Hey all,
Thanks for the great advice everyone… let’s see if I can cover all the questions in one fell swoop…
First, to all those that mentioned Cary Grant… GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!
That was precisely who I was thinking about while I was getting ready for the evening.
At the risk of being shamelessly arrogant (indulge me in this thread only): I’m a pretty good looking guy (so I’ve been told). I’m fit. I dress well and with a sense of style. I know how to work a room (if I have to). I don’t scare easy.
So, Canadiangirl , you’ll be pleased to know I showered, shaved just enough to leave a GQ two day shadow, dressed like I just stepped off a Hugo Boss shoot for urban smart casual wear (black cashmere jacket, charcoal slacks, black fitted crew neck sweater over a white t-shirt, untucked). My favourite thumb ring and tank watch, both in stainless. (BTW… I’m in DC these days…)
While dressing I indulged in a B&B martini with ginger and lemon.
Hoped in the car and cranked a great R&B CD with Steve Wonder, Mary J. Blige, and a few tracks from Pulp Fiction.
I arrived 10 minutes before the show. Took a deep breath and walked into the hall.
I was certain of two things… a) our daughter, my ex, dick and dick’s ex would all be seated together and b) they’d all expect me to be extremely cold and unfriendly. In fact, I think they half expected me to sit by myself as far from them as possible.
NO FUCKING CHANCE!
I knew my daughter would be thrilled to see me and be very disappointed if I didn’t sit right next to her (she’s 8 and will always be my baby girl!). She was the first to see me walking up the center isle toward the front of the hall. She jumped up and started waving at me the minute she saw me. Dick glanced back at me with a sense of dread on his face… I got immense pleasure out of that! My ex was pleased to see that I had come but had a worried look on her face as well.
I approached the pew and with my best Mr. Congeniality smile wished everyone a Merry Christmas. Dick mumbled something back but I wasn’t waiting for a response. His ex smiled nervously but politely. My ex was dumbstruck for a few seconds. My baby girl jumped up into my arms and insisted that I sit next to her. I said sure and without a second thought asked everyone if they’d kindly make a little room.
Now keep in mind, my ex is the volunteer co-ordinator at the school and many of the parents and staff know her very well. They were used to seeing dick around with her this past year but also know me well because my daughter attended this school for a number of years before my son enrolled as well. Eyes were definitely on me, and not just because I was well dressed.
I sat down, made a general joke to a familiar face nearby about where they had put the bar this year and then spent the rest of the time giggling and laughing with my daughter.
Before the show, my ex asked if I’d mind doing the filming (as I’d usually do) with the video camera. I didn’t want the responsibility because dick’s kid was also in the show and I didn’t want to be the guy who cut the little spawn out of the shots. I said I didn’t have a clear shot and declined. She then handed the camera over to dick who I think was glad to have something to do and avoid awkward conversation. He sat silently and taped the show like a good little lacky.
My son (5, lights up a room with his smile) saw me immediately from the stage and spent half his perfomance grimacing at me and the other hamming it up with his classmates.
At the end of the show, I ready to do my best Cary Grant and be as gracious as all getout… But that was totally unnecessary… as dick and his minions made a beeline past me and for the door. I walked my kids and ex to her car. Strapped the kids in and kissed them goodnight.
On the way home I pulled up next to them at the light and spent 2 minutes making faces at them. They laughed and made faces back and I even got an out loud laugh from my ex.
But here’s the cherry on top…
This morning, my ex called me and thanked me for being so great and admited that she didn’t know if she would be as civil were the situation reversed.
I said thank you and that she always did underestimate me when it really counted. She had to admit that was true.
And so it goes…
