So tomorrow’s Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I’ve been preparing… But one question that I can’t find a good answer to is this: On what shoulder should I mount my parrot?
I mean, I don’t want to get this wrong - it could be rude, it could send an unintended message to other pirates, or I might not be allowed to hang out with the “cool” pirates who wear their parrot on the other shoulder!
Figure out which side pirates tend to wear their eye-patch on. I’m going to guess that nine times out of ten, that’s the side the parrot sits on.
I didn’t know women pirates historically had parrots.
Although I imagine they’d had a cockatoo.
I’ve seen that birds mount from the back. I don’t know if parrots are screamers though.
Just so there’s no confusion, Talk Like a Pirate day is on September 19th. The OP’s in Australia, so it’s already the 18th over there, but for those of us on this side of the date line, it’s still the 17th. Whatever you do, don’t go around talking like a pirate a day early.
Of course, that raises the question which eye I should wear my patch on.
I get jokes.
Yes, that should be claified. I am in Australia, and it’s Already Tuesday 18th. Talking like a pirate a day early would be even more embarrassing than wearing your parrot on the wrong shoulder.
The Parrot is always on the Pirate’s right shoulder.
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=Pirate+with+parrot&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2
Well almost always. I didn’t scroll down far enough. 
On the non-dominant shoulder. You don’t want your swordplay to dislodge the bird.
Real pirates have parrots for both shoulders.
No, real pirates have parrots perched on the top of their heads. Serious.
Post pictures! 
The parrot goes on your left shoulder and the eye patch goes over your right eye.
So what should the self respecting ambidextrous pirate do?
ARRRRRRR!!!
Next question?
Will my pirate friends scorn and mock me if I just have a budgerigar? It is a parrot…
You just have to ask yourself, “What would Captain Pugwash do?”
Usually, the patch is worn over the eye that got cut out in a fight; it doesn’t do any good to wear the patch over the good eye. Like so: :dubious:
For completeness, if your piratical pet is a monkey, it has enough of a will of its own that it’ll sit on whichever shoulder it feels like - right, left, someone else’s. But you still have to clean up after it.
I second this notion. The shoulder where the parrot is least likely to fall off even when doing less physical activities like making a toast.
Also the eyepatch might look better on the opposite eye as the shoulder with the parrot to balance out the accesories.
Jim, lad?