Omnibus Trolls R Us Thread

[digs]

Good thing I’m not a mod, because I’d come up with oddly specific bans, stretching on for multiple paragraphs (not to mention spelling out what they would be legally obligated to bake me if they disregarded the ban).

“I’m sorry, John, but before you use the word ‘Reactionary’ in GD, you need to get out of your jammies, and be well into your second cup of coffee. Now, if you want to use ‘Muckraker’ instead, you’re going to have to put on a tie and wait 24 hours between typing and hitting 'Submit”…"

[MrDibble]

@Colibri

The problem is that if you banned them from a forum they would just start inappropriate threads in the wrong forum, and you would have to move or close them.

See, what you should do is, you move them to the forum the guy is banned from, then, since he’s probably subscribed to his own thread rather than getting there from a forum link, he’ll post in the banned forum and WHAM! Warning! Couple rounds of that in rapid succession and the poster won’t be a problem anymore, but he did it to himself.

This is (one of many reasons) why they will never let me mod

[kaylasdad99]

@digs

Good thing I’m not a mod, because I’d come up with oddly specific bans, stretching on for multiple paragraphs (not to mention spelling out what they would be legally obligated to bake me if they disregarded the ban).

“I’m sorry, John, but before you use the word ‘Reactionary’ in GD, you need to get out of your jammies, and be well into your second cup of coffee. Now, if you want to use ‘Muckraker’ instead, you’re going to have to put on a tie and wait 24 hours between typing and hitting 'Submit”…"

I’d join that message board.

Not as a paying member, of course.

[John_Mace]

@Colibri

I can’t recall a case where we’ve instructed a poster not to post in a particular forum. Topic bans yes, but they extend across forums.

I thought Reeder was banned from GD, but maybe my memory is faulty.

[elucidator]

Or maybe it isn’t, and you just don’t remember. I carry ID in my wallet, not so much for being asked to prove who I am, but mostly in case I forget.

[naita]

@CCitizen

It is not John Mace Quotient – it is Post to Thread Ratio ratio.

Mine is 1393 posts: 80 threads or 17.4

Average is 19,223,379 posts: 746,640 threads for 4,970 active members. It is 25.7 – I should post more and start less threads.

Fewer threads.

[John_Mace]

Clarification: My memory is definitely faulty. It’s more a matter of whether it’s faulty on that particular item or not.

Then there’s our very own Der Trihs. I think his ban is self-imposed, but he will claim that he is effectively banned from that forum since he would be “forced to lie” to continue posting there.

[Frank]

@John_Mace

I thought Reeder was banned from GD, but maybe my memory is faulty.

He was banned from starting daily threads about George Bush. If you can trust my memory.

Yep, you can.

[digs]

@John_Mace

Then there’s our very own Der Trihs. I think his ban is self-imposed, but he will claim that he is effectively banned from that forum since he would be “forced to lie” to continue posting there.

Der Trihs and Rand Rover are among a handful of posters where I breathed a sigh of relief when they disappeared.

But what’s the “forced to lie” aspect?

(I’m practicing my eyeroll so I’ll be ready for the answer…)

[John_Mace]

@digs

Der Trihs and Rand Rover are among a handful of posters where I breathed a sigh of relief when they disappeared.

But what’s the “forced to lie” aspect?

(I’m practicing my eyeroll so I’ll be ready for the answer…)

He might have to admit that there could maybe, possibly, theoretically, be one Christian in the world who wasn’t a despicably horrible person.

[kayaker]

@digs

Der Trihs and Rand Rover are among a handful of posters where I breathed a sigh of relief when they disappeared.

Define “disappeared”.
Der Trihs
Last Activity: Today 06:42 AM

[digs]

@kayaker

Define “disappeared”.
Der Trihs
Last Activity: Today 06:42 AM

Oh! I haven’t noticed him in quite a while… either he’s toned down his rhetoric so as to come across as a normal poster, or his “self-imposed ban” is keeping him out of the threads I open*. Thanks for the warning to stay vigilant.

