There have been numerous threads where this has been mentioned. Probably most recently this one.
There seem to be some diverse views on it.
IMHO it isn’t true- it may reflect the mindset and circumstances at the time but not necessarily wanton behaviour. Your views?
I disagree with it. It’s one of those black-or-white statements; and of course life (and people’s behavior) is varying shades of gray.
Another one along those lines which I disagree with is “a leopard never changes it spots”. Shenanigans. People can and do change.
Clearly it varies with each person. I’ve cheated, but when it comes down to it it was because I didn’t love or fully respect the person I was with anymore. I’ve since found someone that I love dearly and would never, ever, think of cheating on her. Ever.
On edit, I agree with what grease gun said.
D&R
It’s extremely possible, and highly likely, that a person could cheat, feel incredible remorse, and learn their lesson and never cheat again.
It’s also extremely possible, and highly likely, that a person could cheat, get a big thrill out of it, and continue to cheat.
It’s impossible to create one rule to cover all, or even MOST, people.
It depends. Why with the cheating?
People make mistakes, and sometimes good people do stupid things that they regret. One mistake, no matter how egregious, doesn’t make someone a bad person.
On the other hand, some people are assholes. They’re sort of *generally *unconcerned with other people’s feelings, and tend to believe that their momentary happiness at others’ expense is something they’re entitled to.
It’s usually not that hard to tell which sort you’re dealing with.
Maybe “Once a serial cheater, always a serial cheater.”
I cheated once, under completely shameful circumstances. I will never forget the look of reproach that I received. I regretted that choice for the rest of my life, and it took me years to realize that the damage really was irreversable. That was more than twenty years ago, now - and I think I am fairly safe from relapse.
Been on the other side, understood the circumstance, talked it out and (eventually) had my faith and trust completely restored, too.
People are often better than you might expect, even if most of them are worthless scum.
This is simply not true. There are plenty of people out there who can attest to the fact that people can make mistakes, change their ways, react differently to situations.
In my opinion, there are far worse betrayals than sexual infidelity, yet people forgive those indiscretions all the time. Cheating is not necessarily a dealbreaker.
You so funny. 
Amen. I believe I could forgive my husband for a one-time affair. Other things I could not.
I consider it a myth. I completely believe that some people are serial cheaters who will always cheat. But I think there are others who cheat once out of desperation or some kind of personal conflict and feel terrible about it and will never do it again. My best friend cheated one time, broke off the engagement and hasn’t cheated since nor had any inclination to do so. For her at least, the cheating was an indication that she was in an uhealthy relationship.
I think I have a little problem understanding why people get all up in arms about cheating. I can understand feeling hurt, but I don’t grasp why it, above all other sins, is unforgiveable. I would never cheat on my husband and I feel secure that he wouldn’t cheat on me, but if worse came to worst I don’t see how we couldn’t overcome it. Maybe I’d feel differently if it actually threatened to impact my life. Until it does, my opinion is pretty much useless.
I think if you have a healthy sense of self-respect it doesn’t have to be an unforgivable sin. But the gesture of cheating is such an incredibly disrespectful and selfish one that it calls into question everything that has held the relationship together to tht point. I don’t think it’s about sexual possessiveness as much as it forces you to doubt the motivations and sincerity of everything the person has doe to that point. At best you say, “Meh, their loss” but at worst it becomes a difficult struggle to convince yourself that you’re not really such a loser that you deserved it.
The cheating is not always wrong. Sometimes it’s the staying the relationship that’s wrong.
Bullshit. Staying in the relationship may well be wrong, but that doesn’t make the cheating right.
I believe I’ve said it before, but it’s not the sex that is the big deal in cheating. It’s the lies.
There is no scenario in which lying to your spouse is the **right **thing to do.
Then you dump your so/spouse and move on. You don’t/shouldn’t cheat.
Upon some reflection, I feel like I should clarify that to “there is no scenario in which *systematically deceiving *your spouse is the right thing to do.”
Sure there is. Answering “Does this make my ass look big?” truthfully is always a guarantee of unhappiness and no sex.
And that is why I clarified. 
There was a thread on here a few weeks or maybe a month or two ago where someone mentioned drunk driving sometimes “just happens” and people shouldn’t be so quick to judge the unlucky ones who get into accidents because “we’ve all been there” at some point. This was quite rightly shouted down by people who said drunk driving is something most of them never have or would ever consider and saying it just happens is very insulting to them. Thats basically how i feel about cheating, to me “once a cheater, always a cheater” doesn’t mean someone who cheats will always do it again it just means theres two kinds of people in the world: those who would eventually cheat on their spouse if the circumstances were bad enough (or right enough i guess) and those for whom it would never be an issue. I can with 100% certainty say i would never cheat on a partner no matter how bad things were, i think this is a lot easier for people who have no problems being alone than those who need to be in a relationship to feel complete.
We’re diving into some gray and murky water there.
I agree that it would best for all concerned to end a bad relationship, but sometimes that ain’t so easy. All lot of people feel trapped, and some really ARE trapped, in loveless and abusive relationships. (the trap could be a realistic fear of economic hardhip, especially if kids are involved. the trap could be a realistic fear of violence)
Some stay in loveless marriages because they feel that leaving would be a failure in the eyes of the community or their church.
Now I wouldn’t be caught in that position, but I’ve known some folks who have been. I wouldn’t judge them for seeking a little comfort elsewhere. Especially falling in love with someone else.
Get out of the relationship first. That’s what I don’t get. If you feel the need to cheat, get a divorce or at least try to talk it out.
I think that’s kind of adorable.
The world is not so neatly divided into “people who would” and “people who wouldn’t”. People surprise each other and, for that matter, themselves, all the time. People do things, both good and bad, that they could never have imagined themselves doing. People go from being twenty to being forty and realize that they’re not who they thought they would be, for better or worse, and that the things they used to do or think or no longer the things they do or think. People are complex to begin with, and change through time and experience and just plain old wear.