Today was my son’s sixth birthday. Yeah littlest QS!
On my children’s b-day, I have kind of a personal custom to do something unexpected and completely out of character. In general, it’s some kind of arbitrary kindness or good deed towards a complete stranger or “enemy”. I figure it banks good karma for me and my kids.
Today, while on the way to dinner with the kids and my ex, I called my ex and extended an invitation to her boyfriend. Now, you have to understand, this is the guy she had an affair with and who was one of the reasons for the end of my marriage. I knew him from out health club and I still see him there several times a week. When I first found out about the affair, I confronted him and then made it my mission to not acknowledge his existance. I looked through him like through a screen door. So, as you can imagine, today was a real switch as we all sat over dinner and talked and joked like we were friends. My kids (son and daughter) and his daughter had a great time.
But here is the real kicker as I quetly reflect on the evening; During dinner, she pulled one of her typical shticks that used to drive me up the wall when we were together. More importantly, she pulled it not with me but with the boyfriend. For the first time in over 15 years, I was not on the receiving end of her irritatingly condescending little control habits. I sat and watched as the boyfriend was now the poor shmuck stuck dealing with her issues of control and insecurity.
God, I’m so fucking glad it wasn’t me. What a lifting and freeing feeling. I wasn’t nuts for feeling the way I did every time I had bear the brunt of her malfunction. I wasn’t crazy and I don’t have to ever feel like that again. Damn, he’s going to wake up a sorry fucker one fine day. What he doesn’t yet know about her, is a lot. Ain’t karma a motherfucker!
A quote from the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz seems appropriate:
“remember it is better to have loved and lost than to have to spend the rest of your life with THAT fuckin’ psycho”.
Good for you. I remember the first time after my EX moved out that I realized, when he started his usual ranting at me while we were on the phone one night, that I could just hang up. That’s all. Hang up. He’s gone. Rant over. Buhbye.
It was a sweet moment. Glad you experienced the same thing.
Oh man, I think I’m going to give THAT line to the next ass who asks me why I’ve never gotten married in a job interview! (yes, personal questions like that are supposed to be illegal here too - but unless you had a notary in your pocket, there’s no point in suing)
Along the same lines…
Was googling the ex to see how lame he’s gotten recently (I know I’m lame by default for googling him). Found out he was kicked off an online extremist political forum for being too much of an extremist for the extremists.
This was the reason that it didn’t work for us. He was not open to any other political/religious views and could only rely on talking points he picked up in his little groups as his back-up. Nothing expounded on, just diversionary one-liners. So, to see that even they could no longer stand him really made my fing day/week/month/perhaps lifetime. It wasn’t me being unreasonable. He really was a fing freak.
Phew, I feel better. I’m glad to see the that other ppl get to enjoy these moments too!
