On my glamorous swinging lifestyle!

In another thread I mentioned “One Of My Girlfriends” ©™

For some reason, the veracity of my posts is always questioned here. People don’t seem to believe that chewing gum could stop my bicycle wheel, or that Burbank cops could falsely accuse my friend of murder. Whatever. I have never distorted the truth here. I am a long time reader of The Straight Dope, from the very first days. I believe that the truth is important, and hold it pretty sacred. My parent has had no less than three questions answered by Cecil himself.

Yeah, I have three girlfriends. Big fricking whoop. They are all, IMHO, nice looking girls, maybe not Playboy Bunnies, but I was never attracted to that kind anyway. Most important, they are wonderful people, and I feel blessed to know each one.

Girlfriend number one is the love of my life. I went through a long period of my life wondering if I would ever find “the one” and thankfully I finally did. I fully expect to die in her arms. She is the girl I moved to California to meet. She is the yin to my yang. Or maybe the opposite. That kind of stuff is her department. I am the rational logician, she is the astrologer. She used to dance on American Bandstand, and at age 62 still looks very nice. I just turned 50, so we aren’t that far apart.

Girlfriend number two is someone I met on one of my travels. She is from Long Island. She is now 43. Number one doesn’t like to travel, so I used to go alone. Now, when I travel, I meet up with number two. She also occasionally visits out west, or I go back to see her on Long Island. She has always known that we were just party friends, “booty call” if you want.

Number three is something that just happened. She is actually an acquaintance of number one, and they both know about each other, and are fine with it. Well, mostly. But what can I do. I live life on like 200% speed, and a little of me goes a long way.

Most of the time, I am alone. I like to be by myself, and while I am happy to see any of them, they all realize that I have my own life, and one thing they have in common is that they have their own lives as well. None of them are clingons.

I should make the point that My life right now is pretty much shit. Not finding work. To the degree that I am temping and when I am not temping I am collecting recycling from gas station trash cans to eat. My roommate is threatening to throw me on the street if I can’t raise some cash. I could probably couch it for a while at any of these women’s house, but I wouldn’t and couldn’t make it a habit. I have always had work and money, and this is the worst economy I have seen in my lifetime. So yeah, I get laid. But I may be living in a van down by the river. Without the van. Or the river. :mad::mad:

There are all kinds.

Hope you didn’t think my questioning in the other thread was any kind of judgement, I was just unclear as to the nature of your relationship. If you’re happy and your girlfriends are all happy, then you all knock yourselves out.

I was going to respond to him with a “So?” or “And?” but figured it was pointless and a waste of bandwidth or commenting space or whatever.

So: I don’t quite get the point of your message, Shmenge. I’m completely underwhelmed.

Wow, creepy look at me thread.

In the original thread there are so far two references to you having multiple girlfriends and mine is patently a joke.

So, having started an “I have multiple girlfriends” thread, one real response causes you to start another “I have multiple girlfriends” thread.

Will this post cause you to start a third?

You have three girlfriends and none of them can put you up if you face homelessness? You’re doing something wrong.

What’s the big deal about having multiple girlfriends anyway? In the winter of 2001, when I was 26 and newly single, I was dating four girls at once, and it just about put me in a early grave.

Boy, I’ll say… :p:D

P.S. Hope that 2011 is more prosperous for you.

What does that have to do with the OP?

So you and “Girlfriend #2” travel a lot together on the money you make by picking up empty cans, eh?

My only question is: does Girlfriend #1 know about #2 and 3? You’ve neglected to mention this in any of your threads.

Actually, he has mentioned that his two California GFs know one another. It’s possible that he considers the LA - Long Island separation to be sufficient insulation that #1 and #3 don’t need to know about #2.

Beyond that speculation, I make no claims to knowing about how he handles that issue.

I don’t think it’s so much people doubting you have three girlfriends, it’s just that in your original “gf is crazy” post your mention of the other two is entirely gratuitous. You say “I have three girlfriends, big whup,” yet you’re the one who found it necessary to make sure that everyone who read the title of your OP knew you had more than one, even though the other two had nothing to do with the question at hand. It’s like starting a thread about trouble redeeming a coupon like this:

“So I’m at the store on the 1st of the month, and I’m wearing loose pants so the outline of my enormous dick doesn’t make any girls swoon or worse, start a panic about a man being attacked by a giant cobra. Anyway, I try to use a coupon that says “expires Jan. 1st.” The clerk says I can’t use the coupon because it expires on the 1st. I say that it should be good until the end of the day on the 1st. Argument ensues…”

Maybe I do have an enormous penis that tends to either terrify or captivate women, or start panics because of it’s sheer magnificence. Whatever, I have a huge penis. No big whup. Doesn’t mean it has anything to do with my post, and the fact that I slipped a reference to it in there makes me sound like the kind of guy who wants everyone to think he’s freaking awesome because of his huge dick (i.e. a douche), not the kind of guy who just happens to be well endowed but that doesn’t really make a big deal about it (not sure if that kind of person has a moniker).

NOT saying that’s how you meant it or what you were trying to say, just pointing out how it looks to some people.

So I was driving through Massachusetts in my Ferrari, on my way to my old alma mater, Harvard, when I stopped at this gas station, and I noticed I had an old coupon for a dollar off Jack Link’s Smoked Pork Stix. Anyway, the cashier wouldn’t take the coupon! He was being really mean - he almost reminded me a little of this old gunny sergeant from back when I was in Angola with the Marines. Yeah, you wouldn’t know about it unless you have an African history book…but anyway. So while I’m there, I pick up some Trojan Magnums (three boxes, because I have three girlfriends that I’m going to visit) and a case of wine coolers…

I’ve recently been introduced to this world of swinging (which, oddly, involves WAY more people I know then I’d ever have guessed), so I don’t find it terribly odd to believe the OP here. Well, that’s not entirely true: the story is odd to me because, from what I’ve been told and seen, it’s VERY strange for unmarried men to be involved officially in the lifestyle. Well, I mean, they want to be, but it’s frowned on by the other club members. So, there’s that. Then, it’s kind of odd for someone to have three official girlfriends, no wife, and . … well, that’s it really. That’s a bit odd, too.

But it’s possible, I suppose.

Of course, what I’m talking about is a more. . . formal . . . swinging lifestyle. Clubs, parties, blah blah. He might just be a regular guy banging a bunch of chicks, who knows.

He did.

Which gf had the pleasure of going to Barnes & Noble with you?

I think he should marry Fried Dough Ho.

And as an aside, you are met with some skepticism because you have this “I am right, how I perceive every situation is the only correct way, and if you disagree with me you are wrong, and probably gay” vibe that you give off.

It’s a huge turn off to most civilized human beings.

If it’s not relevant to the topic, it’d be in your best interest not to throw in unnecessary details that will only derail the topic.

I played the field back in my heydey. I never, once, referred to a guy I was seeing as “one of my boyfriends.”

But then how did people know what an utter badass you are? :confused: