**how does the Chinese criminal justice system work?
“Clearing House” For (Seemingly) Random Shootings/Killings?
**
Well I wouldn’t go that far…
** How Newspapers Used To Describe Anal Sex
OMG New Shoes!! **
“The accused was charged with giving the defendant a pair of new shoes, which left him walking funny for days …”
(Oh my Og, I think I just invented a euphemism … )
**So, is your pet Rapture-ready?
My dog tried to murder me tonight.
**
The real question is are you Rapture-ready?
** What are some red flags that your potential partner will be inhibited in the sack?
Do you get bored easily? **
You hit a dog on an interstate. What’s the right thing to do?
New puppy!
Old people should bathe more often
Rush Limbaugh Rushed to Hospital
**I’ve got a crockpot! What now?
I want a wok
**
** How Newspapers Used To Describe Anal Sex
Ask the housecleaner who specializes in squalor recovery**
Sounds pretty squalid to me!
By the way, I don’t need someone who who specializes in “squalor recovery”. I can not only recover my own squalor, I can easily surpass it in squalidness.
Mama’s little baby loves shortening–but what does it shorten?
Wieners and weiners
Shortbread: The Anti-Viagra.
**Was Europe (1500-1789) a black civilisation?
No, you ignoramuses, this isn’t racist (or, “Here we go again…”) **
I pit Obama
The system worked
Which system did he break? The federal government overall or a specific department?
** New puppy!
I met a dog on the interstate – what would you have done? **
**Help Us Name Our New Cat
How Newspapers Used To Describe Anal Sex**
I don’t think that’s a very good name.
** I Destroyed a Book Today
They blew up real good!
**
**What’s the most you’ve ever given to a panhandler, and why?
Unpleasant Pleasantries**
I don’t think that’s what they’re after.
**
Suppose we survive 2012, what’s the next predicted doomsday?
I’m generally not a total idiot. But this one time…**
**(Derogatory) Regional Stereotypes Around the Globe
Redheads, Readheads, everywhere! **
Sounds like it’s universal 
I’m generally not a total idiot. But this one time…
I got new glasses, and lost a friend
shakes fist
Music that goes straight to your groin
Dayum! “Sesame Street” really used to Rock & Roll!
Alright, we’re going to keep an eye on you.