*‘Oh, the AirForce is the life for me,’ said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
‘I’ll jump my ship and I’ll leave the sea,’ said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
'I’ll fly so high, I’ll pass the sky; and gravitation, I’ll defy
‘I’ll make the ladies faint and sigh,’ said Barnacle Bill the Sailor
'Pretty soon, you’ll lose that grin. Pretty soon, you’ll lose that grin.
‘Pretty soon, you’ll lose that grin,’ cried the fair young maiden
‘Well, I’m rough and tough and I know my stuff!’ said Barnacle Bill the Pilot
'I’ll fly this ship, ‘til I’ve had enough!’ said Barnacle Bill the Pilot
'Oh, I know the struts, I know the fins, I know the barrel rolls and spins
‘I know the Outs, I’ll learn the Ins!’ said Barnacle Bill the Pilot
'You’re out of gas, you must go down. You’re out of gas, you must go down.
‘You’re out of gas, you must go down,’ cried the fair young maiden
‘Well, I’m a cockeyed Finn, if I give in!’ said Barnacle Bill the Pilot
‘I’ve made my way through thick and thin!’ said Barnacle Bill the Pilot
He kicked the bar, he pulled the stick, he hit the ground like a ton of bricks
I’d tell you more, but it makes me sick! Poor Barnacle Bill the Pilot
'Here’s some flowers for his grave. Here’s some flowers for his grave.
‘Many brave hearts lie asleep in the deep,’ cried the fair young maiden*
The version I know is essentially the same as those posted, except it runs:
They stood back to back and faced each other
Drew out their swords and shot one another.
The reason for this is that, as bad as it is to rhyme each other with another, it’s at least an order of magnitude worse to rhyme each other with each other!
One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and killed those two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man - he saw it too.
The version I know has one line that no one has mentioned so far:
'Twas midnight on the ocean
Not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly
As it rained all day that night Two barefoot boys with shoes on
Stood sitting on the grass
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came and killed the two dead boys
I always thought this was Robert Louis Stevenson, 'cause I read his stuff constantly when I was little and this just SOUNDS like him. But apparantly I read something by William Hughes Mearns as well, since that’s who wrote this. Thanks for the memories.
This is the version I grew up listening to on one of my dad’s old Oscar Brand LPs. He kept it in a Mantovani Orchestra sleeve but I saw right through it.
My grandfather and his brothers used to recite something resembling this. I don’t remember the bulk of it, but it began thus:
And that’s all I remember. I’m fairly certain the rest of it, while sharing the “string of contradictions” nature of the story you guys are recalling, had little else in common. I don’t think it shared any of the details.
I feel like maybe it had a line about somebody driving into my back yard and killing my dead cat, but I’m not sure.
I’m certain that after the introductory bit, the thing didnt rhyme.
Who’s that knocking at my door?
Who’s that knocking at my door?
Who’s that knocking at my door, said the pretty young maiden.
Open the door and lay on the floor, said Barnacle Bill the sailor.
Open the door and lay on the floor, said Barnacle Bill the sailor.
The rest follows that same pattern of maiden and sailor–
What is that between you legs? said the pretty young maiden
It’s my pole to stick up your hole, said Barnacle Bill the sailor
What if we should have a baby?
I’ll dig a ditch and bury the bitch.
What if you should go to prison?
I’ll fill my balls and bust the walls.
What if you should get the chair?
I’ll blow a fart and bust the spot.
Those are the lines I remember from elementary school. Seriously, that’s where I learned this. But not in class, don’t be ridiculous.
P.S., I’m sure there are more lines. I just don’t remember them.
It rained all night the day I left, the weather it was dry.
Sun so hot I froze to death Suzanna don’t you cry.
Oh Suzanna oh don’t you cry for me.
I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee.
Ladies and jellybeans,
reptiles and crocodiles,
I stand before you
and sit behind you
to tell you something
I know nothing about.
There will be a meeting tomorrow night
right after breakfast
to decide what color
to whitewash the church.
There will be no admission,
just pay at the door;
there are plenty of seats,
so sit on the floor.
I remember parts of some of these posts as two different poems:
(1)
'Twas midnight on the ocean
Not a streetcar was in sight
The sun was shining brightly
For it rained all day that night
'Twas a summer day in winter
And the snow was raining fast
As a barefoot boy with shoes on
Stood sitting in the grass
(2)
Early in the morning, about the middle of the night
These two dead cowboys got up to fight
Back to back, they faced each other
They drew their swords, and shot each other
Two deaf sheriffs heard this noise, and got up and killed the two dead boys
Now if you don’t believe this lie, it’s true
You can ask the blind man, 'cause he saw it too.
I guess, as things like these are shared, people put their own little twist on them, or tell them the best they can remember them.
Late last night in the middle of the day
(Late last night in the middle of the day)
Two young old men went out to play
(Two young old men went out to play)
Back to back they faced each other
(Back to back they faced each other)
Drew their swords and shot each other
(Drew their swords and shot each other).
Sound off! (One! Two)
Sound off! (Three! Four!)
