(Old) Find the Good in the MMP!

You’re adorable, but I’ve worked, at this job, with people who couldn’t read an analog clock. I routinely have the phone - on a live call - simply handed to me with a muttered, “Shoe they wanna pay over the phone. Here, you got this?”

Me: “Umm, I was in the middle of four different things and have raw sausage all over my hands, but, uh, sure, I got this??”

Fill out a form.

{ snortle }

My uterus hurt just reading that.

How was the sad oatmeal?

I guess I gotta root for the meow, then?

(Just kidding. Go dawgs.)

That second one made my eyes bug out. Holy banana peppers, I couldn’t have pulled that off in my hawt years; I sure as shootin’ ain’t trying now.

I am so sorry; that’s terrible.

The salt won’t stick, unless there’s a lot of sticky dried fruit and/or you gently bake the whole thing with a bit of oil - salt will stick to hot oil and to fruit juice, but just a bag of cold shelf-stable mix, it’ll all simply fall away.

… this is why I’m sometimes very quiet at work.

(Inner monologue to self: "Shut up, don’t say it, don’t say it … ")