Shiver me timbers! Tis that time o’ year agin! Aye, laddies-it’s up the riggin’ and away she sails to ports far and wide, think on.
<looks around for wooden leg; finds it in closet with cutlass>
I’m ready!
(Parrot goes on the left if right handed and vice versa).
I get them, too. 
The parrot shoulder depends on your political bent. Some prefer to listen to the left wing, some prefer the right.
Pirates didn’t wear eye patches because they had an eye cut out, they wore them when above deck, so when they went below deck, they could remove the patch and not have to waste valuable time (for example, during a fight) adjusting to the darkness.
Avast, me parrot always sat wherever the hell he wanted to, and would fly away whenever the swordplay began anyway. Arrrrrrr.
Dammit, I have no idea what I did with those gypsy earrings and headscarf a long while back…
Are we sure it’s not the other way around? At night, especially with no moon, it would be wise to wear an eyepatch below decks (reading a chart by lantern light, for example) to preserve your dark-adjusted vision for sailing the ship.
That seams plausible, also, as the linked article mentions that was the case for airplane pilots before modern cockpit lighting methods were introduced.
Oh Christ, somebody will do a system wide email about Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Then the Boss will get all pissed off and ask me why the IT department lets that happen.
And I’ll have to respond,
Aarrrrrr! Aye, Skipper, shall I keel-haul 'em afore they walk the plank, or shall I just feed 'em directly to the sharks?
dammit
<groans>
brilliant!
You could, of course, always send the e-mail yourself and pass it off as a pre-emptive strike? No?
GT (why don’t we have a pirate smiley?)
I heard only gay pirates wear their parrot on their right shoulder.
Arrr, Skipper, should any of these pox faced, whoreson lubbers be sendin’ email concarnin’ “Be Talkin’ Like a Pirate Day”, should I be keel haulin’ them afore they walk the plank, or just send their email accounts directly to the sharks?
I think it loses something if she doesn’t know about it first…and we should definitely change to to Be Talkin’ Like a Pirate Day.
Don’t forget to wear your Arrrrrrrgyle socks.
I know that in many cases, the navigators would inevitably go mostly or totally blind in the eye they habitually use to sight the sun with their sextant…
Passenger side, in case you need to turn.
Only the ones trying to compensate for a deficiency in other departments and we STILL havent addressed the peg leg question,or now someones had the moral courage to get the subject out into the open ,the hook !which wrist?
Stick it up his mast!
Just thought I’d post this video:
He wears it on his right side, along with his eyepatch
Depends which hand you wipe your arrrrrrrse with