I’m mildly interested in this woman I met in my apartment complex during the recent power outage following Wilma, and we seem to be getting along pretty well. I’ve hung out with her and another friend a couple of times, and went to dinner just with her once (which I invited her to, very casual). I see the potential for my wanting to take things along a dating path, but for now I’m content with just being friends.
So my question is, if I asked her to go to a concert with me, would that be pushing the friends thing too much (keeping mind that we’ve only recently met)? It’s a smallish club-type setting, a fun band that I was planning on going to see by myself anyway. I really want to avoid any “date” vibes at this point. Is it all in the presentation?
Too far out on a limb, or am I in safe “friends” territory?
She might consider it a date, especially if you go for dinner first, or if you pick up the cost of the tickets. To avoid date vibes, you can:
Go Dutch on the tickets
Invite along extra friends (three people is NOT a date!)
Agree to meet at the venue after grabbing food.
If she suggests dinner beforehand, or can’t think of a friend to bring, she’s probably interested in (or at least okay with) dating you. Of course, just like so many other things, it’s all about perception. If she wants it to be a date, and you think you’d like to date her, then a year from now when you’re really serious, you’ll probably both think of that concert as your “first date”.
I suggest that you mention the concert in conversation, and then if she has any positive reaction at all to the band or the idea (“Sounds like you’ll have fun”) then you can ask her along.
But you are dating, at a very early and tentative level. Taking her to a concert is only as safe or as serious as both of you make it. Just be careful - if you set the boundaries right now as “friends only”, you’ll likely never get to change that.
Another vote for “it’s all in the presentation” with a large dollop of “It depends how much the tickets cost” and a side of “how far out of your routine you have to go to attend the concert”
If you would attend without her, and the concert is soon, and you don’t spend a lot of money on tickets, it is pretty casual. If you would only go because you think she’d like it, and the concert isn’t for three months, and you have to pay an arm and a leg for tickets, it is serious.
I don’t think you can keep your options open like this. You have to choose either friends or dating and see how far it can take you. You can’t switch tracks once you’ve started.
I just went to a concert Monday with a new friend. We had only hung out a couple times before, in large group settings, not talked one on one much beforehand. It’s a ‘he is friends with my friends’ thing and we realized we liked the same band that he had an extra ticket to and noone to go with. I paid for my own ticket. Going to the concert together didn’t seem ‘date-y’ really, but for me that is unfortunate cause I totally dig him. But it was really fun and laid back, but depending on how early you arrive (we got there 2 hours before doors opened!) you will either have a lot of time to talk or you will just be shouting into their ear if you want to say something. But it might depend on the concert. If it is the type where you sit, either at a table of seats - possibly date-y situation. But it seems like the show you are talking about isnt like that, so it will be a more laid back thing, IMO.