a new date every single day if I had the energy or motivation to follow through with it (I don’t). The key is that you have to write a really good profile though. There are tons of guys who think they can throw up some incoherent sentences and a couple of shirtless photos and actually get someone decent. That doesn’t work or at least not for anyone that you would actually want to have around.
Try not to take this as offense but your writing skills as demonstrated in your OP and subpar for both this board and dating sites. People notice that type of thing and judge you on it. You may be able to do much better yourself both here and elsewhere if you take the time to use proper grammar, punctuation and think through what you want to convey before you post it. If that is a stretch, match.com and probably some other sites offer a paid service to take your basic information and rewrite it so that you get the best results possible. You may want to take them up on that.
See if there’s one for people who overuse commas.
I’m a girl, and I find it creepy when guys try to hit on me through Facebook (and yes, it has happened.) Be warned that some other girls may feel the same way.
Fuck all these haters, I say increase your messaging of strange girls on Facebook. If you want to kick it up a notch, ask them if they like dick pics.
OkCupid worked well for me. I my current wife there, as well as a ex who is still a good friend.
Match.com, not so much.
Eharmony was pretty good, too.
I’m pretty sure no girls want a picture of President Nixon.
Yeah but if you never ask, you’ll never know. #timetolive
I met my wife after I saw a picture of her on FB. I asked our mutual friend to introduce us. I don’t think I’m suggesting it is a routine course of action though.
I laughed.
Cite?
“I stumble across a lot of girls on Facebook that would be perfect for me, but I don’t know them”
Until you get to know them, you don’t have first clue as to how perfect for you they are.
And until you accept that as fact, you won’t find a lasting relationship.
Deciding that a stranger is perfect for you, then pursuing her will not end well. You will have very few second dates. You will drive all women away except the most insecure.
I would also recommend Match.com. My good friend found his wife there and I have been in a long term relationship with someone who I met on there. Admittedly I haven’t been on there in a couple of years (because it worked! :)) but my experience was very positive when I was.
Assuming you are under 25, use Tinder. It’s where the under 25s congregate now. Originally, it was more if a hook up site, but my former students (who are legion) assure me its weirdly evolving into a dating site. Which is weird, given how other apps devolve into hook up sites. . .