Try to keep a broad perspective. You and I may not enjoy being in the stink-cloud of a serial farter, but we are a diverse community.
…and today he asks about gold door locks in GQ.
I know that I shouldn’t doxx, but I think I have discovered dude_robert’s true identity.
IIRC, the minimum age for posting here is 12.
You really don’t want him to answer that.
It’s only gonna let you down.
The dude either has a friend or a sock. This is, in any case, remarkably dude-like. Short version: Is it OK to drink hand sanitizer? What if you distill it using salt? OK, never mind, what if I give someone money to buy liquor for me because I’m under age? Will they just take my money and run away?
The participants there seem to have thrashed out the matter of the advisability of drinking a gallon of hand sanitizer, but at least he can be set straight on the reliability of getting someone to buy liquor for you. This is extremely easy. Just find someone loitering in front of the liquor store who looks like a homeless bum or possibly a wasted wino, and tell him what you need. They are there to serve. Since costs can be hard to estimate just give the homeless bum your whole wallet. He’ll get your liquor for you and be back in a jiffy.
Not a troll, but coffinman is reanimating all these old death and burial related threads that’s really kinda bumming me out. He gives good info, but man, it’s a bummer seeing them all.
Yeah, seriously, what’s his deal? I know he’s a funeral director, but he has an AMA thread. He should stick to it instead of spamming up the forums.
And now the mods are starting to lock him down.
[QUOTE=Asimovian]
As you have now been told in another thread and in PM, knock off reviving the old threads.
[/QUOTE]
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20314248&postcount=24
Bah! I can’t always keep up with everything! At least I meant well. 
Picture the poor guy. Everyone avoids him at cocktail parties because who wants to talk to a funeral director? The Yahoo Answers folks want to know about making babbies, not death. It’s a lonely life.
And then he finds a site with intelligent people and lots of death questions. Finally, something he’s an expert at! People will listen to his answers! Everything’s coming up Milhouse.
And then the mods shut him down.
They nailed the threads shut, buried them under ten feet of earth and placed boulders on them. I think the eleventh resurrected thread may have been the final nail in the coffin.
You are dead to me
Oh no! I thought it was just a big mosquito bite. :eek:
“Must eat brains…”
The odd thing, on my phone, is a casket in the ground…some weird ad.
Anyone catching the smell of bullshit from this one?
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=829923
Or, I dunno, maybe it’s stale beer and puke.
I wouldn’t say that the post was well-written, but it doesn’t sound like it was written by someone who was drunk, and according to the O.P., he is drinking heavily all the time.
If the guy isn’t a troll, he’s trying to brag rather than seeking advice.
I didn’t even know what an “8ball” was until I googled it just now. Man, my life is boring. Also, put me down in the “bragging about how wasted he gets (quite possibly based entirely on fantasy) but not specifically for the purpose of trolling” column. For all we know he’s some Mormon 15-year-old living with his parents.
Meanwhile over here a March 2001 joiner has gone Full Trumptard.