*Hmmm, now there’s a ban I’d like to see imposed:

[QUOTE=Random Mod]

All the moderators got together for a few beers and have come to the concensus that you are annoying a few of our most beloved posters. Please refrain from posting in any threads that digs or kayaker or John Mace have posted in. Here or on any other board. This includes YouTube comments or Wikipedia.
No warning given if you comply.
[/QUOTE]

[El_Kabong]

So I’m reading the Dope just reading along and kind of notice this guy who seems to really be interested in what kind of sandwiches I like and what I want in my tea and has interesting problems he needs help with like a plastic duck that quacks whenever someone turns on a fluorescent light and whether they sew dismembered people back together for the funeral and suchlike and I’m just amazed 'cause I only just noticed him the past few months but he’s been here almost as long as I have. And I don’t think he’s a troll necessarily but he never seems to come back to any of the threads he starts and doesn’t seem to post much to anyone else’s threads and his grammar’s a bit peculiar but anyway I wonder what do you think is up with him then?

[John_Mace]

@El_Kabong

So I’m reading the Dope just reading along and kind of notice this guy who seems to really be interested in what kind of sandwiches I like and what I want in my tea and has interesting problems he needs help with like a plastic duck that quacks whenever someone turns on a fluorescent light and whether they sew dismembered people back together for the funeral and suchlike and I’m just amazed 'cause I only just noticed him the past few months but he’s been here almost as long as I have. And I don’t think he’s a troll necessarily but he never seems to come back to any of the threads he starts and doesn’t seem to post much to anyone else’s threads and his grammar’s a bit peculiar but anyway I wonder what do you think is up with him then?

I don’t know. Why don’t you feed him and see what happens.

[TroutMan]

I always read his posts in this voice. They don’t make any more sense, but I’m guessing it’s pretty true to life.

ETA: and giving credit where credit is due, Frank clued me in to the similarities.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@CCitizen

But I also read many more posts then I write.

Which implies that one watches too much necrophilia porn.

@BigT

My only problem with that is that sometimes it seems some people aren’t in on it.

Oh nos! The internet doesn’t work the way you want it to? Now I has a sad.

And there’s no clear way to let people know that we suspect someone is trolling, other than having a thread like this that you hope people check (and they don’t).

I aglee, no one ever checks these type of threads. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen one.

[Colibri]

@TroutMan

I always read his posts in this voice. They don’t make any more sense, but I’m guessing it’s pretty true to life.

I think of them more in this voice.

[Emiliana]

@El_Kabong

So I’m reading the Dope just reading along and kind of notice this guy who seems to really be interested in what kind of sandwiches I like and what I want in my tea and has interesting problems he needs help with like a plastic duck that quacks whenever someone turns on a fluorescent light and whether they sew dismembered people back together for the funeral and suchlike and I’m just amazed 'cause I only just noticed him the past few months but he’s been here almost as long as I have. And I don’t think he’s a troll necessarily but he never seems to come back to any of the threads he starts and doesn’t seem to post much to anyone else’s threads and his grammar’s a bit peculiar but anyway I wonder what do you think is up with him then?

Never having noticed him before, I’m now going to see him in every thread I open, right?

(Dismembered people should always be sewn back together.)

[CCitizen]

@naita

Fewer threads.

And more posts.

[Ulf_the_Unwashed]

@John_Mace

I don’t know. Why don’t you feed him and see what happens.

It’s the constant use of “then” that amuses me…sounds like someone who has identified a regionalism from an area he/she wants to be associated with and is using it absolutely to death. I’m not sure who says “then” for no apparent reason at the end of a sentence, but I suspect it’s British Isles somewhere. I have a cousin like that–as a teenager he decided he wanted to be Canadian (he was not) and started peppering his speech with things like “toque” and “zed” and the like, and used Canadian spellings such as “centre” and “colour.” Went out of his way to use them.

Anyway, I responded to one of Dunmurry’s posts at some point with a torrent of "then"s, just for fun, but I didn’t expect it would change his posting ways, and indeed it did not.